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mail

Please sent Meixers to: MAIL Dept., (JREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064, Birmingham. Ml 48012

DEAR CREBM

I saw your ad in Blues Unlimited as I am a music man and have made records and have some , Rock also Blues. I first recorded in 1950, also lately and played festivals in 1972. Made records in 1972 for Adelphi and some has been re-recorded. I was called Harmonica Frank Floyd on some of them. Do you carry any of my ads in your magazine: If so, how much would one cost me. I write, new songs as time goes by. Please let me know if so. Thanks very much. Yours Truly Mr. Frank Floyd Lower Price Hill Cincinnati, Ohio

(C'mon, we know you "re really Al Wilson. — Ed.)

VINYL SHORTAGE BLUES (TAKE ONE) What's this crap - I hear about record companies messing up LPs because there's a

shortage of plastic so they're using cheap, imitation plastic and the records warp a lot easier than they used ta. Boy does that piss me off when I come home with a brand new LP and the thing skips, so'I hafta truck back to the store and get a new copy, . I went back three times with a copy of Tanx by T. Rex and the copies I got all skipped, but they wouldn't accept the fourth one because they thought I was doing it as a joke. Even my old scratchy Beatle albums don't skip. And it pisses me off even more when I come home with a couple albums I've just ripped off and they skip cuz I can't take the damn things back. If the stupid fecord companies use such cheap plastic, why4n hell don't album-prices go down, maybe just a buck even?

Nancy vers Milwaukee, Wisc.

LYREEKS EXPL'D

I wonder if you could settle a difference of opinion, between some friends and myself. On Pink Floyd's album Meddle, there's one cut called "One of These Days." The only vocals, in the song are short and muffed but.

I say the words are, "One of these days I going to cut you into little I pieces. " My friends disagree. So I hope you can settle this disagreement for us.

Truly jlours,

Steve Stein Royal Oak, Mi.

(Glad to oblige. The correctly actual & exact lyrics-are: "Mars ain't the place to raise your kids/ And anyway there's no one to raise them there/ Even if you did. " — Ed.)

SYMPHONY SYD NEARLY LIVES Saw that Holland Festival flick "Stamping Ground." Oughter run longhorns over'n„it.

It Showed a short glimpse of Rick Wright sans beard. All them .drugs they was gobbling on the screen affected my retina, for lb! Rick appeared to be a dark pink Syd Barrett! My howl affronted a greasy Santana freak in front. Now the nail marks would show that spic. But the credits were a judas — my lord was not there. A fellow Barett buff cautiously negated; my claim of the vision. I smote him on the ear with my rapier-sharp hand ("Forgive her, for she know'd not He was sorely afflicted when the film be filmed," he spake). I took up my Barretted hope and overdrived, gurgling; -"Forgive me my Syds. For yeah, though he be called from the living and give Floyd dead, he be ever with us."

Still wish he'd saved that hog barf movie. At least N. Kent's piece gave that issue eternal life.

D. Parker

Richmond, Va.

HOW I SPENT MY ETC.

What a Summer "73 was! Got stoned all the time, , saw Jethro Tull, Poco, Frampton's Camel, and almost" died at a Pink^ Floyd concert. Well, the fall looks better, "cause last Sunday I went to see Randy Newman and ran behind stage and shook Randy's hand and said "It sure is nice, to meet God!" He said so what and I was thrown out.

A Runaway Bouillon Cube

Buffalo, N.Y.

P.S. It took me 1.06 secohds to write this letter. You won't find any Excedrin P.M. in my cupboard.

DOLLS DREEM DATE After , wasting time seeing the New York Dolls at the Whiskey and pay that fucken $4.50 -I mighta shit!) and seeing these morons get up on stage seriously thinking they're CUTE! and seeing some jackass singer try to convince everyone he was Mick Jagger (the only thing I was convinced about was that he was going to swallow his mike) and seeing Johnny Thunder (Ooh, Sable, I'm SOQO jealous) try to be Keith and wave his grimy - black hair around ( I was hiding under my table for fear of flying grease bombs) I practically completely emptied my system right there.

