Interviews are fun. You go to a hotel, you get a free meal, enough booze to mellow you out just a little, and you ask some bozo musician a few ridiculous questions. When we were asked to do Leslie West, though, we were just a bit hesitant. Why? Because we just never were Mountain fans. Even acknowledging his talentSi we always considered him a fat Eric Clapton.

But we made up a few questions and went to the Windfall Records office in Manhattan. There we were ushered into a comfortable but small office, and suddenly we realized we weren 't even going to get a free lunch out of this. Did these people really expect a complimentary interview? In very low spirits, we were introduced to Gary Kurfirstian (Leslie's manager) and Rich Totoain (a local East Coast under assistant promo man). They both sat in on the interview. They were cool and easy to talk to, but we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of the big man.

In he walked, hitching up his striped Mickey Mouse pants. A quick handshake and a few words of introduction. He spots our notes on the table and very openly asks us, "Why the fuck are you asking all these questions about music?"

"We believe music raises our level of consciousness," we reply.

"What are you from Detroit or something? "

"No man, we're from New Paltz," we answer.

"It gets cold in Detroit in the winter, huh?"

"But we're from New Paltz, not Detroit."

"You know, Detroit is real fun to play in. Say hello to John Sinclair for me."

Our next gesture was to show Leslie a copy of our magazine. Teenage Wasteland Gazette, of which Adny is editor and Bob an occasional writer. He glances through it until he zeroes in on an article about the Cerebral Palsy telethon. "That was my big break," West said. "I played on a telethon with the Vagrants and we looked so good in comparison to all the no-talent wonders and spastics that we were asked back to do telethons from then on. I'd still do them too, except for the fact that Joe Franklin refuses to appear on any."

Then we switched on the tape recorder.

The first time we saw you was on the now-famous Cerebral Palsy Telethon, with the Vagrants. Had you been playing long then?

Nobody knew how to play any instruments when we started the band. And we practiced that way because when you’re shitty, everybody’s shitty together. And when you get good, whoever’s gonna get good is gonna get good.

They left me behind. I’m still playing Telethons.

Did you each choose your own instrument?

Gary Kurfirst: Well, it was whoever was stronger got their choice. They didn’t choose — it wasn’t very democratic.

West: I bought my first guitar with my Bar Mitzvah money. And nobody would lend me a fuckin’ amplifier. But I really didn’t have any aspirations then. The group wanted to make it, of course.

But you didn Y go out and learn English accents. ..

Naaah. I didn’t learn how to speak English, much less English accents. I was a high school asked-to-leave, not even a drop out. I broke the record at Forest Hills High for most consecutive days on 42nd Street.

Then, when my parents got divorced, I moved to New Jersey. And the funniest thing was getting off the bus at the Port Authority Terminal, and there he was, the Truant Officer. He had taken the same bus as me and everything. He just waited for me to come down the escalator.

Were you the type of kid who got caught smoking cigarettes in the bathroom?

Nah, I never did anything dirty like that.

Kurfirst: He never went to the bathroom.

West: I’ll tell you what I did do, though. I once had these pornographic pictures, you remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. It’s a little bit different now. Well, anyway, I had these pictures. I wish I had them now. And I brought them over to Forest Hills High School...

It was the funniest fuckin’ thing. I caught the principal playing with himself. Now I’ll tell you about it. I had these pictures, y’know, and I’m sitting in Spanish class — the only thing I know in Spanish was “por que pig.” The teacher would say, “What does por que mean?” and I’d say, “Por k fuckin’ pig” — so I’m sitting with the pictures passing them under the table when the teacher asks me to bring them up to him. So I bring them up, and he looks at ’em and he says, “Follow me.”

I figured he was taking me to the darkroom so we could blow ’em up or something. He takes me to the principal’s office. Now, we used to have this cop, who helped you across the street. He made sure you didn’t cross the street at green, or inbetween, or whatever. His name was O’Brien. And there he’s sitting, with his arms folded, right? And he looks at the principal and he looks at the Spanish teacher. I’m sitting in the corner and they’re holding up the picture like this (Leslie’s eyes pop out of his head.). And the next thing I know my father’s in the fuckin’ office. I don’t know how they got in touch with him. x

Now they’re asking me where I got them. So I said, “In the incinerator room.” And then the guy says, “You mean to tell me that you ah, ah, ah, found these disgusting pictures ... of blow jobs and everything in an incinerator room?” I said, “No man, they were in a carton with a few dirty magazines, and I picked up a few.” He says, “Well, did you take all of them?” I’m sitting there thinking, “Waa-hoo, that’s the principal of my high school, man.” So from then on I decided to really settle down and not go back to high school;

Do you think your experiences in high school helped you with your rock and roll career?

Oh definitely. I got my first blow job in high school. That’s part of rock and roll .. . High school was great because I never went and what they were teaching, I didn’t want to learn. The funniest thing was when they asked me to be drummer in the fuckin’ band for the football team. I said, “I play guitar, Jack.” And the team said they didn’t have room for a guitar player. “How’d you like to play parade drum?” So I said, “How’d ya like to milk my bone?”

