Art Is Cheese Made Visible

CAST:

Phil Austin ....P.A.

Phil Proctor . P.P.

Peter Bergman . P.B.

David Ossman. D.O.

and introducing

SIDE ONE the Chorus

Overture

P.P.: It’s midnight in Metropolis!

D.O.: It’s noon in Gotham!

P.A.: It’s 8:09 in Duckburg and —

P.B.: IT’S HOURS SINCE WE ATE, SO . . .

CHORUS; LET’S EAT!!

P.B.: YES! YES! LET’S EAT!, THE ALL-PEOPLE’S NEW SIMPLIFIED COMPLICATED FIRESIGN THEATRE RADIO SHOW P.P.: and Afro-Japanese comedy hour,

P.A.: with coach Hilario Gump and the Tri-City Thumping Band, the pretty singing voice of the Lame Sisters,

P.B.: AND, DIRECT REMOTE FROM THE MYSTIC SNATCHUARY, THE PRESIDENT’S ENTHUSIASM CHORUS.

D.O.: And now, while the FCC sweeps the band, we’ll observe the traditional 15 secomis of radio memorial silence . . .

P.B.: WE’VE NEVER SEEN OURSELVES AS COMEDIANS. WE INCLUDE EVERYTHING THAT’S MOST SERIOUSLY SECRET IN OUR LIVES AS SOON AS WE FIND OUT ABOUT IT. THE MINUTE WE PUT IN SOMETHING THAT WAS SECRET AND SERIOUS WE MADE IT FUNNY, SO NO ONE COULD COME ALONG SAYING, “WELL, THE FIRESIGN THEATRE THINK CERTAIN THINGS ARE FUNNY, BUT HERE ARE THINGS THEY CONSIDER YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT.” WE MAKE JOKES ABOUT EVERYTHING.