But to top it off, I went to their party later (oh, lucky me!) and I got to see the curly-haired cutie (with those two spots of shit Oft his cheeks) throw a chair intO'the pool (who the hell does he think he is anyway — Robert Plant?) and then I found myself wandering into a smoke-filled room and got a glimpse of beauty-boy,: David the Doll sprawled out on the bed with two infectious' looking blondes on either side, meanwhile making eyes at Sean Cassidy (David's lil brother [nice kid - give "im a few years and he'll smell of shit too] quick - catch it kids "GOSSIP!" one more tasty morsel). One 'of the guys from Mayson, the group that played with the Dolls (you see I know all these people PERSONALLY) said he would never do it again — he couldn't stand the music number one* and by the time he left the dressing room his ass was sorer than hell from all the attempts at his cute little anus from the Dolls. Oh, I have NOTHING against gay boys — but these "boys" aren't gay, they're

not even dolls — they re imbecilic beasts. I will admit though there is something catchy about that song — songs if you insist "Trash" and "Personality Crisis" (maybe the stupidity). Anyways, I gotta go throw up now — I started thinkin about all those people at Rodney's whd ooh ahh when trash etc. comes on.

So anyways again, the whole point of this is — oh yeah - please CREEM, NO MORE ON THE NEW YORK DOLLS UNLESS ONE OF THEM COMMITS SUICIDE, OKAY?

love ya, §

> "M"

; Los Angeles, Calif. ,

P.S. Hey Rodney, is that yer daughter yagot yer arm around? (snicker-snicker)

(Dear M: Yours was the best Dolls article yeti Just fill itout a little, and. .. —Ed.)

PERSONALITY CRISIS I am hooked on your magazine and your story on New York Dolls. I love them all! But! Are they gay? People say Alice Cooper is but I know he ain't and I'th sure his Lady Cindy Lang will agree with me. But damn the Dolls are worse than Alice when it comes to clothes. I'm driving to Memphis to their concert there on the 20th of October plus I have their album and even if they are gay I still like their music and maybe even them. I ain't got nothing against gay dudes but I don't go for !em too much thol .So tell me if I'm driving from Knoxville across Tennessee to Memphis to see a bunch of faggots?

Keep it up! '

Mandy Bruce.

Maryville; Tenn.

(Why? -Ed.) 1

GAY DOWNS DOLLS

I read your recenf article on the N.Y. Dolls. I agreed with one point you made completely. The N.Y. Dolls are the band to walk out on.

Artie

Member, L.A. Gay Lib Front

Los Angeles, Calif,

DYKE PATROL FRAGGED This letter is to the CREEPS, WHO CALL THEMSELVES THE DYKE PATROL OF VASHON - ISLAND, WASHINGTON: YER THE CREEPS, HOT CREEM!!! here ya go prachin" to creem not to label chicks as Straight, etc... then you go "n" pick on one of thp finest writers of our time... patti sipith! lissen, YOU creeps, leave my friend outta this, not "byrds oT a feather, etc.," practice what you preaibh, etc, try it out someday, ok?

Leeee

Spring Valley, N.Y.

DECADENCE X 3

1. Decadence — yeah, everybody loves to knock it and sure as a fad it's abou.f as silly as long hair was — actually it comes from degeneracy which is a little rougher since ya gotta have some muscle on ya to be degenerate which not everybody has hence decadenfce the fad. (Who's degerate — well, Ondine — see Andy Warhol's novel A)

2. Why decadence? Why not, it's something to do.

3. It's just a reaction see for a while there was authority (God or Reason) then in the Fifties there was everybody else (A healthy person is one who is well-adjusted to his society, right?) and everybody just woke up one morning with nothing to do, nothing but the masks

left. • Like ask yourself can you take the feniinine role seriously any more? So Candy Darling and on the. next lower level Sable. Just people playing with masks Is all^

A FOURTH POINT OF VIEW "Last year I was 21 I didn't have a lotta fun Now I'm gonna be 22 I say "Oh my" and-a "Boo-hoo.""

