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Please send letters to:

MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064, Birmingham, Ml 48012

PENSEE FOR THE DAY

If it wasn’t for us groupies, all bands would be

queer.

Twink, Coral, Layla, and the best super-groupie in N.Y. City, “Viria”

Bronx, N.Y.

(You may be right. - Ed.)

NOTATITMAN

Dontcha think you’re overdoing it a little bit? I mean five whole breasts in the Jan. ish (excluding Lenore Goldberg, men, kids, and Grade Slick’s cheap plug for your rag). I can dig the legs on page 10, tho, and I’m no prude or anything; the skin is all right as long as it’s relative to the rock scene.

Gene Gallatin San Antonio, Texas

OPEN LETTER TO JOAN BAEZ My friend, a Czech, was arrested in Dresden, E. Germany for selling “Capitalist propaganda” -one of your albums, Come From the Shadows. File that in your FBI file.

Meg Owen Baltimore, Md.

(Serves her right. - Ed.)

BABY DON’T WANT NO CRACKERS

I’m writing in reference to the letter written by that Southern bitch in your Jan. 75 ish. Listen honey, I’m a black female from New York and I have had sex with white guys, black guys, and Puerto Rican ones, all from New York and I want you to know they gave me pleasure that blew my mind.

Now, I lived down in Norfh Carolina with my grandparents for three months and also had sex and you jocks don’t know the meaning yet. Men down there don’t even know how to put rubbers on yet, gotta read the instructions first!

So before you start screaming observe yourselves. Northern guys can give us orgasms just by looking at us, while you jerks gotta feel yourselves to get off.

Go get a sex counselor.

Courtney

Bronx, N.Y.

A HALL DIVIDED

With all the controversy in your magazine recently about Southern rock and Northern rock, I would like to say that the Allman Brothers can call what they play rock ‘n’ roll til their face turns blue, but when you get right down to it the only Southern ROCK band is Black Oak Arkansas.

I will be the first one, however, to respect the right of anyone to listen to whatever music he likes regardless of my opinion, and thaLs more than I can say for the majority of your letter writers. Isn’t it strange how rock music, the universal language, which began as a unified rebellion of the young people against the commercial values of the so-called system, is turning into one commercial gang war with the gangs being composed of the fans of differing groups? It is not unusual to go to a concert and have the opening act harrassed off the stage no matter how good their music is by an audience of “loyal” fans to the headliners.

From the letters your readers have written, and from the violence and ill feelings I have experienced at several concerts this year, it almost seems that we are approaching a “civil w&r” in rock music and it will be a great and senseless loss -whoever loses - with the fans themselves experiencing the greatest loss.

Cathy Loinaz

Ardsley, N.Y.

(Oh yeah, so where’s the Great Emancipator? - Ed.)

THE SIMPLE THINGS YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND

Why do all these women put down Sabel Starr all the .time? As a native of Colorado who spends most of his time with women who look like they are either on their way to a weinie roast or a John Denver concert, it is always a pleasure to pick up a CREEM and look at all the women who look like they stepped out of a sci-fi comic and shave their armpits and don’t even know how to spell Tranzendental Meditasion and to realize that they are real women and that those are actual photographs of them. Maybe Sabel isn’t the cream of the crop, but at least there IS a crop, but now it sounds like they want to kill each other off or

BARNEY £ MIKE.

HEY MAN LETS GO SEE fcowiE!

OK

HOW MUCH ARE TICKETS

IS THAT ALL WELL LETS TAKE OUR MOTHERS TOO.'

449.50 59.50 AMP 60.50!

something. And I was gonna go to Hollywood this summer, but if no one is gonna be there, why show up? Friends around .the campfire, and everybody’s bored, bored, bored . . .

Josh Lamoreux Bellvue, Colorado

ELTON UNDER LEATHER I’ve been collecting every picture 1 can find of Elton John, “The Human Cheesecake,” and he doesn’t wear leather in any of them. What’s he got against it?

Arleen-“Eltie” Blinn

The Eternal Cheesecake Eater

Waltham, Mass.

(It chafes his eyes. - Ed.)

