MAIL

MAIL

Please send letters to:

MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064, Birmingham, MI 48012

DEARCREEM POLL ROLL

I enjoyed your 1973 Rock and Roll Poll immensely but a few categories should have been there that were not. Please don’t forget these next year:

Dinosaur of the Year, Wimp of the Year, Robot of the Year, Ego of the Year, Queer of the Year, Schizoid of the Year, Jesus of the Year. Maurice

Queens, New York (Any nominees? — Ed.)

ANSWER BOY STRIKES AGAIN

I am going crazy! On page 13 of your April 74 edition of CREEM, there appears a picture of 4 young men with amazing hairdos. I’ve seen that pip before. Please ask R. Christgau to identify this group or could you tell me. One other thing is Boy Howdy beer for real? Is it available in Canada for Canucks?

Peter S.

Saskatoon, Sask.

(Those cats with the dos were the Wild Thing, who made one album for Elektra in 1969, called Partyin’ and featured such songs as “In a Gadda da Vida,” “In the Midnight Hour,” etc. It was thought at the time that they were the “new Ars Nova. ” Boy Howdy beer is for the universe. — Ed.)

GENERATIONS: SCHISM OR GYSM?

Dear John Lombardi:

I was reading your article on Mr. Robert Christgau’s new book, and you were speaking in it about his different attitudes, such as the comment about Women’s Liberation which I thought was rather derogatory.

I am not trying to patronize their movement by sticking up for them, they do not need my help, but I might be able to make you understand his quote. Mr. Christgau seems to be, for all the long hair and “hip” poses, merely a kid of the late 50s and early 60s, with all the prejudices and attitudes of that era. For example, my older brother is hitting 30 and he refers to women as “chicks,” gays as “faggots,” and he thinks about 70s problems with a 60s perspective. He is moderately shorthaired, is quote “straight,” unquote, so you might expect that of him. But Jerry Garcia, long-haired, a dope smoker, allegedly the stereo-typical “freak,” has almost exactly the same attitude as my brother. He calls women “chicks,” gays “faggots” and has much the same perspective on things, it just goes to show that he is the same as my brother, a few small changes, but much the same. You don’t escape your ingrained behavioh because of long hair or dope or superficial things, it can be done, but it takes time and effort, and he is taking neither, so his rather sexist head will remain the same. I am still young (20) and I don’t know your age, but Mr. Christgau is considerably older, and the early 60s is his time, and all that goes with it.

Sincerely, Kent Gendron

(John Lombardi replies: “I think Kent Gendron is smart and I’m glad he read the book and the review but he suffers from the delusion that his crowd invented feeling. ”)

SILENT TREATMENT

The Who’s Quadrophenia should have been engineered by Rose Mary Woods, for apparent reasons.

Excuse me, it’s that time of month again.

Wan Chang Potonkorki Cowtown, Ohio

STON ES: THR EE BALLS; ONE STRIKE

Maybe it’s fruitless... but I feel compelled to say that the Stones and Goat’s Head Soup are only now beginning to get played around my house like a Stones record should get played. This alone either justifies the contention that the Stones have lost their immediacy in the way that, say, Iggy, Lou, or the Doodletown Dolls have displayed, or that immediacy is not what they are rolling these days. And I guess I oughta be worried about this seeing that the Sixties was the whole ballgame for me.

But I’ve rationalized it (I shoulda been Colonel Parker). Any one of the following could be the deranged truth:

A)The Stones are now rock’s answer to the designated pinch-hitter.

B)The Stones are dynamic, only there’s no liner notes to tell us so anymore.

C)The Stones are hoping for a multi-year contract from the World Football League.

D)Both of us should have been commercial art students like our folks intended.

Wait and See (alias Show and Tell),

Waterbury, Conn.

P.S. Both of us have missed the s Seventies already, but at least we don’t need no post-scripts.

NOMAD'S LAND

I have just returned from Sikkim and Nepal where I worked as a malaria and diphtheria control technician.

