IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

We combed the countryside, the concert drcuil ne claptraps, jukejoints and ginmills, and came up Ith a leading panel of the most celebrated lushes in dom. Trek with us now through their rotted lob we struggle to get straight answers to the ques "What is your favorite kind of booze?" and "Wl the worst thing that ever happened to you whei were drunk?"

ELTON JOHN

FAVE DRINK: "I hadn't really been drinking. Lately, I've been drinking white wine. After that Watford experience [see below], I gave up drinking alcohol. But there is something at the [Caribou] ranch called Yukon Jack. It comes from Canada and it's like Drambuie with an extra kick. It's like a liqueur, but it's 100 proof. Two of those will set you up for the night. It's the only sort of hard alcohol I drink. Otherwise, it's just wine...and I'm' a sugar-free Dr. Pepper freak."

"But that's poison, Elton," our correspondent noted.

"Yeah, but I could get run over by a rampaging elephant."

WORST EXPERIENCE "was definitely this year. I had watched the Watford football club from August to April and hadn't seen them win once. And then I saw them win. I consumed at least a bottle and a half of whiskey in under half an hour, and on the way home I was leaning out the car window. I vomited all over everybody. And ittook me four days to recover. That was definitely my worst experience.

I vomited over my mother, my stepfather, everybody, anybody in radius."

STEVEN TYLER/ Aerosmith

FAVE DRINK: Remy Martin cognac.

WORST EXPERIENCE: "We were playing the Electric Ballroom in Atlanta and I got really drunk before, during and after the set, so by the end of the night I was completely done in, so was the young lovely who I'd picked up, but regardless of our 'critical condition' we decided to find some secluded hideaway in the ballroom— which we found, but instead of uh...entertaining each other we both fell asleep (I swear). And when I woke up the place was completely dark and totally locked up, and we were the only ones there. I ran around, furiously lighting matches to find the fuse box—I did, flooding the place with lights, so we could breakout. It was either that or spend the night there."

BILLY PRESTON

FAVE DRINK: "A lot of stuff, but mostly Grand Marnier." WORST EXPERIENCE: "Oh god, I don't know. Why, are they going to send us free liquor?"

GRACE SLICK

FAVE DRINK: Anything that's free.

WORST EXPERIENCE: "The hangover I had after being up for three days during the Manhole session—I'd been drinking everything."

MICK JAGGER

FAVE DRINK: "I'll have a cup of tea, please. But really— white wine.. .beer.. .and Jack Daniel's. But the Jack Daniel's mostly on stage, because it helps my throat." WORST EXPERIENCE: "I can't remember. There's been so many."

FEE WAYBILL/Tubes

FAVE DRINK: Champagne. WORST EXPERIENCE: "Before gig at Winterland, Kip :n, Vice President of A&M, gave us a magnum of Mumm Cordon Rouge champagne. And I thought I'd use it as a prop on stage—maybe drink a little, but after the set all the band would celebrate it. But there was this heckler who would flip me the bird, mouth 'fuck you,' or stick out his tongue at me everytime I'd look at' him. He hassled me during the entire show, throwing things at me and grabbing at my feet to trip me. I couldn't stand it any longer, so I turned around, shook up the bottle, turned back and blasted the guy in the face, emptying the entire bottle on him. What an exhilarating experience! But when I got offstage, I got a lot of shit from the guys 'cause I doused that kid with all the champagne and they didn't even get any."

BILL WYMAN

FAVE DRINK: Vodka and Seven Up.

WOR*ST EXPERIENCE: "Getting drunk on a bottle of rum and getting sick for a week. It happened before I was a star, and I've never drunk it since."

RUSTY YOUNG/Poco

FAVE DRINK: Screwdriver. WORST EXPERIENCE: "The worst one I ever had was last Saturday night when the lady I love left me and I sat at home and got drunk."

FRANK ZAPPA

FAVE DRINK: Only Chateau

Batailly 1961 or 1967.

WORST EXPERIENCE: "I have had no experience."

RONNIE LANE

FAVE DRINK: Courvoisier. WORST EXPERIENCE: "Sliding under the table and falling asleep at a press conference in my honor."