But, I won the talent show in seventh grade singing “Jail House Rock.” Boy, did I look stupid. Fat kid with short hair trying to look like Elvis Presley. It didn’t work, but I won.

Were the Vagrants formed while you were in high school? Deformed! One had one leg. Another had a short arm.

You see in those days, there weren’t that many groups. If I didn’t know you guys were from Teenage Wasteland, I’d think you were in a group.

Anyway, in those days, there weren’t groupies, because there weren’t any groups. The only groups then were the Stones, the Beatles and occasionally the Who. And the chicks would gather round whenever we had a practice, not because we needed the practice, but because we wanted to get a few hand jobs. And we got a taste of it. But it was always, imagine if we were famous, man, driving around in limousines and not paying the bills, on the lay-away plan. Buy now and lay-away for six months.

Do you enjoy limousines?

No, I hate them. If I sit in the back and somebody sits in the jump seat, I get my knees in my throat. The only limousines that are really big enough for me are the ones in England. They have these big ones and there’s room enough for five of me in there. But it’s better to get a rented car. Like in Miami, one time, we got the police chief, moonlighting, as the chauffeur. We drive to the goddamn Coliseum and he goes, “Hey Mike! You want to fead me out of here?” So I say, “Hey ah, let me ask you a question. How come you got so much pull with Mike?” “Oh, he works for me, I’m the police chief. I just do this on the side.”

A Stratocaster was my first guitar and a Bentley was my first car. That’s another thing ~ that was a goal. My father had a Cadillac. I came from a real low-class Jewish family, with the Cadillac unpaid for. And, uh, I used to be thrilled with Cadillacs, because all my friends had ’em. Their fathers were generous enough to give the kids the car. My father couldn’t give me the car because he knew the finance company would take it back the next day. So he had to keep it around.

So I always wanted a Rolls or a Bentley. I found out from Jack Bruce that in-England, if you could afford a Rolls, you could afford a Berkley. So if you get a Bentley, you’re not showing off. And it’s $600 cheaper. So you saved the $600, you’re groovy and you buy a motorcycle.

In the Bronx, the guy whose basement it is has the choice of what instrument he plays. You weren’t too poor to have a basement?

It was a basement, /eah, in an apartment house. It was where they store the baby carriage and the bicycles and all that stuff. We rehearsed in a place called the Cameo Bowling Alley, the Vagrants. BuJ in those days it was rehearsals; with the new band, we don t have to rehearse. We just get up and play and that’s really how it started. Corky and myself wanted to work and so we went over to England.

Felix (Pappalardi) was really tired — he’s been going a long time. He’s spent most of his life in the studio and on the road. So he was tired, and wanted to take a leave of absence. Corky and myself, on the other hand, just couldn’t stop. So we called Jack (Bruce) and Jack just wanted to play.

How did you first meet Felix, and how did you first meet Jack Bruce?

I first met Felix while I was with the Vagrants, while he was still producing Cream. And I, uh, I idolized that group. I saw Cream at the Village Theatre, and I was oh acid. I decided after that to either shit or get off the pot.

Then Felix introduced me to Jack, after we played with the Jack Bruce Group at the Fillmore. I finally met Jack, and from then on it was a reality. Never met Eric (Clapton) though. But he sure is the greatest guitar player in the world, of that style. To me, at least.

How do you feel, since four or five years ago, you were idolizing this guy and now you ’re playing with him in a band? It’s fantastic. You sort of look at it as another part of your life. That guy plays bass faster than Alvin Lee plays guitar. And that makes me git off my ass.

And Corky is an incredible drummer, I never realized what a drummer could do. Simon Kirke and Charlie Watts helped Corky’s head so much. Steady drumming. And Levon from the Band ...

You know, it was weird for each of us, because we didn’t know, really, how we’d play together. I knew what Jack could do, not everything, but I knew what he could do to make me want to play with him. And he knew what Corky could do. So it was a great experience getting that thing together.

We only rehearsed two hours for that first tour. I knew “Sunshine of Your Love” backwards and forwards five years ago. And we did it. It’s still fun to do them, man. How can you be ashamed of something like that? “Mississippi Queen,” “Politician,” “Sunshine of Your Love,” “Pressed Rat and Wart Hog.” So we had written only one song. While on the album, how many songs are on the new album? Ten? Only one wasn’t written by us.

There’s one tune where Jack put fourteen vocals on it. It sounds like the Jackettes. And he did it by himself, Corky and I were in the hall. And Jack and Andy (Johns, the engineer) put these backing vocals on and there are fourteen voices on it. Do you watch TV at all?

Yeah, the Cisco Kid, man, at five o’clock in the morning.

And to top it off, it’s time for Truth (dooh) or Consequences phfffft (fart noise). Do you see that? Yeah, I love TV. Do you like educational TV...

Naaaah ...

I mean, Jeopardy, The Who, What or Where Game, and Hollywood Squares, of course.

I like Hollywood Squares because of Paul Lynde. He’s fantastic!

Rich Totoain: I’ll tell you how much he likes TV. Tell them about the time we were driving in Woodstock.

