MAIL

MAIL

Dear CREEM:

A reasonable explanation as to why a rock publication of the calibre of CREEM would have to resort to printing letters by a hysterical schizzy like Barbara-Julian, and waste all that valuable space, escapes me. Can you really be THAT desperate for print?

Susan Keyes

(No return address)

Dear CREEM:

I just read Robert Christgau’s review of the shrink wrapping of the live Chicago album. I want you to know I can only give him a C-. Sorry.

Keepa knockin’

Andy Shernoff

New Paltz, N.Y.

Dear CREEM:

I seldom get pissed off enough to write letters to magazines; I’m usually content to read the ravings of others in the letters department, but after reading the review of Muswell Hillbillies in your February issue, I became enraged. Fuck you, Dave Marsh! Who the fuck do you think you are! You must be a fuckin’ asshole! Maybe you couldn’t find any redeeming value in this Kinks album, but then you didn’t listen to it, either to maybe you got shit in yopr ears. Your half-ass, so-called review didn’t review the damn record anyway. Same thing with your review of the Who’s MBB&B album. I admit a lot was missing, but the purpose Of a review is to review what is there, not bitch about what’s not. Then you ehd both “reviews” with a first name appeal to Ray Davies and Pete Townshend! Shit! You wouldn’t make a pimple on their asses.

Well, I’ll sign off now. Pleeze print this letter because I spent 8^ for the stamp.

Thank you

Lenny Flitz

Hometown (yes, Hometown) Pa.

P.S. The Kinks are great; please fire Dave Marsh and let Lester Bangs write all reviews

Dear CREEM:

Just caught up with you three issues ago. Good indeed. Much better than Rolling Stone on the music, though their sociological things are unbeatable. Thanks for keeping your mag open to the readers.

Dave Marsh was a little harsh on the Beach Boys doncha think? But nice cannibals for readers. \

Ken Kistler

Clinton Comers, N.Y.

Dear CREEM:

I’d like to address this to Andy Shernoff and his letter in the February issue: New Paltz is too fine a place to lose out with your cute way of phrasing your opinion of one band. It is beside the point that I think the Dead are on top of the music scene. Like, are you the voice of New Paltz? There are plenty of fine' people in New Paltz. I’m sure some of them believe the Grateful Dead are alive. Besides, either “Calypso Joe and the Sparrows” got the greatest plastic face jobs in history or you are full of shit.

I’ll just rock on.

. Ricky Shultz

Boulder, Co.

DON'T ZAP ZAPPA

Dear CREEM:

Excellent. Excellent. Those are the only words I can use to describe Rick Bolsom’s article on Zappa’s 200 Motels. He is definitely right about not catching all the meaning out of one viewing of the film, it definitely should be seen at least twice. I saw it for the second time myself, yesterday, and saw and heard many things I didn’t catch the first time around.

But it amazes me how mostly everyone is tearing the shit out of Zappa now. It seems Bolsom was the only reviewer (out of at least 10 I’ve read) who actually knew what the film’s all about and what it tries to put across.

And while we’re on the subject of people cutting down Zappa, in the very same issue, (Feb.) Ed Ward makes a very piss poor attempt to review the 200 Motels soundtrack album. I really find it ridiculous that anyone would try to review this album without reviewing the picture. But then I guess it wasn’t an album review at all. Mr. Ward vainly attempts to psychoanalyze Zappa and fails terribly.

Ah well, I guess we take the good with the bad. Anyway, I think your magazine is improving with every issue. Keep up the good work.

Tom Hock

Sterling Heights, MI.

AN OPEN LETTER FROM JOHN AND YOKO

Our song, “The Luck of the Irish” stirred up a lot of people in England; we’re glad it has caused the English people to discuss what’s going on there. All profits from the record will go to the Civil Rights Movement in Ireland.