I left at/the time the Masked Marauders were being hyped. You were a regional mag that could only be obtained St one candy store in Grosse Pointe.

What I want to know is — Is the revolution Doing O.K.?

Zonk,

New York, N.Y.

(See next letter. — Ed.)

LET'S WIN THIS ONE FOR THE GIPPER

Is Candy Darling dead?

I have had some visions that seem to indicate that the revolution is coming back: 1) Bob Dylan will take over Sonny’s partin the “Sonny and Chef” show complete with new orchestrations of his old Revolution songs: 2) Joan Baez will join Bob Hope’s Entertain The Troops tour (featuring Joan in a saluting tap danqe tune about killing the Reds). 3) Donny Osmond will have a sexchange complete with silicone shots to enlarge his tits and the whole schtick, will marry Michael Jackson and die in two months of breast cancer. 4) All the lovable kids from the Houston Mass Murders will rise from the dead, go home to their families, and sooner or later will be dragged into the Watergate scandals and be indicted.

This is my first letter to you. I really enjoy CREEM magazine on account of your great staples.

WONDER BREAD

San Antonio, Texas

P.S. Print my address. Spiderman’s got a nice ass.

ABSOLUTION

Dear Cultural Affairs and Batman Comix Editor:

Since you gotta know about 1910 Fruitgum Co. and Batman and Robin, you obviously have not read Detective Comics No. 37 in which the story appears. Under the title “Dynamic Duo Meets the Vagrant Time Machine,” B. &. R. are trapped by a wandering Ukranian lute player and turned over to Gotham City’s fattest man, Leslie Weinstein, who gets his rocks off by operating a time capsule way the hell out in the eastern Queens. After failing .to divulge their secret identities, B. & R. are spun back to 1910 in the capsule. They open up a Fruit Gum stand at Coney Island and market “Yummy Yummy” and “Chewy Chewy” flavours (the Yummy is accidentally identical in taste to a Nathan’s hot dog with real Jewish mustard).

But all this time they know they’re from the future and are trying all kinds of ways to get back to Gotham City. In 1942, a fortune teller on the boardwalk who is dressed like a Buddah tells them to go to Casablanca, where a time warp exists. After incredible adventures, they get to Rick’s CAFE AMERICAIN, pass through the warp and wind up at a Black Sabbath concert at Asbury Park in 1971.

Note this amazing fact that the comic was written in 1964 — long before Black Sabbath and concerts at Razzbury. Do you suppose...

Stu Cook

Fastchester, N.Y.

THE SIX WIVES OF MXL SPLB

Earthlings:

Mxlp ge tong ke “April CREEM” gyak klo “page 82” kl%$ “Coprophagous Fellatians”: “B. Haynes and B. Martin” GELP TI LODSMBN!! L@@TV! “YESYESYESYES YES” btop la izp! Fxvd kilp bwan htp la vkla “KINDERGARTENER”, VKLXKIPIKOF BWAN HTP LA! Bwasa “Opera?” HTP LA, HTP LA! Yaqw tolk bnom “Andy Williams” htp la, HTP LA! Kjle lpsel kwang klito zworp “Baby and a Rattle” Htp la, “M%$H%&F K@RS”, HTP LA! Cvklq plitz “Fragile and Qose To the Edge” wshtlp mbop Pure Trash? Htp La! HTP LA!

Atechmy slubberdegullions: bumptious flabergudgioms: cretinous beoetians: stercoraceous besognes and alphaberic imbeciles: I bemouth anyone who will begore, bebleed, beblister, beclaw, bemud and emaciate the fools who spewed the fallacious animadversions against one of your sub-species saving graces: YES.

Foolish humans, listen to them lest you be bashed in the knee cap by a high counciler of the barnyard cretins.

Slowly dissapating, Count Clapperdedgeonisky, the little, silver-haired, green being you saw in your backyard last night.

(Thought we killed all you guys in World War II. - Ed.)