West: Oh man ... Lee Marvin lives in Woodstock. But anyway, me and Rich were driving through town, Woodstock, and who do we see but Sgt. Carter from Corner Pyle! I fuckin’ hit the brake, and say (in Gomer Pyle accent), “Go-ll-ee, Sgt. Carter.” And there he was standing there in dungarees and a dungaree jacket. My idol, man!!

He had a crewcut, too. And he was just hanging out in the street. In Woodstock.

R.T.: Leslie got so excited he was blowing on the horn, yelling “Whoooh!”

Do you enjoy touring?

Oh yeah. I can’t help it. I can’t not do it. That’s where you get that buzz.

Get up there and any insecurities you got, go away. Because the kids dig you and you feel great. It’s those kids who take money ou!t of their momma’s pqcket and buy that album. They do anything to get to that concert, man. I really... I feel indebted to the kids because they’re really incredible.

It seems like many rock and roll stars were insecure kids. And they became rock and roll stars because when you are on stage, you ’re god. To the audience, at least.

Well, Jack used to live in Scotland. And he used to play a big standup bass, and he’s a little short guy. He used to tell me that people would laugh at him. You remember the old story of the kid carrying the violin case and people laughing at him. Imagine him with this big thing.

Jack used to be in a band with Charlie Watts and Mick Jagger. He’s been in loads of bands. This is only my third band. I was in the Vagrants, Mountain, and now this.

Did you always aspire to be a rock and roll star?

Well, you use that term, rock and roll star. I call it, ah ... rock and roll-er. You know what I mean. It’s nice of you to think of it that way. You’re probably one of the kids who helped pay for my car.

Naaaah.

What, you never came to a concert?

I saw you at Queens College with Mountain, about three, four years ago.

Oh, you just paid for my snow tires.

I saw you at the Woodstock festival, too. What ever happened to the oboe player who played with you there?

What fuckin’ oboe player? We never had an oboe in Mountain. What the fuck are you talking about?

Just trying to mix you up... What’s Felix doing now?

He’s living in Nantucket, taking it easy and fishing.

What else is new?

I got a micro-wave oven. I got it for my old lady for her birthday, and boy oh boy, that’s fast. The first meal we cooked was a meat loaf with vegetables. The vegetables were frozen, the chopped meat was frozen. And we defrosted that in about two minutes. The meat was soft! The vegetables were soft! She made the meat loaf. We ate, the dishes were washed and we were watching the Tonight Show within an hour.

What’s your favorite food?

It depends on what I’m eating. I like everything, man. If I was eating you, I’d like it. You know.

I wonder if you could give your readers a list of good places to eat around the country?

Oh boy, a list of places to eat... The Orange Room, Nedick’s. How about the White Room... White Castle?

Sure, we used to eat in the White Room, I mean Castle, a lot.

But really, do you know one of the best places to eat? In the whole fuckin’ world? Le Pavilion. It closed recently, too. The service they give you is so ridiculous. The guy sits you down, one guy takes your coat off, another guy takes your pants off, and the next guy comes over and sucks you off! He says, “What would you like? Now that I’ve eaten, what would you like?”

That was one of the most incredible restaurants. People just don’t have the money to go to those restaurants any more. Otherwise, I recommend White Tower or MacDonald’s hamburgers.

Do you drink at all?

Yeah, Dom Perignon champagne. It’s the only thing I drink. We had a birthday party for my wife last week and I’m not a drinker but I got pissed. It’s a lot of money, but I’ll tell ya, it’s a lot cheaper than getting burnt on a lot of drugs. And not getting hung up on any of the drugs. But Jack’s the drinker. He’ll tell you what things to drink. He is wine ... Willy Wine. He knows wine like I know hamburgers. I used to order cheeseburgers and malteds for him in the studio.

What does Corky like to eat?

Pussy!

R.T.: And raisins.

West: Raisins. He makes nice movies, though, 111 tell you that. .. Hey whatcha got there? (Indicates a slip of paper in

Adny’s hand.)

These are my questions. Both of them. We didn ’t really come with any questions.

And you’re not going with any answers, either.

I know.

Heh heh, so now that you finished your Coca Cola why don’t you get the hell out of here.

Do you think West, Bruce and Laing will last?

Sure, man. We signed a five year deal. If you get a rock group together and it feels good and sounds good to us, we hope the people will dig it just as much. Because even though you do make your records for yourself, you really want people to like them. You’re disappointed when they don’t

Now you would want me to like you I Hope, and I do. Just because you’re sitting there ...

I don *t consider myself a critic.

^WeU» you ain’t got nothin’ to be critical about. .. you ain’t even wearing socks. You’re gonna catch a cold, man, you want me to lend you a. pair of socks?

I don’t even have underwear on.

I’ll lend you a pair of them, too. You can both wear ’em.

Have you noticed any difference in the audience over the years?

Sure. Do you realize that if you owned 1967 calendars, and if 1967 ever came back again, you would be a millionaire. Just think about it, if you owned a million 1967 calendars and 1967 ever came back, you’d be holding them, man. I’d even ask you to sell me some. Of course, the kids grow up. And of course, the times change,