MAIL

MAIL

Please send letters to:

MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box 202, Walled Lake, Mich. 48088

DEAR CREEM

Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is David Peel!

Keep the faith,

RSPA (Rid the streets of peel association) Derty P. Anties,

President Royal Oak, Mi.

CHEERS

1 suppose you’ll be receiving vast numbers of alcohol recipes from readers following the Cooper Cookbook, but I’d like to pass on two rather out-of-the-ord mixes.

Credit where due: I myself stick to beer and/or bourbon. (Sissy. - Ed.) The following are the creation of Terry Hartman (late of New, Orleans) and Boston Dan Murley (address unknown.)

The Death Ray (Hartman) VA pts. milk or cream (chilled) lVz pts. Kahlua (ditto) 2 teaspoons nutmeg (Best prepared in a blender)

Robespierre (Murley)

2 pts. Ropertussin (sic?) cough syrup (Romilar may be substituted for those of you with strong kidneys)

V/2 pts. vodka IV2 pts. dry red wine Beats quaaludes, kids! ' Love, Peter Laughner The Black Orchid Society Cleveland, Ohio

A MYSTIC, A TRUE FAN

To a Wizard, (00 you’re spoilin’ me baby) here’s the lineup: _ some speakers some amps some keys

a low mileage ’69 alfa with cosmics and silver paint, even, back issues of creem, cuz they don’t sell it in e’ville. and more! try to be.

A true star

Jim Zoda acquarius, pisces, libra EdwardsviUe, Ill.

P.S. you should see my patti.

DOWNGRADES SLADE

Last night I saw Slade on television, and was considerably disappointed. Lester Bangs may consider them the new rock ’n’ roll messiahs, but I find them rather uninspiring. Sure they can play, but there’s one hell of a lot of groups that can do that. What makes them so special?

I find their stage act to be ludicrous and rabble rousing, and believe that if they make it big it will be the result of the hype Mr. Bangs refers to in his article.

I’ve read Lester Bangs’ record reviews for some time, and though I haven’t always agreed with his opinions, I’ve found him fair and honest. However, this article about Slade appears to smack of hype and hopping on the bandwagon of the next rising “stars.” Too many mediocre groups have already been sold to the public this way.

Larry Nichols Minneapolis, Minn.

P.S. That Alice Cooper Cookbook is really great idea. Keep it up and I’ll just stop paying the price to read real cute junk like that.

A NEW VICTIM

I was depressed. Extremely. Ya see, I was in a hurry. So I ran into the store. There was this picture of Edgar Winter. I grabbed it. Thought it was Circus. Paid for it and ran out of the store. As soon as I was out of sight I noticed the cover. CREEM. Then it finally registered that something was wrong. “Maybe they changed the title for a month.” I thought. Anyway I proceeded home. Upon reaching my destination I went into the den. It hardly seemed like my magazine. RIP OFF!! I could have cried. But I didn’t. I sure wasn’t gonna waste my 75 cents. I opened it. Started reading. Not bad. I read the letters. Some characters. Apparently there was .some controversy about Lester Bangs. Some of you guys thought he was a jerk (not the same word they used), others didn’t. I don’t. I think he’s okay. A good writer. Original name. Nice style. Durable guy. In my own opinion, I think this magazine is better than my old one. To me, this is a major breakthrough in history. I never compare magazines. At first I thought, “How could I be so stupid?” I mean, how many kids do you know that buy things without even looking at them? But when I come down to it, I’m really not that stupid. Anyway at least CREEM fortunately/unfortunately got a new reader and an extra 75 cents. This is a good magazine. I’m not depressed anymore.

Tina Alvarez Adams, Mass.

SLADE ISM

I think Greg Shaw did a great review of “Slayed?” in the April issue. He didn’t throw in a lot of intellectual crap into it. He made the point that Slade is a fun group — no more and no less. When you listen to Slade you’re not smacked in the face with relevant, poetic lyrics or complicated guitar work. However, within two seconds, you do find your feet tapping uncontrollably and your head reeling with this contagious sound. Soon enough, you’re up and dancing!

Who cares if “Mama Weer All Crazee Now” and “Gudbuy t’ Jane” are the same? Nobody, because, like Greg said, they’re both great! Anyone that loves Slade’s records should definitely attend a Slade concert and learn what a good concert really is. I mean, how often do people get to stand in their seats and clap and stomp unashamedly? A Slade concert even goes as far as girls climbing the stage and underwear sailing thru the air like confetti. The whole thing is incredible; it has to be experienced.

It’s already established in my mind that Slade is going to be as big here as they are in England. And as Noddy says, Get down and GET WITH IT!”

Lydia Laske N.Y., N.Y.