Iggy Pop

Love,

Stella Rayon'

Cleveland Heights, Ohio

CREEM COKE BUST

You have the number one rag next to Circus, but I only got one complaint: Last night I was tryin to sniff some coke. I'd spent my last goddam dime ,on this stuff and my 2nd to last on a copy ,of your rag. So I needed some snorting gear, and being short of $$$ bills I just ripped out a page of your rag with a ad on one side and one of those dipass columns on the other. And I rolled it up tight around my finger into a good workable-looking cokesnjffin tube, and stuck one end in my nose and the other over the coke. Then I snort for all my life and what happens? Not only is your rag grade-Z for snorting equipment, but the gold, dam thing bends outa shape and I end up sweeping and blowing all my coke into the carpet! $20 down the drain! I hate you, CREEM! I demand immediate reperations of my lost drugs or I'm gonna boycott and burn you down! It's only right. *So just see. that a check for $20 equivelent amount of coke (COCAINE, not Cocacola, smart guys!) (ha, gotcha!) is in the mail postmarked np later than Sept. 13, 1973. If such is so, I will call off myblack horde of vengeance.

Milton Wyatt Orange, Calif.

(It's not oiir fault you got sticky fingers, a burnt-out system and no bread - whynpha try filling that cranial cavity of yours with a real sacrament... like beer, say'? Ed.)

MISPFIINT?

Unfortunately, Staff writers and proofreaders in their, rush to jj meet deadlines sometimes forget that, "Coca-Cola" and **Coke" are registered trademarks .and thus are entitled to the same typographic treatment as a proper name. When this oversight occurs, we simply must notify the publications (whose management invariably understand proper trademark usagejyipr risk the loss of the protection now given our valuable trademarks by the Federal Lanham Trademark Act.

The erratum appeared in your issue of July, 1973 when Coke was written with a lower case "c." We appreciate your-mentioning Coke in ypur publication and' we would 'also appreciate your routing this note to the members of your staff who might be concerned with our problem.,

Many thanks.

Sincerely,

William J. Davis

The Coca-Cola Company

Atlanta, Ga,

EX-LAZ

Eric Clapton shall use from the "dead" to avenge the nasty review you gave his Rainbow Album,

Don La Guardia Philadelphia, Pa.

(Is he gonna bring Ginger Baker with him?, Ed.)

KUDOZE

I must say that I really think that the Hendrix review by Buck Sanders in your October issue was the finest piece of record criticism I've read since Mike Saunders" review of Guess Who by B.B. King also uTyour magazine. I'd also like to' ask Dinah Uhelszki to cum out of the kitchen and blow som€ more. I only gqt my rocks off wherj. I'm standing.

Emile Nitrate

Stamford, Conn.

WAUK IT LIKE YOU TAWK IT HEY! You guys-'have a lot of nerve putting down Milwaukee, America's cultural Mecca (November issue, p. 10) Milwaukee has given the world'Goida Meir, Spencer Tracy, the "50 Nash, most of the beer guzzled anywhere, and a lot of underground cojjiix.

Just because a few local cretins created a riot and destroyed our pretigiouS' Summerfest gala last summer was no reason for you to question our city's overall class. (Belch!)

" Denis Kitchen

Milwaukee, Wise.

PITHED AT FRITH

Did you pay Simon Frith for his "Letter From Britain"? I hope not. It is the most utter rubbish, actually and in attitude. It is just not true that:

a) most English writers think of Slade as just another rock group.

b) students categorically appreciate Jethro Tull and ELP while hating T. Rex.

c) all kids that leave school at 15 use rock as a permanent background and fabric to life's raw excitement.

d). the rock writer's position is somewhere between that of a student and your average working class kid.

e) Simon Frith is a rock, writer.

