THE BEAT GOES ON

THE BEAT GOES ON

The Many Faces Of John Lennon

PALM BEACH - It’s a long way from Liverpool. But there he was, Mr. Funny Hat of 1974, very deep in the lap of luxury (and perhaps face down, more on that later). Yes, John Lennon vacationing in Palm Beach, winter home to many of America’s wealthiest and most powerful dinosaurs. And no quiet, incognito respite in the sun for John. Nossir. Posing for photos and making the scene at all the exclusive restaurants and nightclubs, all the must-do’s in glorious Palm Beach. Of course, May Pang, current heartthrob of the exBeatle - revolutionary - peace creep, was in tow, gushing for the eight post-middle-aged intimates at John’s table fit The Colony (a place they think of as wicked in Palm Beach). And, of course, the local paper carried a photo of Gentleman John chatting at poolside with eleven-year old son Julian. It was widely known that hosts for this jaunt south were the Lewis Garlicks (I don’t know). And the story goes that John is going to be a major benefactor (and possibly a trustee) to a medical research foundation Mrs. G. is setting up at Columbia University.

O.K., now, why the hell is John Lennon, our hero, hanging out with all these very rich, very boring, very reactionary capitalist pigs? Is it that John has gained the inner light and accepted himself as a very rich, very boring, very reactionary capitalist pig? Is it that he has contracted some exotic lethal disease and is preparing to spend his last years and his money'on medical research to alleviate the suffering of others (just as his cannot be alleviated)? Has John Lennon become a vegetable to be dragged about by a socialclimbing May Pang? Perhaps, did John rendezvous with Ahmet Ertegun of Atlantic (who often spends time in Palm Beach) to secretly discuss a very lucrative contract offer? Or was John Lennon in Palm Beach trying to enlist powerful allies, class up his act, and show Immigration that he’s actually a dogooder capitalist pig rather than a drunken, dope-sucking schmuck, all in a last ditch effort to avoid his imminent, ignominious deportation? ... Well, well, well, isn’t it just a kick! Let’s put on our Kotex and get the hell out of here, darling.

Robert Duncan

Now He Tells Us

LOS ANGELES - In an interview in the Herald Examiner, Stanley Kubrick revealed that the inspiration for the lead character in his Dr. Strangelove film was none other than Henry Kissinger.

Kubrick told the Examiner reporter that he met Kissinger at a party around the time the film was in its planning stages. Kissinger was then a Harvard professor and a special foreign policy advisor to Nelson Rockefeller.

The woman in this sequential photograph is writhing in pain at the moment, but she will adjust to the discomfort caused by these artificial expandable steel ears. Incidentally, her real ears were tragically sheared off in a freak accident at home with a pair of defective headphones that revolted at another playing of the Stooges' latest single."L.A. Blues" (reviewed here last issue). (Photo courtesy of Koss Headphone Corp.)

Crosby & Nash: Benevolent Deception

SAN FRANCISCO - A troubled Graham Nash telephoned sympathetic San Francisco Chronicle rock critic Joel Selvin five days prior to the scheduled Graham Nash-David Crosby benefit concert for the United Farm Workers Union, , General Whale and Project Jonah. He couldn’t understand why tickets weren’t selling. The thought that people just weren’t interested in the concert never occurred to him.

The call resulted in an interview which in turn resulted in a story promising 3 hours of music and the probable appearance of Stephen Stills, and the next day the San Francisco Civic Auditorium was sold out. I wonder if Graham knew, as he was stroking Selvin, that even if the crowd grew hostile (which it did), he and his bud^ dy David were doing 90 minutes, no more. I wonder if he knew that the chances of Stills showing up were nil.

Why pick nits, you say. While most of our “heroes” are. looking out for Number One, these guys at least care enough to give of themselves. Granted. But that doesn’t mean you have to like them. Jerry Lewis does' one hell of a job for the Muscular Dystrophy Foundation (if they ever beat that disease poor Jerry is finished) and heaven knows he’s an asshole.

But back to the jive shit at hand. Crosby & Nash proved to be nothing without a 16track tape recorder and-or a crew of backup musicians. Instant sleep. Pretty harmonies can only hold the attention for so long, then you’re left with strum-strum guitar, dippy piano playing, and the faint hope that the dude with the turquoise necklace and the buckskin pants who’s sitting a few seats over will pass his stash your way.