Of course we sympathize with soldiers who are killed or wounded, anywhere, as we feel for the American soldiers forced to fight in Vietnam, but our deepest sympathies must surely go to the victims of British and Amerikan Imperialism.

Our song says, “blame it all on the kids and the I.R.A.,” which means, let’s not kid ourselves that the cause of the troubles in Ireland is the fault of the Irish people themselves, whether they be children, religious freaks or the I.R.A. The real cause of the problem is British Imperialism and, as the song says: “Why the hell are the English there anyway?”

Blaming the problems of Northern Ireland on the I.R.A. is like blaming Vietnam’s problems on the N.L.F. Some British politicians say the policy of the I.R.A. is to goad the security forces into going “beserk,” firing „ blindly, etc. How “beserk” do thiey think the Catholic minority feel — especially with everybody knowing how unjustly they’ve been treated?

The idea of asking a third of a population to vote to join the majority is insane. If there is to be any referendum, it must be by the whole of Ireland, North and South, voting on its own future. Most of the so-called “Northern Irish Majority” are of Scotish and English descent — people who were sent to Northern Ireland to “colonize” and “anglosize” in the 19th century. Does anyone really think those ‘bastard Irish’ are ever going to give up their power over the native Catholic Irish, vote or no vote?

If the Northern Protestants so desperately want to be British, let them be repatriated back to Britain, in exactly the same way suggested by Enoch Powell, (Member of the British Parliament) for the Blacks, Pakistanis, etc., to be repatriated out of England, and back to their homeland. If you want to be British then move to Britain, but leave Ireland to the Irish ...

We ask the U.N. to help in this tragic affair, as soon as possible, because, as usual, it is the working class that gets massacred. We also ask for the American Irish to wake up to their responsibility in the same way the Jewish people respond to the problems of Israel.

Sincerely,

John and Yoko Ono Lennon

Dear CREEM:

B.J. Thomas doesn’t play drums for Procol Harum.

G.M.C.

Richmond, Va.

(He should — Ed.)

KIDS KOUNTER KINK KRITICISM

Dear CREEM:

You call that piece of shit on Muswetl Hillbillies a review? Looks like yet another chapter in Dave’s personal crusade for Better and Faster Rock. But why let him at albums like this? To spite Fusion?

And if Ray Davies is the “Toynbee of the counter-culture,” than Dave Marsh is the Ralph Gleason of the counter-counter-culture.

Sour grapes,

Dick Johnspn

Macomb, Ill.

ZEP FANS HARANGUE BANGS

Dear CREEM:

To-Lester Bangs: Ever since somebody figured out that Black Sabbath, Grand Funk, Led Zep etc. were the new rock & roll a lot of critics have been changing colors. Not crayons. I distinctly remember you, Mr. Bangs, giving Led Zep Three a very negative review in Rolling Stone. And now in this latest issue, your review of it is positive. This could be misconstrued as a case of not realizing the wonderfullness of an album with the first listen.! But is it, Lester? Who wants to be a Hodad? Not me either. I always want to be “With it,” not just you Lester, everybody’s doing it. Also in a review of Blue Cheer you said their first two albums were something like “ugly speed rock.” Outsideinside by Blue Cheer is one of the best, raunchiest, raucous, realized, redundant (threw that in to look good) yet perturbingly beautiful discs that ever waked a youngster’s mind. It still wakes mine, so now it’s groovy to like Grand Funk even if you don’t just like it was groovy to hate ’em when you didn’t. Trends are fun too. Yet we lovers of Rock & Roll know the music is the most important thing. It’s no fun to be a snob either. Actually, Lester, I like your writing and in the past few years you’ve turned me on to lots of good records. I consider you pretty reliable. But I wouldn’t want anybody to consider me reliable. Just old folks are reliable. “Good old Lester.”

Peace my brother,

Kirk Juffer

Decorah, Iowa

(P.S. If you ever want advice on record reviews you can write me. Also you should print this and let the truth be known. You can have equal time.)

