George Who For Veep

George Who For Veep

The remarkable spectacle of Tom Who being reduced to running for Vice Presidency on the remarkable assertion that he was not insane was prefigured with prophetic accuracy by, of all people, the Firesign Theatre. These strange men made their spontaneous anterior vision on March 30, 1972 at the Martian Space Party, a benefit for Pacifica's listener supported radio station, KPFK, in Los Angeles. At that time George Pappoon of the Nat'l Surrealist Light People's Party declared himself candidate for Resident of the United States (“If elected, I promise to stay ”) and announced his campaign motto:

PAPOON FOR PRESIDENT - NOT INSANE

His platform? “Six inches off the ground, so no one will get hurt if they fall off."

Papoon is against bussing. “Particularly high-speed bussing.'' He says, It's better to be in the back of a bus than in front of a bus. "

His position on legalization of marijuana is, “let's smoke some, then we'll talk about the law."

He is a strong believer in the concept of “one organism, one vote": “There are over 180 billion aphids, slugs, flies and mosquitos in Northern California alone who, under current registration procedures, are disenfranchised. ''Many of Papoon's campaign appearances have been before audiences composed exclusively of organisms.

“One man, two votes," says Papoon, who, though Not Insane himself, recognizes that a substantial portion of the electorate is composed of schizophrenics.

“One man, one channel," he insists: “Everyone has the right to be seen, at least by himself.''

“Amnesty and amnesia, though not necessarily in that order." says candidate Papoon. ‘We may just have to forget about the war before we can forgive people for having refused to fight in it."

In the wake of the Tom Who disclosures, I asked Firesign Theatre Member Phil Proctor, who is closest to Papoon, whether Papoon had ever sought psychiatric care. “He can't remember," said Proctor.

Does the N.S. L. P.P. standard-bearer have any skeletons in his closet? “Yes he does,'' said Proctor, “but only those of friends and relatives. George Papoon does not believe in cemeteries."

Has Papoon ever been cited for drunken or reckless driving? “No," said Proctor, “because he doesn ’t have a car. George travels around in a red flyer wagon. "

Proctor explains that he first became acquainted with Papoon six months ago. George wrote to Firesign Theatre character DR. Beanbag, a regular on “Dear Friends, Let's Eat," the Firesign radio show on KPFK. “Dr. Beanbag came out of my reading the transcript of the Jack Ruby trial in an anthology of sources in forensic psychiatry for lawyers. All the argument about whether or not Ruby was or was not insane was couched in high-falutin' medical terminology, but suddenly I realized that underlying all that seemingly powerful language was simply various people's opinions about whether or not they thought somebody's personality was bizarre. So we invented Dr. Beanbag as a psychiatrist who people could write in to, telling about symptoms that made them think they were mentally disturbed, and who in every case would somehow rationalize their insanity and tell them that their behavior was perfectly sensible given the circumstances. One of the letters Dr. Beanbag received was from one George Papoon, who signed it “Not Insane. ” Papoon was experiencing the symptoms of narcolepsy — including forgetfulness, confabulation, robot behavior — and was so afraid his family would find out that he wrote Dr. Beanbag in invisible ink in the dark."

“Later we got to talking about the Presidential elections and decided that the majority of the electorate is bananas and that only a candidate who was willing to declare himself Not Insane would be able to gauge the extent of that insanity and rationalize it to people. " Proctor and his friends were able to prevail upon Papoon to throw his hat in the ring, to coin a phrase.

Perhaps the most innovative aspect of his campaign, according to Proctor, is that Papoon never shows his face in public. “He's not just running for President — he's running for his life. So when he's out stumping, he always wears a mask, and alters his voice — and at any one time there are always several masked individuals on the hustings — that way there's no way for a potential assassin to be sure that the particular Papoon he's trailing is the actual target. "

I asked Proctor how Papoon felt about the Tom Who debacle. “Well, I can't speak for George, but in my opinion Eagleton's mistake was that he had decided he was insane in 1960, 1964 and 1966, so he was defensive about the fact that he had experienced depression. I think he could have learned something from Papoon — that all things considered, it was not insane for him to have been insane at those times."

Craig Karpel