To make matters worse, this dreary duo dredged up every 60s revolutionary cliche there is - I half expected Peter, Paul & Mary to show up - and spoon-fed § these inanities to us like so J much baby food. Crosby’s pet evils this evening were unfair marijuana laws, overpopulation, and that ultimate blue meanie, armed conflict. Nash stuck pretty much to the plight of California farmworkers, though he was guilty of pomposity by association. Guided by Crosby & Nash’s visionary thinking, 6000 people came to realize that brown-shoed squares don’t make it and Jose Cuervo does. So what dlse is old?

Enough of this gratuitous protest and nowhere music.

In the words of G. Gordon Liddy, the ends justify the means, and in fact $35,000 was raised for people and animals in need. To those in attendance who found the whole thing “mellow,” good luck. To those with the guts to get pissed off at a halfassed performance, despite the noble intent, I say congratulations - though your cries of “Eat Grapes!’ were a bit uncalled for.

Rip Stock

How Yoo Hike Yoo Brae Eyed Boy Now, Mamason Howdy?

This is not a scene from the latest Jap monster movie. The gent above, a Dr. Nagasaki Mamajama from the Kyoto Institute of Amelican Technorogy, has just tried and failed for the 3,533rd time to discover the secret formula of Boy Howdy beer, thereby duplicating its supremely rare and impossibly delicate tang. Grinding his teeth and shielding himself from the glare of radioactive hops with special Miles Davis "bop" glasses. Dr. M takes out his frustration on the tried and true original. Solly, Cholly.

SCOOPSCOOPSCOOPSCOOPSCOOP!

Just in case you ever doubted that CREEM remains not only America's only rock 'n' foll magazine but tumescently on top of tomorrow, we present you here with an exclusive photo of THE SUPERGROUP OF 1975, relaxing after 38 straight hours of jamming in Michael J. Pollard's toolshed. They call themselves The Whizz Mobb, and their first album. No Expletives Deleted, .should be out on Curtom by the time you're holding this issue in your trembling paws. Hotcha, gotcha!

The Frank Truth

BIRMINGHAM, MICH -You Mothers make more noise. The response to our Mothers contest in the December CREEM was staggering but we worked our stringy fingers to the bone and are no\V proud to present the results.

Our first-prize winner is Peggy Annie Warner (“PAW,” she likes to be callfed, and you’ll see why below), of Fort Wayne, Indiana. She gets a pair of real, live Frank Zappa capris (that’s pants). Our runners-up are Thomas Wolcott of Brooklyn, New York and Rick McMillen of Eugene Oregon; they get tops (Boy Howdy tshirts, that is) to go with the pants that went to the firstplace winner.

And now, for all confessed Zappaphiles and other interested parties, the , questions and answers to the contest (no one got them all right, you know), and the winning essay from Peggy.

1) What two heavy bluesrock guitarists appeared briefly with the Mothers in the very early days? Answer: Steve Miller and Henryj Vestine.

2) Who was the first Mother ever to be booted from the group? Answer: Elliott Ingber.

3) What famous singersongwriter once used the Mothers as his backup band

because he liked their material and wanted to help them get more exposure? Answer: Neil Diamond.

4) What two record companies fought it out for the rights to Lumpy; Gravy? Answer: MGM-Verve and Capital. 5) What line of equipment did Zappa and crew once endorse in order to avail themselves of some freebie equipment? Answer: Hagstrom Instruments (Manufactured by Merson-Universal).

6) What record company president saddled the Mothers with the “no commercial potential” label they

have milked so gleefully ever since? Answer: Clive Davis, then of CBS.

7) What president of what record company induced what Mother to leave Zappa and join what prefab supergroup that bombed miserably? Answer: Jac Holzman of Elektra took Billy Mundi for Rhinoceros.

8) Naipe five of the nine original acts - besides FZ and his Hot Rats album - to appear on Zappa’s ill-fated Bizarre and Straight labels? Answer: Jerry Yester & Judy Henske, GTO’s, Tim Buckley, Lord Buckley, Alice Cooper, Tim Dawes, Captain Beefheart, Jeffrey Simmons and Wild Man Fischer. Essay Question (Of course there’s an essay question, there’s always an essay question in one of these con-' tests): Explain in three words (or more, or less) just what it is'that you find so appealing about Frank Zappa. Answer: Frank

Reaches

Aniiphony,

Never

Knowing

Zen,

And

Pulls

Pranks,

Always!