PIGGY POP

Your Stooges article was sort of disappointing. Iggy this, Iggy that... May we remind you that it was Ron Ashetoh who wrote the music to all those great songs on The Stooges and Funhouse. Without Ron, there never would have been a Stooges!

For the real story on why the Stooges now no longer exist, you should have gone to brothers Ron and Scott — not Iggy.

Stooges Fan Club Hollywood, Ca.

P.S. If James Williamson is the best guitarist in rock, and Buck Dharma the second best, then Ron Asheton pomes third!

(You might be right, although your contention was seconded in the article. — Ed.)

v SLAUGHTER AT DISCOUNT RECORDS

An open letter to-Mick Ronson: Dear-Mibk,

I purchased your album Slaughter on Tenth Avenue with the belief that it would be a brilliant showing of your guitar work. No such luck. I’m sorrv to sav! Furthermore. I really don’t see how you even released it! Jesus! After such masterpieces as Bowie’s “Moonage Daydream”, “The Supermen”, etc., I’m appalled at the laxness involved in Slaughter! I just want to cringe when I compare your neo-incompetence to Your previous brilliance! Bowie’s great and so are you, but only on his albums. Wise-up Mick, ahd on your next album, give us something we can really listen to! (Thought I’d say “sink our teeth into”, didn’t you? Sorry, queens.)

Bryan Johnson > Saginaw, Mich.

HYPE OF THE MONTH

Watch for Local St. Louis rock band the Curved Invaders — they’re incredible, especially for shock valves. The ipusic’s better than Mott or Iggy or Bowie.

Sample Curved Lyrics:

“She moves like a cobra hot on a slithering knife, With a touch so fair, she’s an electric chair And I’m going to my death tonight”

1974 Fabulous Cows Music (ASCAP)

Creem ought to come down and give a listen. They’re gonna be big.

Norman Schoenfeld StLouis, Mo.

SI ON DICK

I just wanna say good stuff from Robinson in your last ish. He couldn’t be more correct about the overabundance of sound equipment and the sorry lack of knowledge of the salesmen who try to peddle the stuff.

Thanks for being there, Brian L. Steffans Rochester, Mich.

TURN TO PAGE 82.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10.

JIM DANDY MANGRUM, HUMAN?

Thank you for printing Ian Hunter’s “Diary.”

It was a beautiful reminder that these Rock Stars. the people love from afar are only human too.

Being human they go through many conflicts, and (although it may surprise most of'"’ you) have feelings.

They are much more than machines that jump on the stage and entertain us.

I should know, I married one of the best! Mrs. Jayne B.

Riverdale, N.Y.

UPPERS & DOWNERS

This business about Oldies albums (Bowie, Band, etc.) is, in general, a Bad Idea, but judging from the fact that Bo Diddley’s “Pills” is the best song off the New York Dolls album (the Dolls are better at Interpreting material than Writing it) an oldies album from the Dolls would be a real Blast, please report this suggestion to the proper Authorities.

Yours in Capitals,

Dudley doright

Fog, Texas

P.S. first Robot A. Houghlton disappears! then Greg Shaw! Then R. Meltzer! and now only ONE (count ’em) Lester Bangs review in a whole Issue is there a Purge going on?

P.S.S. i almost wrote “Chet Flippo” on the return Address but I figure you might not like -him anymore either (better safe than sorry) P.S.S.S. what does “P” in “post Office Box P-1064” mean? People? Peoletariat? Pop? Iggy? Principal poop? (clever Firesign refer•: ence) Tell us, CREEM!!!!!!!!

(1. The new Dolls LP is an Oldies album. 2. No purge, just turnover; every wisemouth comes up again sooner or later. 3. The “P” stands for “pollution," e.g. letters like this one. — Ed.)

CANDY LIVES

I’ve been here in the Big Apple for 2 days and I’m still not a star. Are my platforms too short?

Concerned,

Blair H.,

Sausalito, Cal.

(You need a patron of the Arts. There are scads of them at Max’s: mostly male, about 38 years old. - Ed.)