TEST PATTERN FOR LIVING Nicholas Johnson Bantam

Throughout Test Pattern for Living, Nicholas Johnson is a man haunted by the evils which surround him. From his vantage point as Federal Communications Commissioner, Johnson has decided to speak out against the vampire lusts of what he terms Big Business, Big Government and Big Broadcasting. He stated his case in his first book (How To Talk Back To Your Television Set) and here he offers more observations as to who, what and why we are the way we are.

It�s difficult not to have a great deal of compassion for what he�s saying. Johnson has a child-like grasp of America�s problems. He�s been sold on all the good causes, from women�s lib to ecology, but his less than specific solutions are embarassingly naive. (One can wear functional rather than socially acceptable clothing. Riding a bicycle will really screw General Motors.) Johnson has the peculiar viewpoint which announces that the people in power are the problem, and the solution is for other people to sit upon the thrones from which the three �Bigs� are controlled.

TV gives him nightmares. Television �fertilizes� the �cancerous growth� of the �corporate state� and Big Business, and Big Government work hand-in-hand to control Big Broadcasting. TV makes us assume false wants, and gives a false sense of freedom by providing alternative solutions to problems that either don�t exist or can�t be solved by buying a product with miracle ingredients.

Johnson has the vision of Emerson and Thoreau: the financially secure dilletante�s desire to get back to himself and nature for a spiritual communion that will make him a �real person.� The first thing to do, he thinks, is readjust the mass media to reflect more honestly who and what we are. Give the circus a new ringmaster to help the audience separate fantasy from reality.

Television annoys Nick. He�s the old maid pissed off at those around him for yielding to the temptations of the flesh. Like so many other liberals, he has that power-infested view that TV is always on. He makes no allowance for the most essential of prerogatives: the right to turn off the set.

When Johnson isn�t filling his books with descriptions of how he spends the

When Johnson isn�t filling his books with descriptions of how he spends the evening philosophizing with Mason Williams about how TV has dragged America right down into the pits, he�s writing paragraphs like:

Psychiatrists, and others far more knowledgable than I, believe there may well be some correlation between the television image of'women and the problems of many of today�s unhappy housewives: divorce, alcoholism,

promiscuity, frustration, anxiety and mental illness. At the very least, we are not helping our children to develop satisfying attitudes about their sexuality by what we are teaching them in television commercials.

And that is the summation of Nicholas Johnson�s thoughts about women, children and TV commercials.

Nick�s been watching too much TV. He�s so shot full of stereotypes, it�s a wonder any of the book makes sense.

Most of Test Pattern is interesting reading, unwittingly funny, full of quotes from the writings, poems, songs and thoughts of such cosmic sages as Mason Williams, Melanie, Frank Zappa and John Hartford. But it�s also scary reading.

Nick sees TV as public property and he wants more education and information on the tube. He uses the phrase public property on a collective level. But some elite is going to have to be chosen to determine just what should be public. Nick wants total control.

Personally, I don�t think he�d do a very good job. Johnson�s just too self-righteous. �Most Americans are neither statistics nor corporation presidents,� is an unfortunately typical mouthing.

Underneath it all, Nick gives me the impression that if he could put what he wanted on TV, he�d also make sure we�d sit and watch every minute of it.

If you�ve got a spare $1.25, you can help Nick collect a few royalties, and find out what liberal government employees are thinking this year.

If you haven�t got the money, don�t fret. You can always watch television.

Richard Robinson

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED Clifford Irving with Richard Suskind , Grove

What�s the perfect swindle? Might it be the swindle which forces the swindler to work his ass off to give the swindlee better than the real thing?

In that case, Clifford Irving is Not Guilty, capital N, capital G. After all, didn�t McGraw-Hill get just what they wanted, in fact, more than they ever dreamed they�d get from this (formerly) ignominous hack? Didn�t Howard Hughes get an autobiography much more lucid, clean and clear than the old fart will ever be able to give himself? DON�T YOU WANT TO READ IRVING�S BOGUS BOOK MORE THAN YOU WANT TO READ HOWARD�S CROTCHETY HEALTH FOOD THEORIES?

This is your chance. The secret of What Really Happened is that it is the only place, aside from some crusty lawyer�s vault, where you�ll be able to read any part of that noble questionand-answer format �interview� between Howard Irving Suskind and Richard Clifford Hughes. There isn�t a publisher within ten thousand miles of Manhattan who�d touch the thing now, even as a �historical� document.