Police Story

BRYANT, TEXAS - When

Jan Michael Vincent got busted here with a little grass and a little cocaine, he called up somebody at his studio. The state’s evidence mysteriously disappeared and two officers from the Bryant police department were later flown out to Hollywood to make guest appearances on Police Story.

Jim Esposito

Keep Your Paws Offa Me

Those are the summary sentiments of a whole new generation of post-wasteland trans-atlantic youth. All that sexual. freedom was for the nuts and fruits, anyway — the hot burgeoner is abstinence. Chastity. The kids aren't all right, and got tired of worrying about their identity crises, so they settled for coming outa their closets only to cloister themselves in their wankatoriums. Here toe see an 'utterly ersatz symptom of this coming wave of indifference. They're from England, and their name is Iron Virgin. Note chastity belt. Note dour expression. When approached for an interview (we've gotta find a new bandwagon somewhere), they would respond only with. Ve are the only complete band in the Industry."

The Killer Shoots Off

MEMPHIS - This city has always slightly resented the fact that once Jerry Lee Lewis “went country,” he gave up his old home town for Nashville. Memphis music biz folks often encouraged the Killer to record here rand he finally did, with Southern Roots -and to establish a business office here. Its “good for the city.” A year or so ago, he complied.

It was great while it lasted, we like to think, but Jerry Lee was recently evicted by popular demand. It seems that the Killer likes to start his business day around midnight, and he likes to start it with something a litter stronger than black coffee. The other tenants in the building were tolerant, but when Jerry Lee drilled 25 holes in his office door with a .45 automatic pistol one night, they figured they’d hbd enough. Goodbye, Memphis; hello, Nashville.

Paul McCartney releases first solo LP ever by an ex*Beatle!

G YEARS AGO APRIL 1970

Rumors of the Beatle breakup had been spreading wildly for the last several months as fans anticipated the release of their Let It Be album. But that LP was held up so as not to compete with Paul's solo effort, which included a self-done interview that seemed to pound the nails into the Beatle coffin. Soon the others checked in with their own albums, and there was no doubt: the Beatles are no more.

Tangled Up In Retakes

MINNEAPOLIS - Bob Dylan came to see Ma for the holidays. It was supposed to be a vacation, but Bob couldn’t shake that gnawing uncertainty about his new album, Blood On The Tracks, that he had cut some four months earlier in New York with Eric Weissberg and De-

liverance. It just didn’t sound right. He asked David Zimmerman, a Minneapolis producer (and also his baby brother) for advice. David made a few phone calls and two days after Christmas he had some local talent rounded up to help his brother out.

On December 27, with a January 4 press date, Bob Dylan, Bill Peterson, Bill Berg, Greg Inhoffer and Kevin Odegard entered the studio to recut “Idiot Winds.” Bob altered and added some additional verses to “Winds” on the back of some telephone message slips, and then he was ready to roll. One take later the 7:45 song was in the can. Dylan, obviously pleased, asked the musicians to stay and try for two.

Bassist Bill Peterson tried

to beg off because his bar band was playing downtown that night, but Dylan persuaded him to stay. “Please stay just for awhile,” implored Bob, and the bassist gave in, The session to rerecord had been booked for three hours, and already eight had gone by, producing three more songs: “If You See Her Say Hello,” “Tangled Up In Blue,” and “Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts.”

Although the Big B was unavailable for comment, guitarist Kevin Odegard was eager to expound on that memorable night in Minneapolis when he, a simple railroad brakeman and parttime performer from Northern Minnesota, sang on the same record as his idol... Bob Dylan. Odegard picked up a pair of earphones and popped them on his. head to listen to “Tangled Up In Blue” for the second time. After the cut, he pulled off the phones and turned to say, blissfully: “Bob’s a better guitarist but he insisted I play lead... it’s a thrill to hear my guitar and Bob’s voice. It’s just like being a brush stroke on a real nice Picasso or something. Just one stroke and somebody else has his hands on the brush.”

Jon Bream

Stranded In A Toy Store?

Pictured above are Arthur, Sylvain, David, Jerry and Johnny, strung up and not for sale. Yes, these are marionnettes, created by Virginia, in perfect likeness of the New York Dolls. We've manipulated their strings before, but this time out we're going to let you do it. Cut out the photograph above, attach strings to appropriate appendages, and see if you can make the Dolls come out with a hit single. Here's hoping.