Dearest CREEM:

You must really consider your record reviews top notch by warranting the names of groups put on your cover; those two were a little longer than most but they’re still just record reviews whereas most other magazines would only do that if they had an interview with them or just an article on them. But of course both of those reviews were by Lester Bangs (the records, in Chicago’s poor dissection; they will probably never be able to sell another record), which I guess deserves special attention, what with a name like Lester Bangs he needs it. Of course Lester didn’t like them but then neither does Spiro Agnew so he could have just as well of written the reviews and I bet his writers could have come up with just as many “jive-ass macho” phrases, after all he did say “effete corps of impudent snobs” first.

To go to that extent to put Zeppelin down is useless because they’re such a “Mighty War Machine” that anybody who’s reading this magazine knows quite well what they sound like and their musical tastes have long ago been set to their “relatively limited style” as to whether they like them or not. And oh yes, Zeppelin does not lift songs from old Small Faces they-lift songs from old blues singers, it’s just that the Faces lifted the same song and besides I am sure a good ole Lester has lifted a little ink to help his “crass gun.”

In Chicago’s case your reviews are just as unoriginal in the use of the form, reeking of the ricorsic (sic) saga of Nick Tosches, serving the needs of your “in” society, trying to act like the hip underground for that new CREEM hip underground look, (Greil Marcus wrote a very good piece) and without a trace of originality as what you say of the whole Chicago Package.

Why waste the effort -and space to cut major groups like that, the reviews are not tremendously clever or funny or whatever and I really doubt if you’ll be able to change anybody’s mind. You should write more constructive reviews of smaller name artists so they can get a decent chance and then if they make it big they’ll send you a million dollars for helping them “make it.” And then if they don’t send you the donation you can cut the shit out of them but don’t say that’s why you cut Chicago and Zeppelin because you’ve never run a good review on them in your life.

Continued on page 80.

Continued from page 8.

Tom Shepard

Lisle, 111.

(Although we don’t always understand what Lester is talking about either, we were pretty sure that Zeppelin review was entirely favorable. When we woke him up at his typewriter and read him your letter he said that although he admires Mr. Agnew he would rather have LBJ writing for CREEM, and that he has indeed “lifted a little ink, ” in fact most of his stuff is plagiarised from his famous writerancestor, John Kendrick Bangs, author of Bikey the Skycycle. CREEM has never gone out of its way to be “hip" or “underground,” but we have consistently made the attempt to get in “constructive reviews of smaller name artists” wherever they were deserved. See, in fact, Lester’s review of Sir Lord Baltimore and Dust in the December issue, or Dave Marsh’s piece on the Wackers and Crabby Appleton in the January. The tune Zep are accused of lifting from the Faces incidentally is “Whole Lotta Love, ” which the Faces did on their first [British only] album as “You Need Lovin’ ” and has little to do with anyone’s blues. And, seriously, what does “ricorsic” mean? — Ed.)

Dear CREEM:

Right on! Bullshit. Your article on Dylan stunk. The only good thing about it was the pictures. I would suggest that you learn something or everything about what you criticize. Read what Alexander Pope said about critics then start thinking. You made it sound as if Don McLean is talking about Dylan, why don’t you listen to a song and take it as it is, instead of imagining things. You talk of Self Portrait as Dylan trying to reach out to Lawrence Welkish people. Bullshit. Self Portrait is exactly what it says, it is a self portrait of BOB DYLAN by BOB DYLAN. If you don’t believe what he says himself who do you believe, yourself? I think Dylan knows more about Dylan than anyone else. Dylan wrote a line for people like you, “Everything I say, you can say it just as good. I am right from my side and you are right from yours. We’re both one too many mornings and a thousand miles behind.” You also place hope on Dylan coming back to write more songs like he wrote before 1967. Dylan will sing what he wants when he wants. He threw out “George Jackson” when he thought it was time. You also claim that Dylan cannot possess an audience right now as he used to. I seem to remember the people at the Harrison Concert in August going crazy over him before he even played a note. For all they knew he could have stepped up there and played “Blue Moon.” But he didn’t. If you also would like to talk about “Like a Rolling Stone,” you should also listen to that over again. It is about people like you. It was written for all the people who didn’t like Dylan playing electric. They loved him so much when he played acoustic but then he did something he wanted and not what the people wanted.