Well, who cares? Clifford Irving is a great writer, the best trash-hack since Puzo, since Susann and maybe even since Robbins. Arthur Hailey ain�t even in the same league with this Irving boy.

In fact, Irving is so good, I got a feeling that What Really Happened probably ain�t the legit number anyhow. What Really Really Happened is Howard Hughes best shot at a best seller now. The complete details of his interviews with Irving, how he chickened out at the last minute and bought Irving, Irving-frau, Van Pallandt, Suskind and McGraw-Hill out for mega-money.

It�s not too weird to be true. The alternative is that Irving is telling" the truth, which means that TimeLife, McGraw-Hill and several other major American institutions are suckers beyond belief.

Maybe there�s one incorporated every minute.

Dave Marsh

THE GOURMET COKEBOOK White Mountain Press

Books like this are inevitable. Stumbling in the wake of every trend or would-be hype come the mercenary by-products, almost as if such exploitation is actually necessary confirmation of the product�s validity. These byproducts aren�t necessarily limited to tee-shirts, comic books, bedspreads and official patches; there are usually a few high-brow works of scholarly intent lurking in every camp. During the hula hoop craze I can even remember a perfectly serious book called Hooping Your Way to Health.

So this year it�s cocaine on national TV and in every junior high school lavatory This is one of the first serious artifacts to come out of the craze, and it�s one of the few with any real value. It succeeds where others (especially those on grass) have failed, largely because it doesn�t attempt to justify the phenomenon but simply acts on the assumption of its existence. The book explains what the drug is, its history, uses and even details the manifestations of the popular culture surrounding it. All this in very clear and literate terms, with a good visual and graphic sense. In all, the book is every bit as interesting as it is unusual. The perfect Christmas gift, if you can hold off that long.

Ben Edmonds

BLOOD IN MY EYE — George Jackson (Bantam): This is not as romantic as Jackson�s earlier collection, Soledad Brother, which wasn�t all that romantic to begin with. It�s no longer the developing theory of the black criminal mentality become revolutionary. Blood In My Eye is about tactical guerilla warfare, its necessity and its chances for success in America. The book was completed only days before Jackson was murdered in San Quentin, and in that sense, it may be prophetic. This is tough, hard stuff, takes a lot of background, but no black writer is as lucid, powerful and rational as Jackson.

THE ALEPH AND OTHER STORIES, 1933-1969 — Jorge Luis Borges (Bantam): Borges is a celebrated Argentinian short story writer, maybe the last master of that form. �The Aleph,� written in 1945, has had a profound influence on the work of William S. Burroughs, among others. As might be expected from that reference, the pieces here are dark and slightly surreal, intensely moral vignettes. An extensive autobiographical essay is also included. Tough but worthwhile; Borges knows it don�t come easy.

PICKUP ON NOON STREET and TROUBLE IS MY BUSINESS - Raymond Chandler (Ballantine): The latest in the Raymond Chandler series, which has been on the racks for over a year; these two are collections of short stories, about four to the book. Trouble is better, if only because the protagonist is Philip Marlowe, the hero of the Chandler novels. Pickup is older, darker, probably inferior stuff, but there is no better detective/mystery/thriller writing anywhere. Perfect for plane rides and insomniacs. Chandler may be a better writer than Faulkner, after all.

THE UNIVERSITY OF TOMORROWLAND — Jerry Farber (Paperback Library): Farber wrote �The Student As Nigger,� for which we suppose he can be forgiven. In any case, this is much better. The title essay has something wise to say about the nature of education and the nature of utopia, as well. And �Growing Up Male In North America� is almost heart-rendingly sad, funny and true: jack-offs, fucks and sexist training from kindergarten to college. We approached Tomorrowland cynically, went away feeling like we�d stumbled onto something important.

APPLE TO THE CORE - Peter McCabe and Robert D. Schonfeld (Pocket Books): A sharply written history of the decline and fall of the Beatles. Vituperative slams at Allan Klein, who can�t be that bad, mar what is otherwise an essentially fair and fairly impartial look at the Beatles as money magnates, not pop stars. Cynical when it needs to be, and well worth reading with an equally jaundiced eye.