' I find it surprising that a magazine as sensible as CREEM uses a piece that so blatantly supports these misconceptions. So this year it's the kids that are alright, I see.

Yours hoping,

Peter Christopherson & Elvet Garth

Durham, England

HOW THEY SNIDE

a) Now that Clive Davis has announced plans to start a new label and sign Mssrs. Harrison, Simon, and Dylan, perhaps he should do a triumvirate super session with the three, arid package it as "FAITH." Wcjuld you buy a used Limousine from that man?

b) If I hear another word out of Crag Shah in his Pukebox Jury column about the "pop revival, I have intentions of issuing a warrant for.his arrest and piping 24-hour stereo music into his cell — the best from Tpm Jones, Karen Carpenter, Gilbert O'Sullivan, the Tee Set, and White Plains. If "pop" comes back, thp Tee set come back, Crag ol" sock, and Tom Jones will be soon to follow suit.

c) Terry Knight can tell his grandchildren that he played the Funk market ever since his retirement in 1971.

Big James Alley Cat Fuller

De Kalb, Ill.

("Famous for com since 19G5, famous, for beans since 1961."*)

DRINK WHEN READY I was recently going over my vast collection of CREEM mags, and on the cover of the June issue was a shot of Alive Cooper holding a beer can with none other than Boy Howdy

on it. I was wondering if jt were at all possible for me to obtain one of these far-out cans. If this is at all possible please rush me one and I will be more than1 happy,to pay any costand mailing charges.

Thanx, An Avid CREEM Fan Andy Krueger,

Chicago, Ill. /

(Sorry, Federal law prohibits dispensing this fluid without a prescription. — Ed.)

KNOW-NOTHING LEON The next time you run into Leon Russell in his Hank Wilson pose, tell Hank that Johnny, Horton had the original single of "The Battle of New Orleans" but that it was Jimmy Driftwood, the Grand Ole Opry star who singlehandedly resurrected Arkansas full moon hill stomp music, who took home the Grammy in 1959 for writing the tune.,

Craig Karpel / \

New York City.

SABLE SABLE

I dare you to find out and print the real, honest lyrics to the song "Star Star" from die Stones" Goat's Head Soup. DoiEtdeave out a single line, word, etc. Good luck.

"Curious"

NYC

(ThaFs easy: "My baby ^dpne left me/' My baby done went to the drive-in movie with someone else/ And I feel just like homemade shit/ Yodleaydeeyodleaydeeypdlaydeewhoo. " - Ed.)

ELTON'S UNDIE WORLD If Elton John was in his underwear it was really just his way of saying "eat my shorts" to Lisa Robinson, who is probably about as useful to rock as Sable Starr.

Rodney's Sister f Peoria, Ill.

(And who's MORE useful to rock than Sable, we'd like to know?! — Ed.)

POLACKING NOTHING Dear Editingx>i the "CREEM"!

I have big petittion. I'm collector of music press. Very please sent me One copy CREEM. I'm know that your music newspaper is spendid. I will felt grateful for one copy yours. I was wrote to Rolling'Stone Magazin too, and I've one copy Rolling Stone now.

Thanks a lot. With my compliments* /Excuse me for my writing./

Mariusz A. Jonezy Kollataja •

Bielsko

Poland

(You got it, but,one won't be enough. - Ed.)

CREEMICIDE

The rain, sleet or snow man just, slapped me the November. Well how, let s see the coyer. Hrrimm. Hendrix,~Ahhh, oh wow,Stills! And Hoop! First page shows an advertisement for a faggo-glitter group. Page through a few more pages,ssorta. boring. Halt! Wilson's comic on page 6. Hee Hee, Lower his eoncho! Hee hee, dat's witty, Bobby! Few fnore pages. Stoppe! Anudder comic! Oh MY GOD, A GOODWIN! HEE HEE, HAW HAW! Dabroads won't dance. WHOOP WHOOP!!! Dat's so funny I'm in tears! Pagin" on, I finally get to da.reeeord reevu'z. What's this? A ZZ review! OH LORDA-MIGHTY! JAR'S O" PRAIRIE DOGGIE BALLZ! WHOOP WHOOP! GUFFAW TURN TO PAGE 82.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10.