CACTUS MARCHES ON It’s too bad that Cactus broke up, but what’s worse is I only know what two of em are doing. Carmine Appice and Tim Bogart are now with Jeff Beck. What are Rusty Day and Jim McCarty doing?

Thanks, Ray New Rochelle; N.Y.

(Rusty’s with a band called Detroit, which has nothing to do with a band Mitch Ryder used to have of the same name. Jim McCarty’s playing with Johnny Badanjek, who did used to be in Mitch Ryder’s Detroit and is one of the best drummers in the world, in another Midwestern group called the Rockets. Both may soon break out nationally. - Ed.)

WHITE TRASH

Concerning your article on Edgar Winter. It stunk. He stinks. I stink. You stink, but that’s beside the point. The fact is the man is obviously a nut. Anybody that walks around showin off their bones, with a wierd necklace on, is bound to get picked up by the S.P.C.A. We know for a fact he’s a balled-headed birdwatcher!

We suggest that in the future you do articles on people, not retired zoo occupants.

Sincerely yours, Edgar Winter's Mirror Vancouver, B.C. Canada

DEFINISHUN

I need help. I know what “schlong” means from reading Portnoy’s Complaint, I remember what “schmaltz” herring is from the job I used to have at the caterer’s aiid I once heard Peter Wolf say “Magic Dick is the lickin’ -schtick” when he was trying to sound like James Brown but what the hell is a “kitch”?

Trying to keep up, Rich O’Brien St. Anns, Ontario Canada

P.S. Whenever I read something by Patti Smith it makes me think of the time back in high school when I had a crush on one of the cheerleaders but didn’t make the football team.

(You mean you can't kitsch the meaning from the context? - Ed.)

BEATLES NO ROCK 'N' ROLL?

First of all who, the hell do you guys think you are?!?!?! For your information the beatles were not “imitation rasberries.” It was the stones who were always following the beatles (release of “Satanic Request” right after “Sgt. Pepper”). Just because the beatles didn't play rock and roll and never wiggled their collective ass on stage the way the stones do is no reason to put the greatest band ever down.

bob fedun andrews, alta. Canada (where it’s cold)

EXPOSE

Maybe you know this and are covering it up, but then again maybe you don’t know, in which case you should be told. Ready? Well... THE REASON BRIAN CULLMAN PREFERS THE HEAVY METAL TO WIMPY, SNOT-MONGER FOLK SINGERS IS TO COVER UP THE FACT THAT HE HIMSELF IS A WIMP’S WIMP, It’s true! I know! W-BCN, the Boston FM station, has this thing at 11:00 a.m. called “FEEDBACK” where people send in tapes of themselves and BCN plays ‘em. Brian Cullman sent in a tape of himself and some friends doing some songs Brian had written and BRIAN CULLMAN SOUNDS LIKE A MALE MELANIE!!!

I’m not totally down on the guy, though. I did copy his Harry Chapin review (January) for English Comp, class and got an A-minus. Thanks Brian (you’re still a wimp).

Kim Draheim Boston, Mass.

FAIR WARNING

Long Live Cooper Freaks

Billie Marie Gross (you stink)

Yes you know who you are, you’re a jerk from Binghairlton N.Y. who plays with them self. Alice Cooper is not as you so immaturely put it scum. He’s a good song wrighter, and beautiful and smart. If anyone can get onstage and cut up a little doll and be a millionar thats good. Im sick and tired of people saying he’s gay he’s gay mine ya affair. So what if he’s bysexual it’s his own affair not your’s mine or anyone. Your gonna be 30 is less than 6 years what the hell do you no, stick to the Osmonds ok. If you stupid farouts have nothing to say take ya pen and shove it. So give up or kiss his beautiful bysexual. (you wouldn’t be that lucky)!

Alice Cooper Freak N.Y., N.Y.

MALICE TO ALICE

So Alice is using a guillotine now, huh? Far out, man, Now, instead of hoping the knot will slip and hang him for real (they’d have to play the 45, “Elected,” like they did for ABC’s “In Concert” for the follow-up) we can hope he doesn’t get his head outa the chopping machine in time and really gets it cut off. Can you imagine the fan's? Jesus Christ, they’d go wild beggin for the souvenirs -maybe an eyeball or an artery or a tongue or something. Mayb^ Glen Buxton could put Alice’s head between his legs and offer it to the mob like Alice does with the posters.

Jim Sullivan Orona, Maine

I’ve been meaning to write, but my letters are always returned “No such address.” Maybe Ron Ziegler is reading this. Hi Ron!

Thank you Lester Bangs. I can now play Slayed? in public without feeling like a left-handed jerk-off. Someone should ask Alice Cooper whether he knows that Kate Smith has a mentality of a 12 year old. There is a relationship somewhere... Two other things. We now have the answer to Brian Jones and William Blake; in Patti Smith. She’s superb - hold on to her. You people are so fantastically outrageous I may start buying CREEM - instead of using my 5-finger discount card.

