Kiss KOMIX
Once upon a time, Darcy Q. Docile, a nice boy from a nice quaint Amish community near Intercourse, Pennsylvania, used to tell his mother, "I want to be a peanut when / grow up, Mama, because they’re reeee-al oily!" One day Mama and and Darcy went into Intercourse and somehow Darcy wandered away down a back alley, where he thought he detected his beloved oily fragrance.
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Kiss KOMIX
presents-CLEAN MACHINE GRIPS GOTHAM.
BUT THEIR uvss WERE saw-: av Rocxt ROLL!
JAAN UHELSZKI
Once upon a time, Darcy Q. Docile, a nice boy from a nice quaint Amish community near Intercourse, Pennsylvania, used to tell his mother, "I want to be a peanut when / grow up, Mama, because they’re reeee-al oily!"
One day Mama and and Darcy went into Intercourse and somehow Darcy wandered away down a back alley, where he thought he detected his beloved oily fragrance. But it wasn't peanuts the little angel smelled. It was something else . . . There, in that back alley, just inside a door labelled "Stage Entrance" that was slightly ajar, Darcy saw what he had sniffed ... A SWEATING HEAVY SET MAN IN LEATHER PRANCING ABOUT ON A STAGE MAINTAINING LOUDLY THAT HE WAS NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG I! I Darcy shrank from the awesome spectacle. He spat. He foamed. A most horrifying glazecame over his eyes. Darcy stood transformed, lust emanating from his virginal Amish thighs. And before merciful unconsciousness hit, Darcy's last thoughts were: "I don't want to be a peanut; I want a woman to sit on my face." Moments later, awaking in a pool of sticky stuff, Darcy vowed to forever protect himself and others from the dread Rock ’n' Roll that hod so violently altered him. The grim purpose of his life was set . . .
So, now, in Gotham City as Werewolf Mack, disc jockey and program director for a great metro radio station, Darcy carries on a never-ending battle to sponge clean the airwaves. His weapon? Subliminal suggestion and heavy play of John Pittsburgh's hits, "CoaldustOn My Shoulder" and "Molten Rocky Sky.” And if you want to know who's winning, take note, first, that Gotham's teens are thronging 4H Clubs and Junior Achievement and that the Boy Scouts have run out of merit badges and that Werewolf Mack stands unrivaled as the city's top jock . . . and then, READ ONI
Just blown into town, these four feisty figures happened to pic up the locpl tabloid to kill some time be twa&> ] trains. What salvation lurks behind these crumpled newspapers?
. into KISS, that crushing force of bent leather and studs.
Sensing Gotham's plight, our goodniks resolve to right this unconscionable wrong. Piling into the nearest phone booth, our lads change from their natty street dress
The guys move up from the bowels of the city to its very heort'— firmed with vposters promotinq John Pittsburgh concert. Hey! What is 1his!!'! Have the scurrifousforces of Weréwolf Mach got Kiss in their Klutches? Is this the end?
Later that evening, Go’rham's sauares turned out in droves — Vo|kswagens,Chevro|e1‘s, and Cadillacs - to hear their idol.
But what s this? It's ... It's .. .Look, up on the stage! It's the BYRDS! It's the AIRPLANE! ... NO! ... IT'S KISS!!!! ^ . . Yes, Kiss . . . faster than a speeding bullet in Billboard! More powerful than Grand Funk Railroad! Able to leap without splitting their pants!
Our heroes recieve a medal
And a chest to pin it on!
Meanwhile, somewhere in the seething metropo|is,Werewolf Mack is still at large with plans to perpetrate the grimmest programs yet
