The Hare Krishna Look

For the past three or four years, marketing experts in major corporations have established a consistent pattern of taking quality make-shift ideas out of “youth-culture,” dressing them up, mass producing and distributing them with low ideals and high price tags. Bell-bottoms, leather clothes, head bands, long hair (wigs), and peace symbols can all be MasterCharged in suburban Shopping centers; there’s no need to mess with idle freaks while trying to emulate them. The individuals who come up with these concepts are usually titled “assistant vice-president in charge of youth marketing,” but they’re better known as “house freaks.” During the first week in April there was a “house freaks” conference, of sorts, in Nogales, Sonora, a Mexican border town across from Arizona. After three days of getting ripped on tequila, sleeping with Mexican whores found on Canal street, and getting burned trying to buy $40 kilos on expense accounts, they set about their business.

Each of them admitted that their individual items were doing well, but the recessive economy demanded they co-operate to some degree to re-inforce each other’s product sales potential (or ‘PSP’ as it’s called m the trade). Their last effort to “keep up with the action,’ bandolier cross-chest belts — the guerilla look — was only mildly successful. They half-heartedly hoped the Justice Department would try to stop the bandolier production or advertising on the grounds it materially aided violent revolutionaries, but no such luck. Even that gimmick didn’t materialize.

A new cross-corporation idea would be tried: a “concept look.” They would find one well-known “youth idea,” and build a whole line of material products around it — goods which existed in numerous forms already, but which needed a new identity every so often. The whole deal was to be displayed all at onOe as a total concept package. The idea they chose would surprise and shock the whple trade and youth market: The Hare Krishna Look.

From head to toenail, the entire package will have something to offer. There will be a band, a dance, and all the rest of the schlock which goes with mass marketing a simple idea stolen by capitalists.

Starting with the shoes, the decision was made to imitate genuine Hare Krishna freaks by using plain old sneakers. Red Ball, a major tennis-shoe maker is handling this. The sneakers will look old and tattered with holes in the big toe position. They will be custom-made for shuffling back and forth from foot to foot for hours on end. An old ad the company used a few years back will be resurrected: “Red Ball Jets make you run your fastest and jump your highest.”

Naturally, the most important part of the costume is the robe, or “Honest Man’s Toga,” as Levi-Strauss will call them when they hit the racks. The cotton robes will be made with Zafaran, a synthetic saffron being finalized now by Dupont. Zafaran, a trademark copyrighted by Dupont, is the Arabic word from which ‘saffron’ emanates. A major advantage of the robe is that it can be marketed as both a men’s and women’s item with no change in production assembly.

The Hare Krishna Look for the head will be designed by Hare Tail, Inc,, a corporate spinoff of Ford Enterprises, which in itself is a tax-loss subsidiary of Ford Motor Company of Dearborn, Michigan. Hare Tail, Inc. will mass produce wigs with a cute 14” ponytail for people who aren’t quite ready for a natural.

Straight Arrow Publishers, a west coast outfit, is negotiating controlling interest in the Krishna Consciousness magazine, Back to Godhead. The name and. content will remain the same, but the format, style and distribution procedure will change considerably. /

Facial design by Revlon, of course. This will include a plain pancake make-up with matching nail polish (two varieties: “humble clear” and “at, one”). The company that manufactures the $2.98 Sears Peace Medallion currently is completing an earing mold for the Hare Krishna nose and ear. It will be available through the mail or over the counter at Discount Records stores. Gillette is finishing a spray which will give eyes that haunted, empty burned-out look of purity. It will come in “regular” and “new morning.” And for status seekers who want the complete look, Zildjian has come up with finger cymbals to be marketed at under $10 a set.

During the month of June, Dunkin’. Donuts will be test marketing a new cookie called “Krishna Krunchies,” which resenibles the food the street corner Krishna heads pass out. Baskin-Robbins will add a new flavor, “Hare Cherry.”

No total concept package does well without its own self generated publicity^ arid here’s where Buddah is putting together some studio musicians in much the same tradition as the Archies to be known simply as “Hare.” Their first album, “Back tp Godhead,” is scheduled for a June 5 release. Buddah has already packaged the second record, although it has yet to be recorded. Tentative title: “Hare Goes Electric.” Liner notes for the first record will have dance instructions, like old Chubby Checker LPs. They will teach the art of standing ori the sidewalk doing the two-step hop made famous by Hare Krishna freaks around the country. Melanie* who is under contract to Buddah, has seen the advance layouts on "the Hare Krishna Look and is toying with the idea of adopting it for her act.

Although it will probably be the most celebrated “new look” in the youthschlock market, the Hare Krishna Look has been virtually blotted out of print. Women's Wear Daily killed a story three weeks ago on it when they got too many conflicting reports and feared lawsuits. Newsweek wrote it off as a Paul Krassner hoax. Rags, along with Earth News, a sort of hip UPI newsfeature syndicate, were never sure whether to take it seriously or not, and didn’t want to be caught wiih their petti-pants down. The LA Free Press did have a scoop on it a month ago, but cut it when two half-page ads came in at the last n>inute, one for Elton John and the other for “The Stewardesses,” a 3-D skinflick.

The saturation campaign begins July 4. Buddah Records has reserved a charter plane from American Airlines for 17*5 extras from LA area central-casting offices dressed as Hare Krishna freaks; it is tentatively scheduled to fly to Boston, where at noon, July four, the extras will join the regular half dozen Krishna heads at their usual downtown spot on the Boston Common at the exit to the Park street MTA station. Here the taping for a 15 minute segment on American Bandstand will take place, and the full regalia for the Hare Krishna Look will be unvaried for the public and press.

The idea of exploiting Krishna Consciousness with its ultimate simplicity is just another ludicrous expositon of capitalist impulses in marketing. It’s almost as scary as the interest expressed by the makers of the beachblanket and biker flicks, American International Pictures.