Mother Kali & the Gang Newport, R.I.

R. Meltzer’s degrading reference to the Special Olympics (“Speaking of retards have you any use for them?”) is nauseatingly cruel. Rosemary Polzin Saginaw, Mich.

(Aw, he’s just seen too many Jerry Lewis movies, that’s all. — Ed.)

Dann DeWitt’s review of the Sparks LP “A Woofer in Tweeter’s Clothing” was nothing short of the cat’s meow. There are ACTUALLY people who adore them, and Ron and Russell Mael DO write such neat little songs. But Dann darling; throw away your Roget’s Thesaurus. Do you truly speak that way??? Tell the readers more about that sterling LP, and less of your Dandy Wit! “Woofer” is the best LP of ’73, especially since Bowie’s newie is such a stiff. Sparks need a hit single (“I Like Girls?”), and they’ll give Sweet a run for their German marks.

Oh, Los Angeles may be tackiest, but Sparks have quite a cult following in this Grimy Garter belt. Their fan club is even NYC based, for Chrissake! And lord knows we need them. I feel trapped in a Woolworth cosmetic counter, or a Lemers shop for transvestites. Yuk op these New York groups. The Dolls imitate the Stones, and everyone else imitates the Dolls. One big yawn. If I spot one more person who shaved his luxuriant shagged mane for a henna enhanced crewcut, I’ll shred his “David Bowie is Ziggy Stardust” T-shirt away from him. All the young kids are getting spots from ripping the stars off their faces, and such brittle hair! That gold spray MUST go! Do these people REALLY think they are bizarre? Sparks are authentic FLASH with a FIZZ. Truly the London that*s dead.

Fletcher Honorama New York, New York

Well I for one believed what you printed about John Kay and Bob Dylan so I guess the joke’s on me but I ain’t laughin’ too hard y’see.

F. David Gnerre Lubbock, Texas

BEATNIKS LIVE (BARELY)

Saliva falls from German Shepherd jaws, into the face of my baby. Ernie and A1 bring my steer to the car wash and entertain a bald cheerleader from Newark with a sudsy death. A cadaverous teenager whistles his own dirge — he is a quartertone flat.

Sincerely George Russell Metuchen, N.J.

(Wise guy - Ed.)

YOUR GUESS

Lester Bangs, I would like to know whether or not you were putting Jethro Tull down in your article in May’s issue of CREEM? That little part about Vietnam makes you look like you’re comparing them to a bunch of slant eyed gooks. Jethro Tull’s music is tight. I think you had better get with it Lester because right now they’re making more money than you are, writing for this magazine!!

Joe Schott

Ft. Leavenworth, Kansas

p.e (pronounced reh) the reply to Frank DeMasi in the April mail: I’ll let the Stooges/ Red Crayola analogy slide, but the 13th Floor Elevators make the MC5 sound like a bunch of animated freckles whipping Museum of Science and Industry ash trays with soggy straws.

kill as directed, Tweeter Twister Scenic Macomb, Ill.

YOU CAN PLEASE SOME OF THE PEOPLE...

This is the first time I have ever written to a magaine. I just wanted to tell you that your magazine is pretty good except for .your record reviews. Who the hell wrote the one on Traffic: Shoot Out at the Fantasy Factory. He cut down a good album — no he cut down a great album he must have a deranged sense of music. I liked your Jethro Tull article in the May issue. I think you should have an interview with T. Rex and the Grateful Dead. (Together?) — Ed.) Keep up the good work. Hank McKinney Durant, Okla.

BORDER SKIRMISH

I just finished reading the review of the Wackers album “Shredder” by this guy Wayne Robins. I just want to know one thing, where does he live? A few friends and mystelf (Blood Indian—Nootka Eskimo) would dearly love to dogsled down and see him. I personally could dig wacking him in the balls with a slab of frozen seal meat. Its true, everyone knows that Canada is way behind in the styles. Neil Young says so. Joni Mitchell says so, and you can find “Big Girls Don’t Cry” on jukeboxes in Montreal, at least on the ones you people send up to us. So what then am I bellyaching about, oh well, you know we bushmen . savages, a little too much fire water and right away we wanna fight. Us Johnny Canucks is all the same. By the way, did you know that CREEM is sold in our trading posts for only one beaver pelt. That’s expensive to you maybe, but to us it’s heaven!!.

May the wind be always at your back! Jimmy White Stag & Naimo Little Bear Beaver Tail Falls Quebec, Canada

To Alan Niester, regarding his review of the Moody Blues: What kind of man writes record reviews for CREEM? The kind that gets his education from comic books, his bell-bottoms from Woolworth’s, and his religion from Black Sabbath.

Mike Corbett Salinas, Calif.

