London — The song is over but the memory fumphas on. Almost ten years after "Swinging London" happened, the city's Fashion Image has become a parody of itself. In the early sixties (oh god, it's beginning to sound like a broken record but it's such history now) Mary Quant, Biba et all made cheap little micro-mini dresses for English dolly girls, Twiggy was hot, and the King's Road boutiques grew into multimillion dollar empires. Now Mary — who designs everything from bras called "booby trap"" to "health" cosmetics, has put together a retrospective of the past decade for the British Museum, no less. This exhibit will feature miniskirts, Vidal Sasoon 'hairdos, white plastic go-go boots, and Beatles and Stones records... right alongside the Egyptology and the Leonardo Da Vinci sketches that are housed in that hallowed institution. That really just about says it all — but there's more.

Carnaby Street was, of course, For Tourists Only within two minutes of its inception. The closing of traffic on that street as Well as painting the sidewalk psychedelic colors only heightened the tacky effect. Chelsea's King's Road is now emotionally and physically closer to New York's Queens Boulevard than anything else with all of its Jeans Wests and Real American Hamburger joints. But by far, the biggest indication of how Boutiques Became Big Business and how empty it all can be can be seen in the new Biba.

Once A Tiny Little Boutique, etc... Biba has taken oyer the fabulous old Derry & Toms department store on Kensington High Street and filled it with six floors of contrived thirties style and debatable, things to buy. What they did was take the store's original deco decor and add mirrored countertops, fake leopard walls, pink lighting fixtures, naked lady lamps, and an all encompassing sound system. Elba's selling tights, underwear, food, housewares, sweaters, dresses, shoes, boots, stationary, kid's stuff, men's wear, records, books, flowers, incense... and it's almost like Bloomingdales. But it's not. Although it's a must to see for anyone going to London, one immediately perceives that they did everything right — albeit a few years too late for this deco theme, but what the hell — these things take time ) — and it came out all wrong.

. For a start, the merchandise, even under the dim lighting, looks cheap. Biha's clothes look like they're about to fall apart any minute and usually do. What's worse is that they're mass produced on such an obvious1 level. From the famous/fabulous colors — mauve, maroon, brown, rose, etc. — to their little puffed shoulders and loose fit everywhere except across the back) — everything looks exactly the same, including the salesgirls, who are far more concerned with whether their veils are slipping down over their faces or their" black lipstick is applied properly than waiting on customers.

The one thing that works marvelously in Biba is the restaurant and tea room that takes up the entire fifth floor. Called The Rainbow Room (wKat else?), it features a ceiling of circular pastel lighting, an apricot marble dancefloor, curved black lacquered couches, pink etched carpeting, and is fun for tea

— (they've even installed a real pianist who does "Tea For Two" and other favorites ) — and meeting people. Ah though the word is that the dinnertime food i§ less than special, the atmosphere

— with its piped in Carmen Miranda music, is very Fred Astaire and would be the perfect room for Bette Midler to . make her London debut.

But the clothes at Biba — typical of most London boutiques — have lost any sense of individuality Or style. It's really come full cycle, for these stores were once the alternative. I mean really heels can Y get any higher, they just have to get lower. People will find themselves running screaming from the Chelsea Clutzarama 1 look and gravitating towards expensive stores like the elegant Zapata to buy flats. Watch. And artisans like Crocker & Wilson who lovingly hand make $50 umbrellas out of polished woods and chintz are finding themselves very much in demand, by people who want Good and Lovely thingsagain. (More on them later — it's all part of a Renaissance, a reaction to all that garbage we've had for these past few years. Sometimes you have to spend more to Save...)

No one buys clothes at Mr. Freedom anymore; the silver lurex looks far too dated. And even though they're selling everything at Freedom except the red plastic ball to put on the end of your nose, it's not even — as David Johansen would phrase it — loW" camp, or good for a giggle anymore. (Restaurants are much more important than stores anyway; Mick Jagger came into the trendy San Lorenzo one night looking remarkably straight and sparkling in a sport coat, v-neck sweater and shirt, his wife Bianca, close behind, was in last year's Ossie Clark dress and red platform shoes and looked sullen. But the real hit of the evening was Italian designer Valentino who came to dine with two magnificent tots all of them, looking very Uomo Vogue in cashmere, camel's hair, and suede. One could not take one's eyes off that table. Class will tell...)

"Swinging London". . . a parody of itself.

Anyway, most of the popstars stopped buying their clothes in boutiques a long time ago. As soon as Marc TURN TO PAGE 79.

I didn't go,but I heard all about it. Here are some pix from the First Annual New York Dolls" Costume Halloween Ball held at New York's Waldorf'Astoria. There was dancing on the tabletops, Rex Reed, Tommy Tune, Rosemary Kent, designers Chester Weinberg anfl Willi Smith, sociafite Nan Kempner, costumes galore, mob scenes. . . and oh yes, The New York Dolls. The Dolls, who have had the distinction of_being tossed out of alot of hotels in their time, will probably have to look elsewhere for aplaceto hold the Second Annual Costume Halloween Ball. . .

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 50.

Bolan \got a royalty statement he switched from Alkasura to Zandra Rhodes, David Bowie has his designer Freddie who we've all heard about, and Bryan Ferry (who's just about THE biggest star in Londpn now as a result of the success of his fabulous "Hard Rain's Gonna Fall" single) has his white tuxedo jackets especially tailored.

Hair is only vaguely interesting. Just as all the boys were styling their hair longish in the back and^cropping it short in the front ala BowTe and Ferry (to Max's Kansas City regulars it's recognized as "The Matthew Reich Look," but in London it's all Bowie and Bryan's influence), Bryan — looking like a young Dirk Bogarde has decided to let his hair grow a bit. "Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind," he told me, smiling. Girls are having their hair done in longish, tight permanents, with little curls that look constantly wet. And the dying colors are great — ranging from plum, maroon, and mauve (John Paul Jones" wife Maureen has hers curled and refers to'it as looking like a "purple French poodle") — to Maggie Bell's pink.

BUT... Wayne County came to London for Bowie's "Midnight Special" taping and caused, a near-riot in the Marquee Club in total red nightgown drag, everyone talks about the arrival of The New York Dolls with anticipation, and people seemed truly shocked by my suggestion — prompted by the hysteria that greeted the Osmonds arrival — that The Next Big Thing should really be an eight year old dragqueen... So you might haye to look elsewhere for new popstar fashion ideas. Swinging London is pretty tired... it's all really the music business now.