About “Watching the River Flow” tne first line explains it. “What’s the matter with me/I don’t have much to say.” That’s exactly how Dylan feels, he ain’t got much to say. I won’t bitch any longer.

Steve Sacowitz

Mt. Pleasant, Mich.

Dear CREEM:

I’d like to introduce myself as your newest and most satisfied fan. I got drafted into Uncle Sam’s Mickey Mouse Club last March, and until today had never even heard of CREEM. You have one helluva great mag! I just finished reading your Dec. issue and I was flabbergasted! I happened to be zapped when I read “A Who Primer.” That helped toward my appreciation of the article. I thought it was fan-fucking-tastic!

If it’s o.k., print this letter, so that I can let some other readers know my name and address. (“We G.I.’s away from home always dig mail!”)

PFC Jack I. Houser

HQ Det. PAIC Box 1

Ft. Amador, Panama Canal Zone

Wanna Get Rich?

Ifs within the realm of possibility, and we don’t even require a high school diploma. Just you, your ideas and your energy;

Be aCREEM sales rep in your school, gang, dormitory, office, platoon, sewing circle, church group, cell block... whatever. Even if all you’ve got is a few weird friends, this opportunity could brighten your financial picture considerably.

Att you have to do is get in touch with us, and we’ll supply you with all the details. Send a postcard to:

Connie Warren

CREEM Magazine

P.O. Box 202

Walled Lake, MI 48088

HOW SERIOUS IS THIS LETTER?

Dear CREEM:

I’ve had it up to here with you so-called rock writers. Some journalists! You’re pretty sorry when you can’t even make the proper distinction between an object and a person. Example: You refer to “Mylon” as a person when most anyone can tell you that “Mylon” is an exterior masonry paint available in pinefrost green and seashore gray at your local Sherwin Williams. Get on the ball fellows! Jonas Jones Malvern Ark..

(Yeah, but do Clive Davis and Jerry Wexler know it? — Ed.)

Dear CREEM

The first issue of my subscription was full of good stuff. I dug Bangs’ pieces on Crabby and Little Richard, and even the Procol Harum feature (they are hardly a high-energy favorite). But I was bitterly disappointed to find that Richard Meltzer’s position as a published rock critic was sufficient to land him two whole pages in which to hype his fucking Blue Oyster Cult. This bunch of no-talents bummed out a lot of people at the ByrdsMayavishnu Orchestra concert at University of Vermont in December. I’ve grooved with Meltzer, heavy metal, and a good dance beat for years, but his latest discovery Jias absolutely nothing to offer — vocally, instrumentally or lyrically. And what really hurts is Meltzer’s revelation that he write the lyrics. That makes him not only a piss-poor songwriter but an opportunist as well, for hyping a band in whose success he has a personal stake, financial or otherwise. It just ain’t fair, not after I spent their set that night in a dejected squat on the concrete floor of the gym lobby, miserably sweating it out under the cruel glare of neon lights and menacing hired cops. Did anybody else, in your office bother to hear this group, live or on wax, before unleashing Meltzer on an unsuspecting (i.e., trusting) readership? Maybe R.M. and the rest of you pros have been spoiled by too many complimentary tickets and backstage passes. Have you forgotten what it feels like to be cheated and jived by a band on stage? Come on out front with the rest of us proles and mingle, just to keep yourselves honest. That goes for the musicians too.

Well, keep it up and get out from behind Blue Oyster Cult before they shit on you.

Andrew Schwartz

Middlebury, Vt.