Thank you for the way you handled my subscription. I don’t want to make everybody jealous with the details but you did real good. Chris Hanley Winston Salem, N.C. ___

WHERE DID WE GO WRONG DEPT.

I’m writing you regarding Mike Baron’s column, Utter Trash. Bravo! It’s about time the comix medium was given some recognition. As a comic book fan, I can say that comix are deserving of being called an art form, and maybe this column will help. I sure hope it becomes a monthly column, but can’t you change the title? Utter Trash? Really?

CONTINUED ON PAGE 82.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10.

Ken Elenich -Detroit, Mi.

(If we thought comix were an art form, or anything else BUT Utter Trash, we wouldna let ’em in CREEM. Think straight Ken! — Ed.)

CREEM DEFENDS ALLMANS This is specifically to the Editor, or whoever be it that writes the footnotes in the mail column. I just wanted to congratulate you on how you snapped the oF bra strap on that sultry bitch who wrote about your March issue. Her name is Donna Sparks (and I hope you’re reading this, you female shit), and she pecked a little at the Allmans. I want to thank you for sticking up for them. The only other group I know that could stay together like that is Ten Years After. I also remember your article and the letter of thanks they sent you. By the way, your poll was great. Chicago sucks. So how’s New York City?

Aronstone Norwich, N.Y.

Can you play a gold record on a stereo?

Jim McMeilen Albuturkey, N.M.

P.S. I liked the way you chopped up Dr. Hook.

(1. Yeah, you can - except it’ll destroy your stylus and nobody who’s ever tried it found the same record as the label says. A friend of ours, for instance, once played a Jethro Tull gold disc and discovered it was Lou Monte.

2. If you liked his review, wait’ll you get a load of L.Bangs’ story on Dr. Hook, upcoming in CREEM. He may even like ’em! -Ed.)

COSMIC PROFUNDITY OF THE MONTH The artist cannot create if he is content. (Who can be content when someone is trying to stamp him out?) Near elimination of existence (subsistence) becomes a stimulus for the assertion of existence (creation).

Want a raisin? EAT IT!

If I was stuck in a goddamn stark, dark room, and all I had to eat every day was oatmeal, lumpy oatmeal, and somebody stuck in a raisin, and I said: what’s that? For Chrissake, it’s good, it’s yummy, it’s expanding my consciousness, it’s giving me a new perspective, I WANT ANOTHER RAISIN!

And if one of those freaks with wierd convolutions told me that if I really thought ’ about it, if I really cared, if I asked for my balls back, if I dared... then I wouldn’t have to ask for Pablum Oatmeal every day, that I could actually have RAISINS everyday, I’d do almost anything to get away from that Pablum wouldn’t you?

Ken Benson

Detroit, Mi.

1. Next to Alvin Lee, Dave Edmunds and Jimmy Page (but after Houses of the Holy I have some doubts),T.S. McPhee is the best guitarist around.

2. Eric Clapton stinks and should be made to listen to ALL his records from Fresh Cream to the present non-stop with earphones or, he should be hung at the gallows unless he is already dead.

3. Leigh Stephens is never going to make it in life unless he reforms the original Blue Cheer and fast!

Mitch Lee . Novato, Calif.

ANOTHER COUNTRY

From where I come from, Walled Lake sounds like Heaven. We only have one place to go see concerts. It’s “the Moist Jock” and the biggest act we ever saw was “General Jizz and his Band.” The Jock advertises three-bill concerts like “The Vagrants/Mountain/and special guest West, Bruce & Laing.” So the local FM station WETT-FM (pronounced “Wet Femme”) will say “OK Kidz, spend $3 and see 3 top groups. And remember, West, Bruce & Laing features formerly dead comedienne Lenny Bruce!” US dipshits (there are only 3 smart ones, me, Wonder Willie and M. Trucker Tucker) say “Must be Leslie West is reformin’ his old groups.” So, 400 $3 tickets are sold out, and comes showtime, they say the 3 groups cancel, and are replaced by “The Gropers” and “Premature Sq,uirt.” It’s a goddam rip-off, but the only other things related to rock around here are the new issues of CREEM and Life. Goin’ to see Dylan Tuesday (Ruby’s brother? - Ed.) at the Jock. Hope it’s good.

Cheez Breez (with Will & Tuck)

Recthole, U.S.A.

1. Jethro Tull are just plain dull.

2. Dave Marsh is way too harsh. .

3. Lester Bangs don’t give a hang.

4. Robot Hull will bust your skull.

5. Alice Cooper pulled a blooper.

6. David Bowie’s mush too showy.

7. Ole Ed Ward he’s sure a card.

8. Greg Shaw still lives with his maw.

9. Iggy Piggy beat up Ziggy.

10.You cats at CREEM ain’t what you seem.

Bill Swegles Peck Toral, Colorado