THE BEAT GOES ON

THE BEAT GOES ON

Marvel-ous Angie, David’s Black Widow

NEW YORK, N.Y.—While hubby David was slinking around Albuquerque filming The Man Who Fell To Earth Angela Bowie hasn’t exactly been lollygagging around the house. Angie has teamed up with Stan Lee of Marvel Comics to create a TV film based upon Marvel’s Black Widow character, with Angie in the title role.

“Angie approached me in London with the idea,” said publisher Lee, “And I thought it was terrific. It won’t be like the old Batman series — not campy at all, but serious. David is excited about it.”

Negotiations are underway; with the networks for a special, and possibly, a series. According to Ms. Bowie, a deal is imminent.

“The film seems a reality now so I don’t mind talking about it,” she gushed over the phone. “A few weeks ago I wasn’t as confident.”

The idea of bringing the Black Widow to life came to Angie after she’d tested for Wonder Woman. “The show looked terrible. It was a total disaster. They had it in the time slot that Police Woman later took over ... it was a women’s lib thing, not at all the way to make comics into entertainment.”

The point of the whole Black Widow enterprise is to reproduce Marvel Comics; to make it come to life right there on your own little tube, using video and computer animation.

“It’ll outmode all the old techniques used on the old Superman and Batman shows,” Angie said. “Although I enjoyed all those shows! But nothing like this has ever been successfully done by any producer.”

Angie owned up to being a long-time admirer of Stan Lee’s.

“Stan’s conception of the Black Widow will be important. Marvel is going to be totally involved. That may mean a lot of work for them, but the result will be well worth it.”

The Bowies certainly seem to have all the acting bases covered . . . Angie laughed. “As David says, you can talk about this or that, but until you see the contract and sign it it’s nothing.”

Is David giving up rock ‘n’ roll?

“No no no no no . > . he’s a man of many surprises. But that will always be a part of him.”

Susan Whitall

Greeville Record Sales Hotter Than Usual

GREENVILLE, N.C.-Fired with religious zeal and a flair for pyromania, Baptist youths returning from a camp retreat here burned some $1500 worth of records, and tapes in a demonstration against the evil of Rock. Inspired by their minister Pat Roper, who declared that “Rock is Evil” and that “A praying knee and a dancing leg don’t go on the samq foot,” the joyful junior monks carried out their fiery fiasco in front of 250 church fans. Fortunately, none of 1 the participants were injured, but, of course, everyone knqws what to do if a Baptist’s on fire, you throw him in the water.

Harvey Zuppke

Pot FQrThe Potty

DEERFIELD BEACH, FLORIDA — pushing pot, one usually tries to avoid large gatherings of police. But not Gary Dodson.

Dodson, a specialty store owner,, developed the ultimate gift for the pot smoker: a clear plastic toilet seat containing grass leaves and stems. Two months ago, in order to determine its legality, Dodson showed the product to the Florida state attorney’s office in Broward County.

How to Hustle

LE JARDIN-“Do it,” commands Van McCoy’s recent chart-topping record.

Do what? “The Hustle” of course. But you shake what muscle to do the hustle? Our disco vigilantes, always hip to the dance floor trip, offer our readers a step by step guide on the way the real heavies get down.

THE BEGINNERS’ HUSTLE

With your feet in the classic dance position, face and hold your partner, keep cool and don’t get sick.

STEP 1: Twist your left foot out to the side and rest it at an angle, with the heel on the ground and the toes in the air. Tilt the head and torso to the left. Hold this position while friends scurry for their Instamatics.

STEP 2: Return to basic position with feet, torso, and head facing your partner. Check to see how your shoes are doing—they usually fall off about here.

STEP 3: Twist your right foot out to the side and rest it at an angle, with the heel on the ground and the toes in the air. Tilt the head and torso to the right. Remove credit cards and cash from partners by brandishing seven-inch stiletto. Keep on dancing. STEP 4: Return to basic position with feet, torso and head facing your partner. Look for nearest exit out of side of eyes, and prepare to split.

STEP 5: Step forward on your left foot. Smack partner’s jaw away with right hand, always taking care not to stain your garments. STEP 6: Bring your right foot ahead of your left. Right foot dummy.

STEP 7: Align your left foot with your, right. Avoid eyeball contact with dancing partner writhing on the floor. STEP 8: Wait half a beat in basic position. Then start again. Your partner (if able) should move with you using the opposite foot. The Pattern is two long steps each on the beat, then three quick steps, which are a half beat each. Apologize to your partner and beat a hasty retreat before police arrive.

You have been doing the hustle, my friend.

Joe Stevens (NME)

Unsure themselves, the authorities questioned U.S. Department of Justice officials, who recently ruled that Dodson’s product was legal.

The feds approved the seat, claiming that when the grass is buried in plastic, it becomes unsmokable and can then be legally sold.