RON WOOD

FAVE DRINK: Bourbon—Rebel Yell, Fighting Cock or Cream of Kentucky.

WORST EXPERIENCE: "It was about three or four years ago, when I drank two bottles of tequila, with Keith Emerson and Lee Jackson, in a Mexican restaurant called El Mexicana Taverna on Lower Sloan St. in London. It's just now that I can drink tequila again, because I was spewing all night...still felt the effects for about two weeks."

Led Zeppelin And Bad Company: Rowdiest Of The Rude

Though members of both of these bands are known for their drinking prowess, each of the individuals involved were scattered around the globe, resting up for forthcoming intercontinental bacchanals—otherwise known as tours. We know that Jimmy Page likes Jack Daniel's, and that Paul Rodgers drinks brandy. An informed source, however, recalls an incident which occurred during the birth of Swan Song Records.

"Led Zeppelin always had one of the worst reputations for misbehaving in public. But when they launched their new record company at an elegant luncheon at the Four Seasons, one of New York's most expensive restaurants, Bad Company, the group who were debuting, did a swan song of their own: got totally and boisterously drunk, and began throwing food. One of the targets was Steve Ross, Chairman of the Board of Warner Communications, who as far as anyone knows, had not been to a rock function before—or ever again.

"Ironically, it was Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham, known as one of the rowdiest drinkers in rock, who became the most upset at Bad Company's behavior. In his new role as a record company executive, he cornered the band in their hotel rooms later and delivered an impassioned tongue-lashing at the band for their 'embarassing behavior.'

You'll be glad to know that Bonham didn't stay out of character too long. Whenever Led Zeppelin goes to L.A., rooms above and below Bonzo in the Continental Hyatt House are left vacant, to spare guests the psychic damage of Bonzo's nocturnal rampages.

MICK BOX/Uriah Heep

FAVE DRINK: Anything. WORST EXPERIENCE: Lee Kerslake, the drummer, found him sprawled on a rubbish heap outside their hotel in the middle of a tour.

LESLIE WEST

FAVE DRINK: Tit Caresser. (Leslie declined to list the ingredients.)

WORST EXPERIENCE: "Several years ago, when I was in Mountain. We chartered a Greyhound bus to go upstate, and stopped at a Hot Shoppe on the way to Buffalo. I was really bombed, but I went in the Hot Shoppe and ate, and when I came out I got back on the bus. It started moving, and it wasn't until about 20 minutes later that I discovered it was the wrong bus—which was filled with little old ladies on their way to Florida."

SUZI QUATRO

FAVE DRINK: Seagram's VO and Seven Up, or gin and Seven Up.

WORST EXPERIENCE: "Since I am such a clean-cut girl with a wholesome reputation, I would rather not divulge some of the things that happened to me because after all, what would my parents think? Well, they know I drinka lot of VO, anyway..."

ALICE COOPER

FAVE DRINK: Budweiser. WORST EXPERIENCE: "I decided to become Alice Cooper, and I am still paying for it."

ROD STEWART

FAVE DRINK: Changes all the time. A combination of port and brandy , seems to have lasted the longest, according to Peter Burton, who relayed the following anecdote.

WORST EXPERIENCE: "This is really a wrecking story. We were in Tucson, Arizona in 1973 near the end of our tour. Everyone was pissed out of their minds. The hotel had a miniature railroad track with a train that seemed to be their pride and joy. Somehow that got turned over. The place was soon swarming with police, and police • helicopters with spotlight beams swirling around. The next morning, we were woken up by the local police, who wanted to know how our room furniture happened to be on the hotel lawn. Billy Gaff, Rod's manager, settled things up with the hotel for about $2000. The manager said, 'It's been nice having you, Mr. Gaff. Next time you and your party are in Tucson, please stay with us.'

BUDDY MILES

FAVE DRINK: Sloe gin fizz. WORST EXPERIENCE: "I've never really been really drunk before—I mean out-and-out drunk."