HOT TIPS

What is with Lester Bangs? I really thought that when people like him split from Rolling Stone, it was to clear their heads of all that socioupper class Levi scene. Instead he gives us these useless, dumb sexual-deco cum “hot book” conceptualizations of the musicians (Uh .. . they are musicians, aren’t they?). He writes about these stupid ventures include: cutting the testicles (nuts) off to J. Geils, popping tits with Grace (old, tired, burned out) Slick, and watching one of Wet Willie “swelling” (?) Is this rock writing? You sound like you get your “rocks-off” hanging around in gay peep shows and mainlining Burgie beer. If you try your hand at “Hot Books,” (Definitely you should), here are some titles: “Lester Goes Leather,” “The Branding and Bondage of Robot A. Hull,” and “Bangs in My Bung.”

Gosh! This is more fun than “eating out” with Rudy Rae Moore! “Jism”?

I’d shoot him,

A former reader of Circus Magazine and now . . . CREEM.

P.S. Is Bo£ Howdy a speed freak?

(Lester Bangs is Rudy Rae Moore. Boy Howdy is high on life! - Ed.)

MAYBE ELECTROSHOCK IS THE ANSWER?

(The following is a copy of a letter recieved by UPI and forwarded to CREEM, whom they apparently assumed would know what to do with it if anybody would:)

Went to bed at 10:50 p.m. at midday in mid May in a pseudo way. At present 1 am tense. High voltage Neutron Man like naked cricket in molasses leaves starting blocks. Ahead lies elogated greenhouse-accelerator with thick wet clouds hanging low. Ears cushioned from ticking whir by crimson ferrous spore haze thrown up by giant steel puffballs detonating in sequence. Racing forward dodging ragged flanges as vacuum increases. Tripping over Albert examining mushrooms in welder’s garb at finish line-danish tiger. Smashing facedown on the ground in time to see a segmented worm recoil under the impact of a sharecropper’s spit in a natural light. Shattered glass and the steaming ruby goo of melting cotton candy completed the cycle. 1 drooled on the pillow. (After cooling, reset accelerator on 6.5 million volts and water daily.)

A Nomad In Transit

(The writer of the preceding letter has (pick one):

a) been listening to the Blue Oyster Cult too much;

b) been reading too many books by William Burroughs;

c) been traveling semi-incognito and is really Hunter Thompson after his third lobotomy. -Ed.)

IRONMUNG

Hey, can you guys tell me something? Just what do you people at CREEM have*" against good music? I mean, it’s rather obvious, since you dorks continue to tear apart talented musicians, and songwriters like David Bowie, Emerson, Lake & Palmer, etc., while simultaneously praising the garbage, no-talent likes of Iggy and the Stooges, and-or the New York Dolls, and-or Black Oak Arkansas, and then returning to poke fun at John McLaughlin, Elton John, and Ian Anderson! Quote: “Wots... uh, the deal?” You’re very strict about talented musicians, yet when it comes to people that cannot play their instruments, you’re all for them! It is rather irritating, yet it really doesn’t matter ’cause I always did believe and still do believe that ALL rock critics are a pack of miserable hackneyed incoherent baboons, so what

the hell?! You’re still a helluva lot more entertaining than Rolling Stone or Crawdaddy!

Keep up the mung,

Scott Weigandt Oshkosh, Wise.

(Goslchegreymeeblenurgkslu5se9vds7dnsl -Ed.)

IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY I just read James Isaacs’ review of Lou Reed’s Sally Can’t Dance (Dec. 74). It really pissed me off when I read what he had to say about “Kill Your Sons”: “Reed has conquered new worlds of corn . .

I just spent 9 weeks in the Neuropsychiatric Institute and “Kill Your Sons” was the theme song of our ward because it reminded us of our situation and we experienced what the song was about.

My parents committed me because I ripped off some records from Korvette’s and they didn’t think it was normal. There weren’t too many patients that belonged there.The song starts, “Argued with the psychiatrist that I didn’t need electric shock, they said they’d let me live at home with mom and dad instead of mental hospitals, but everytime' you try to read the book you didn’t get to page 17, ’cause you got really worse till you couldn’t even read.” All you can do in a nut house is argue to the psychiatrist because they think they are always right and even though it’s your life nothing that you say or do will change their minds. They said they .would let me go back home twice and both times they cancelled my discharge. The only way I got out was in court through the mental health law that says, if they can’t prove you to be homicidal, suicidal, or not able to feed and clothe yourself, then you can be a free man. So I beat the hospital and my parents in the court.