GUFFAW! That's great! Oh wow! I laughed so hard I SHITT INX MY PANTS! Dann is a Dewitt! OH NO! Page 73 has a Hereth funny ! MY stomach hoit's from laughin", but I gotta read it. WOODY WOODPECKER! HAAA HAAA HAAA! WHOOP WHOOOOOOOOOOP! OH! AHA HEE! SNIFF! Sniff, cough! That wuz too much! 77 has anudder Goodwin! EAT A SOPPER! AAAAAAHHHHH! THAT'S GREAT! I'M GONNA BURN MY SHELTON'S & CRUMBS! WHERE'S MY WHOOPEE CUSHIONS? THIS IS OUTTASIGHT! Page 84 has some nudo'z. OH WOW! Page 85 is the best thing I ever read! WOOOOOO-O-WHOQP! * This is just

plain too much! OH GOD! I LAUGHED SO HARD I GAVE MYSELF A CORONARY! I CAN'T BREATHE! OH LORD, I'M DYING FROM READING YOUR RAG! Whooop, whoop! AHHHH, AHH (gasp gasp)! THUD! Lord P. FALKOWSKI Buffalo, N.Y.

Writer's Epitaph: LONG LIVE NOV. "73's PAGE 85!

RED & BLOODY

i sit in a service station six days a week collecting money (ho-hum) needless to say to retain my sanity i must occupy my time — so i read — i comb the newsstands daily and have read them all — from "aaardvark" (?) to "zee world" somehow CREEM rises to the top (natures course) \

your november issue contained quite an "aurora" of material - to say that R. Christgau is amusing is hardly adequate, as for Meltzer, god bless you for your tribute to Lillian, i only wish i could have known her.

A1 Kooper (& the Aristocats [!]) how "zee" "bout something on my main man, sometime?

primarily yours, cheeks ooh-la-lavallette van nuys, California

p.s. i caught the dolls at the whiskey — no BIGGIE — for sure yet i know theyve got potential - •

i thought you guys knew, "R&B" of course stand for "red & bloody" as in "burnt-out english pop-stars (there are a few you know)

INSECURE

The only thing I listen to is Canned Heat, James Gang, Grand Funk, Black Sabbath, Alice Cooper*. Blue Oyster Cult, Traffic, Mountain, Yes, B.B. King, Wes Montgomery,:, Ten Yrs. After, Jefferson Airplane, Cream, Jo Jo Gurtne, Deep Purple, Stones, Johnny & Edgar Winter, Led Zeppelin, Faces, Todd Rundgren, Jethro Tull, Kinks, Derek & the Dominoes, Eagles, Mahavishnu Orchestra, the Who, J. Geils, Slade, Pink Floyd, and my and everyone in PaWt."s favorite: THE ALLMAN BROS. BAND. Am I considered "into rock"?. Stay Loose,

Ong Pawt. R.I.

(Rock who? - Ed.)

PABLUM SUCKS FACE LEFT This letter is directed to all those jokers who still can't get it through their sore heads CREEM is A rock mag and when you have a rock mag David (Fellah) Cassidy and Don (Queeny) Osmond are not welcome and you jocks who defend these assholes should get lost. The pablum such baby face mousy little boys are ridiculous and'should go play in a corner. CREEM is a foxey rock magazine and should be given respect and not hassled with you dumb jocks so RELAX!!

Charmaine Cali Westlake, Ohio

QUE PASA (DEL DUNCO)

HOLA AMIGOS

Su revista es la mejor que se puede encontrar, perio algunos de sus redactores son basura, como LESTER BANGS y sus puterias de album reviews, porque no le mandan a el a Cuba a que haga un articulo sobre la vida privade de Fidel Castro.

Peace

El Sacachispas __

Manhattan, N.Y.