ERIC BURDON

FAVE DRINK: Currant and vodka—the vodka must be Russian or Polish and must come straight from the freezer. WORST EXPERIENCE: "I was coming home from a dance in Newcastle, so drunk that I passed out by the roadside. It was snowing to make matters worse, and somehow I clasped on to a metal exhaust pipe without realizing it. Hours later, I was awakened by the police, who told me my hand was frozen on the pipe. They called an ambulance who had to bring a blow torch and heat up the pipe to get my hand off."

KEITH RICHARD

Is Boy Howdy! Keith's weirdest drunk?

PAUL STANLEY/Kiss

FAVE DRINK: Harvey's Bristol Cream.

WORST EXPERIENCE: "I was drinking during the recording of Hotter Than Hell, getting really polluted, so when it came time to do the photo session for the pics for the back cover I was so drunk I kept passing out, and the rest of the guys had to prop me up for the pictures. It had gotten so bad that I fell through a mirror we were using for a prop, and slashed my arm, so our road manager took me outside and locked me in a car. It took me a half an hour to figure how to get out of the car."

MARK FARNER /Grand Funk

FAVE DRINK: Crown Royal and Coke with a twist of lime. WORST EXPERIENCE: "It was at the second Atlanta Pop Festival, and I started drinking with Gene Rumple (the promotor, nicknamed Grand Funk Rumple) and we got carried away because of the heat. Beer, wine, rum and cokes. But when it got bad was during Jimi Hendrix's set. I was watching him with G.F. Rumple, so drunk I was leaning against him to stay vertical. The next thing I knew was I was sliding down the side of Rumple until I was lying on the ground. Everybody thought I had ODed, so they took me to the OD tent. When I realized what was going on I sat up and yelled: 'Getmeoutta here, I'm drunk and I'm gonna throw up. I'm no'OD, so let me go!' "

DAVE MASON

FAVE DRINK: "Wine—Dorn Perignon to be exact."

WORST EXPERIENCE: "I'm a good drunk—can't think of any."

JOHN MAYALL

FAVE DRINK: Vodka, ginger beer, and Mai Tai Cocktail. WORST EXPERIENCE: "One night, being very, very drunk I decided to jump off a 15-foot balcony into my swimming pool. Unfortunately, I missed the pool and landed on the concrete, breaking my heel. The impact threw me forward and I landed on my knees, breaking a kneecap. I was then immediately taken to a hospital where my kneecap was removed, and it now resides in a bottle on my bar, so I'll never forget."

CRAIG FROST /Grand Funk

FAVE DRINK: Liebfraumilch. WORST EXPERIENCE: "I used to be a drummer for a band called the Outcasts before Grand Funk. One night we got a job to play this really ritzy wedding reception. Since it was fo/ free, we all drank, I mean it was party time. The mother of the bride came up to me and told me we were playing too loud, but instead of answering her, or toning it down, I was so smashed I played on her arm. Our big bruiser' bass player was barfing and crying at the sarpe time, and the last time v/e saw him he was running across the golf course sp no one would beat him up. The guitar player got So high he offered to help the caterers unload the food, but instead of carrying it into the hall, he'loaded it into his car. Worse, though, the organist stole the goddamn wedding cake, but he got caught. He managed to sneak the cake out to the parking lot, but he vvas too drunk to fin'd his car. By this time it was a regular freefor-all. Fist fights were breaking out everywhere. Guests were slugging guests. Then I heard somebody yell 'It's the band's fault!' Tired of ducking punches, and so drunk I couldn't even say my name, I ran, leaving my drums behind. You want to know something incredible, we even got paid for the t|ig."

MARTIN TURNER /Wishbone Ash

FAVE DRINK: "I'm a wino." WORST EXPERIENCE: "When we were recording at Criteria in Miami we all went air mattress Surfing, having first beep fortified with great quantities of Chivas Regal. Now, I'm not a good swimmer, although everyone else in the band is. Anyways, they all surfed off and left me. Stranded, I noticed this drifting sensation, and that the shore was becoming about as big as a stamp. I also noticed that my air mattress was sinking and there was no one aroundjo help me, so I started thrashing for shore. The mattress sank, and I'm sure I would have panicked and drowned if it wasn't for that Chivas."