The song continues “They’re gonna kill your sons until they run away.” I ran away from the nut house twice myself but some of the people run away as much as 40 times. They analyze everything you say and do and the only purpose they serve is to take a person and conform them to their standards. The saddest thing is when someone does conform, and that’s how they kill your sons. I’m sure that place did me more harm than any PCP I ever smoked.

Then he mentions thorazine which they give people to. make them less aware of their surroundings and in general put them out of it so they don’t have to be put up with.

I’m with you, Lou. Pshaw.

M^rk Kogan Southfield, Mich.

(And we're with you, Kogan. - Ed.)

NUMB NUTS

1 never heard the records (’c^pt the car radio singles and theZiggy Stardust LP once through), never saw the concerts (’cept that bee-zar Cavett appearance), never joined the fan club. But Lester Bangs’ piece on Bowie ’74 beautifully put together everything I’d ever sensed about Bowie: The Man Who Couldn’t Feel. Thanks again Lester. Andy Schwartz Minneapolis, Minn.

VIVE L’AMOUR

An Open Love Poem to Stable Starr (A Whorse of a Different Color)

S is for the stupid things that you tell us T is for the trouble that you cause A is for the asshole that you’re becoming B is for the bullshit from your jaws L is for the lousy way that you look E is for the excrement that,you spew Put them all together,, they spell W-E-TD-R-E-A-M - and .Stable, honey, we all know that’s you!

Love and Kisses,

Cygenet la Vedette Toronto, Ontario, Canada P.S. You were right about one thing, though: it is a nice day for a murder. Yours.

RHETORICAL QUESTION

OF THE MONTH

Dear Persons -

Your January letters column seems designed to indicate that all your readers are mindless assholes. Well - am I?

Humbly,

G. Suss Hollywood

(Are you what? - Ed.)

TURN TO PAGE 74.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10.

DEEP SLEEP

I really hope you print this letter in yo^ir magazine, because I know a lot of people feel the same way I do. I have been a ravid Deep Purple freak for quite a few years. I have seen them three times, with three different groups. Rod Evans and Nick Simpler were good, but they had something lacking. As a result a new bass player aipd vocalist by the names of Glover and Gillan.

In my opinion this was the best R&B band to ever tour the states. I seen Zeppelin, Tull and all the others. I wuz at the Auditorium and the line up was ZZ Top (who no one knew of at the time), Billy Preston and Deep Purple. I bought a $4.50 ticket and just stood up by the stage. It was tiring, but 1 really wanted to be as close as 1 could. After over an hour wait, after Billy Preston gave an encore, Deep Purple came on. Blackmore struts on stage and they go into “Highway Star.” After the show, 1 just had goosebumps all over me.

Now they dispose of Gillan and Glover and add ex-Trapeze bass player Hughs and Coverdale. I spend $7.50 to see them, and am disappointed. I still think Blackmore is the best, could you please tell me why they booted out Gillan and Glover???

Thanks Much,

Mark Zimmerman

(They weren’t booted out. Glover wanted to produce acts like Nazareth, Gillan wanted -to sing blues; the solo careers of both have faltered. - Ed.)

WHAT IS

Sometimes Bob Dylan doesn’t even say it is, and it is, and that scares me. P.S. Being a Jethro Tull freak is like being a Jimmy Piersall freak.

Alderleas,

Dewey Kick and the Grindbr Bros, (while chasing lizards).

(Yeah, but at least Jimmy Piersall had a good excuse. - Ed.)

OOH WOW, BOW WOW DEPT.

An Open Letter To Lance Loud:

Your recent letter to CREEM could be summed up by what Rodney Bingenheimer said on Kim Fowley’s Good Clean Fun album: “Woof-woof, 1 love you - Woof-woof, 1 want you - Please be mine - Oh, Woof-Woof.”

If you keep up like this, you’ll end up looking like Irene Dogmatic!

Don’t put down the bulldogs.

Andrew “Panda” Kilmek (of the Rocking Bull1 dogs)

Lakewood, Ohio

PERSONALITY CRISIS?

I consider myself a right-winger, regularly read several newspapers, and dislike marijuana; my favorite group is the New York Dolls. Should I worry?

Paul McArthur Alexandria, Va.

(Not unless you are one of the NeufYork Dolls. -Ed.)