Michael J. Fallon

1 Got You Under My Skin

UXBRIDGE, ENGLAND -What did you do on your summer vacation? Dave New of Uxbridge, England took his two weeks off from pub tending and followed Don McLean around to every single one of his concerts on the Isle. Yup, all of them. Never once did he converse with his hero or even once ask for an autograph; instead he was perfectly content to sit blissfully, American pie-eyed somewhere in the faceless crowd — shirtless: a living spectacle of honest to God hero worship on skin. You see, David New is not the garden variety type of rock fan, he’s more, uh, fanatical. He insisted on demonstrating his dedication to Mr. McLean by emblazoning his entire back with a full color portrait of darling Donny, and a smaller sketch on his right shoulder. That’s tattoo, as in ouch.

IFUCNRD THS MSJ, U CNGTAGD JBWMOPA!

"Thera was a time when the world didn't look very bright to me either!" says graduating student George Harrison. "When I'd go out for a job interview, the man would say to me, 'What can you do? Can you type? Can you take dictation?' To be perfectly frank, at the fim6 I could barely tie my sandals. But one morning as I was rolling another number, WOW, I just happened to notice this matchbook cover..

"Things are different since I enrolled at the Sri Chinmoy School of Speedwriting and Advanced Metaphysics. Why after just six short weeks hera. I've got a job that pays me twice as much as welfare, and they tell me if ■ keep doin' as good as I am within no time I’ll be playing the Gardenl”

What do you mean, wouldn’t it have been easier just to write a fan letter?

Jaan Uhelszki

Win A Good Time On Flo & Eddie?

That’s right. Look, we could have said under them. But listen. We know you’re all familiar with the syndrome of fat rock groups. BTO, the Guess Who — the pop stage sags with these rotund rhumba jockeys. But what many people do not suspect is that not all of them are Canadian. No, America has at least spawned its very own girthful galahads of which we can all be rightfully proud: Flo & Eddie. And what even fewer people suspect is that flab is passion meat. Yes, these lardswingers are the most lascivious libertines in Hollywood, such crazed sex criminals that the mere sight of them hulking in the doorway of the Whisky sent flotillas of groupies decamping every whichaway screaming in fear! To commemorate the fact that they had thus indubitably Made It, Flo & Eddie released a positively scrabrous piece of plastic called Illegal, Immoral & Fattening, which, you can obtain at your local discoteria. And to commemorate the issue of such a truly depraved elpee,, they are offering for a limited time only (like the next two days) a genuine Flo & Eddie Garden of Eden X-rated wristwatch, which not only will tell you the time of day but has an action picture of orgiastic excess in the flesh.. We can’t tell you exactly what’s on this watch, except to say that we will accept no entries in this contest from readers under 18. If you’re past the jailbait stage, you can win this fine piece of machinery FREE.

And It's A Hard, It's A Hard, It's A Hard ...

All you have to do is write in and tell us, in 200 words or less, what is the most illegal, immoral and fattening thing that Flo & Eddie could possible do to top themselves on their next album. Deadline for entries is November 15, so; don’t delay ^

Don’t Print This Lou Reed' Story!

LONDON—When the next confrontation between Lester Bangs and his longtime sparring partner Lou Reed (a.k.a. The Rock ‘n’ Roll Animal) will come, no one can t^ll precisely. But it certainly appears that things are brewing and Bangs should be forewarned: Lou is more dia^ bolically clever than any of us could ever have imagined! To wit: Lou’s recent J response to writer Anthony O’Grady (as reported in the British rock magazine Ram) when posed this question: “Did\ you read the story Lester Bangs did onyou?” (CREEM, March 75.)

“Oh yeah,” s^id Lou. “We both worked on it very hard. He thinks Ijie won the last time, but that was only because I let him think that. He’s the best PR agent I have. The worse things he writes about me, the better it is. If he ever started writing good things about me ... it would be like the kiss of death. I mean everyone has turned the old Velvet thing into much more than it ever was. Memories are like . : . fun. And on the^one hand they would like to have it just stay there. And on the other hand they would like to say‘Well, he’s .'. . uh . . . not developing.” So you lose either way.”

5 YEARS AGO

And It’s A Hard, It’s A Hard, It’s A Hard ... LOU REED SPLITS VELVETS!

Lou Reed, prime mover behind the Velvet Underground, has left the group reportedly due to hassles with their management. Lou will probably be recording his material as a solo from now on. So the recent Loaded will probably be the last Velvets LP. 1

MESSINA LEAVES POCO!

One-time Buffalo Springfield producer/bassist Jim Messina has parted company with his latest band Poco to pursue independent production work in L.A.

“See, this to me is what rock journalists do, they rip-off, make fun of musicians . . . y’know, and sell to morons. Written by morons for morons ... The best way to get anything publicized is to tell Lester: ‘Please don’t print that.’ And he’ll print it. The very best way is to let him overhear something accidentally on purpose.”