(Yes, several of us had seen the band in advance of the article; we liked ’em. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned about conflict of interest though... sorry. —Ed)

Dear CREEM:

I got this coupon where I could get a free copy of CREEM. The box I checked read: Not Convinced. And I’m not, yet.

I’m gonna start by saying who the fuck is this reader Jim Marshall. Well, Jim, CREEM reviewers were fucked up way before Rolling Stone’s were. I’m not letting anyone talk about the Stone that way!

Now, who the hell is Rob Houghton to speak of Traffic, namely Steve Winwood, the way he did. “Yed indeed! Little Stevie is omigosh playing each and Every Single Instrument on that song!” What! Is Winwood shittie (sic) enough for the late Jimi Hendrix to play organ and vibes on his albums? Or is Jerry Garcia another stupid ass for saying: “Traffic’s good, Stevie Winwood’s great.” You see that in part two of Rolling Stone’s Garcia interview. Don’t forget Jerry plays every instrument on his album, too!

“Let’s help get groups like Traffic off their asses and back to work.” I’ve had enough of Houghton’s dumb-shit quotes! Well, here’s one of mine: “Why don’t you get off your balls and stop reviewing like SHIT!”

Jeff Kersting St. Louis, Mo,

Dear CREEM:

Dave Marsh, this letter is for you:

The reason why CREEM, after approximately one year on the newsstands, remains an essentially second-rate magazine is the total lack of consistent approach to their material. CREEM expresses less about music (or News, Poetry, etc.) than it does about the frustrations and harbored resentment of the critics who make up the editorial staff.

Resentment seems to say it best: resentment for the success of Rolling Stone (see if you can find the slurs (“simpering pap” for christ sake?) that run through your magazine in any early Rolling Stone.) Your total lack of professionalism brings you off as pompous and irrelevant when compared with the general level of the journalism of RS in their first year.

CREEM seems to have dealt itself the role of spokesman for something it calls Third Generation rock (what a joke) and the mindless faces that generally appear at concerts by Grand Funk, Black Sabbath, Cactus, Uriah Heep ad nauseum. I heard that Ted Nugent dropped his pants last night for a St. Louis audience to see an individual who has little else to attract attention. Detroit?? Give me a break, man.

Like Dave Marsh, I have no technical background knowledge of the music. But I do understand some of the basic principles of music and one of them is dynamics. The first 30 measures of “Dark Star” by the Grateful Dead represent rock music in a way that the boring, repetitive shlock listed ^ibove (monthly in CREEM!!!) never could. I have heard the long solos, heard these groups ruin good songs and I wonder how such thin creativity and so little imaginatioh could get you off.

That it seems to get off many thousands of other people is no mean feat. Heavy bubblegum describes it best. Shlock rock has always dominated the field, probably always will. 90% of everything is shit (Sturgeon’s Law). The exterior has changed — nothing more. You do not confine your lack of critical listening ability to rock, but you assume the role of a knowledgable blues authority and make statements totally unsupportable about Ko Ko Taylor’s record. It’s Dixon’s album and just ask any bluesman where Dixon is at and you’ll find out why this record sucks.

Since CREEM shows no signs of recognizing anything outside the narrow limits of the heavy-jams-bro’-and sister jive I can only assume that the minds/taste of its staff is expressed in the content. I require more variety in life than this. Dave Marsh should be made to listen to Paul Siebel to discover that subtlety, not excess, is what it’s all about. To judge by the two cuts I’ve heard, Jackie Lomax’ forthcoming album will be my kind of rock album — his last lp is one of the best of’71 tho unrecognized.

Robert Schoenfeld St. Charles, Mo.

(As almost all Dave’s friends have noticed, he looks almost exactly like Jackie Lomax. -Ed.)

Dear CREEM:

Your constant criticism of John Baldry is getting downright depressing. Don’t you guys realize he’s the Andy Williams of rock?

Jonh Ingham Saugus, Ca.