JIM DANDY /Black Oak Arkansas

FAVE DRINK: Corn Whiskey or Moonshine (They make it themselves, on Grandma's stpve, filtered through peach pits);

WORST EXPERIENCE: "Five years ago, I ran smack into a mountain in my 1963 Chevy, full tilt. The car was totaled, but I was so fortified that I got up and walked away."

RAY MANZAREK

FAVE DRINK: "I'll drink almost anything. I always like a wellmade drink. My favorite right how is a Blue Blazer—that's a flaming bourbon drink you, pour back and forth between two shakers while it's still lit. It hasn't been popular since 1875. I predict a big comeback for it."

WORST EXPERIENCE: "Once upon a time I was down and out in Red Bank, New Jersey. I had $1.13, a friend had 75 cents. We put our money together and figured out the best way to get drunk^on what we had. We bought a half gallon of Thunderbird and a quart of Muscatel ,and got righteous drun,k by the banks of a river. Next thing I knew I woke up flat on my back, put my hand behind my head and felt a flat, metal rod. I knew immediately I was in jail. It was kind of cool.

I thought of myself as Carhjus' 'Stranger,' that I was in an Algerian prison getttng ready to be shot for killing an unknown Arab."

LOU REED

F/^VE DRINK: Johnny Walker Black.

WORST EXPERIENCE: "I neverget drunk. Two drinks and I get a headache and fall asleep."

Lynyrd Skynyrd: 1 The 100-Proof Blues

"V^e're Scotch drinkers," says Ronnie Van Zant, Lynyrd Skynyrd's lead singer. "Scotch and Vodka."

Guitarist Gary Rossington, who told me his favorite drink was "milk'.' before, now changes his mind. "Black Jack and Scotch," Gary admits,

Gary is drinking, something that looks like Coca Cola with a crushed lime wedge. Ronnie's drink is clear and on the rocks.

Lynyrd Skynyrd has been out on the road for 79 consecutive days. Their tour ends tomorrow night in Jacksonville, Florida, their home town!

Van Zant and Rossington look like zombies. They stare into space, vacantly dazed. They speak distantly, methodically, like it's a( struggle to concentrate.

Ed King, the band's Fender man, only lasted about sixty days. Then he cracked. He wanted Skynyrd to cancel the rest of their tour but Ronnie Van Zant says the group wouldn't get caught running back home with their tail between their legs. They rehearsed four hours with only two guitarists and played that night.

But tempers are short. Ronnie knocked out piano-player Billy Powell's two front teeth because Billy was bugging him. Billy laughs about it now when he shows people.

"We don't drink half as much as we used to," Van Zant is telling me. His drawl sounds like it's getting played at 16 RPM. "Sure, we drink a little to calm down before a big gig, but just look around at the bottles..."

Ronnie sweeps his arrq across the panorama of Skynyrd's dressing room. There's a bottle of twelve-year-old Chivas Regal at his feet and a bottle of Smirnoff's underneath his seat. There's another bottle of Jack Daniel's on the floor next to Gary Rossington's chair. They're all open, but there's only one drink missing from each.

Ronnie offers me a , hit of Chivas straight from the bottle. "Southern style," he calls it.

"We still drink enough that we oughta get put in an AA hospital," Van Zant says. "I have seen doctors about it," he tells me flatly. '

As Ronnie talks, humbly, calmly, Gary Rossington lifts his, hand u© in front of me. I detect a few tremors.

Nothing is said about the bet Van Zant supposedly made with the other guys in the group that he could quit drinking. Other bands joke about bets like that between members of Lynyrd Skynyrd.

"Abouia year'ago, " says Gary Rossington, "we used to drink eight fifths of this a night." Gary taps the bottle of Chivas with his foot. "No," he corrects himself, looking off into the distance. "It was only six fifths. We used to drink 'em all. It was like water to us. Then we started getting the shakes and playing bad so we quit drinking. Now we just drink moderate and have a few to calm down."

Jim Esposito