the mouth

the mouth

Hold the bus!

Man, am I wiped out! I mean it’s hard enough sitting here trying to get your sht together when the lines on the paper keep moving and the last thing you wrote was a term paper on the sex life of algae in your pre drop-out days. If I didn’t have a chart of the alphabet in front of me, I’d be in a hell of a lot of trouble right now.

“I've had a lot of good times with that finger,” Ringo Starr 1966.

If the Maharishi Reay deems it shall he, this column will be devoted to the persuit and difussion of good Ol’, down home, all American, kick out the jams type gossip. Yes my friend, I said gossip, everything spreadable by word of mouth from groovy, fab, gear, out of sight teen happenings. (Davy Jones ( is pregnant), to down right dirty filthy, malicious, smut (Elvis'beats his" wife). Note; (anyone 13 or younger must obtain parents permission before continuing. So v.... on with the show, t1 ,

What the iiell is going on at the Grande? Uncle (arid I use the term loosly) Rus^s psyeadelic (?) pleasure palace forl'movitt^ arid “gf6ovihi~ middle class teens is deteriorating rapidly. I can handle the bummer crowd, the qutrageous prices and the kind, curteous, trustworthy Grande staff; please Unc, turn on some god damn lights in there. Last week it was so dark that I walked into 3 walls, tried to pick up a couple of guys (by accident of course) and just barely missed the Grande Grand Slalom Award by one step when I gracefully fell down 47 stairs in rapid succession. Surely a man who drives a T-Bird can afford a few pennies for some measly killowatts. (The official word from the classroom of Russ Gibb, known, as mild mannered Uncle Russ and his alter ego,, today was that all the cops from the Grande will henceforth carry candles on their rounds,.)

On the otherhand_

Give the Unc a big fat kiss (and a hug to the Jeeper) for the fine array of talent they have presented within . the last few itionths such as:' Procol, Spirit (yeah|!,. Fleetwood Mai;' Terry Ried, and Led Zepplan. At least somebbdys trying to make the Grande a place worth coming to hear something, instead of a playground fora Clearasil Convention.

.the sermon over, a hush fell

over the crowd as little Fred guided the tiny golden wheel chair toward the plate_ -

And now sports fans we move into what I call, for lack of anything better,

THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF POP (apologies to Walt Disney) ,,

It is fairly common knowledge by now that ex-Cream members Eric Clapton and Ginger Baker have formed a group with ex-Traffic member $tevie Winwood and are now in the studio. It is not well known however that the remaining ex-Creamer Jack Bruce, is forming a group with brilliant jazz guitarist Larry Coryell formerly of the Gary Burton quartet.

John Mayall is alive and well in Miami, so I’m told by someone who should know.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do Department This whole scene is getting entirely out of hand. The list of splits continues to grow this month as the Small Faces, a group loved unabashedly Iby all those who are hip to them, have called it quits and it is rumored that the Procol Hamm will bid fond adius within the near future. The demise of many extremely talented and creative groups within the last few months leads me to one conclusion, we don’t listen. It is only after these groups are gone that we suddenly appreciate them. What the hell, what you never hear, you never miss. Listen, people, listen__! ‘Nuff said

What I can’t figure out is, is Jeff Beck going with Rod Stewart or visa versa? (if you know don’t tell me, tell Jeff).-

Watch for.. two new English groups called Groundhog and White Trash who are currently ripping up the british Pop scene. White Trash - record for Apple and are havipg trorible getting air play from many stations who find their name offensive. What a bunch of crap!

When it conies to being offensive however we’ve got theEnglish beat by a mile. Seems our one and only JiniMorrisonof the Doors got buSted ‘ for indecent exposure again and has a private fan club of Feds looking for him, and believe me they don’t want lus autograph. He really outdid himself this time, he made the MC5 look like the Rebecca of* Sunny Brook Farms Revival Band. It’s not, how long you make it, Jimmy boy, it ’show and where you^nake it long.

Graham | Nash (ex-Hollie), Stephen Stills' (ex-Buffalo Springfield), Dave Crosby (ex-Byrd), and Dallas Taylor (ex-Clear Light) are gettirig it together after a million and one contract hasals. It should be qne of the finest things to come along for quite some time. *

It looks like Apple might have laid an egg. The. Beatles announced . that unless things shape up fast, • Apple will cease to exist. The reason!. Acute pain jn the lower left pocketbook, and also loss of money. Financial success or not, Apple did succeed in exposing good talent such as Jackie Lomax, Mary Hopkins, James Taylor, arid White Trash. And just plain exposing John and Yoko.

Jimmy Page is incredible! (too bad the rest of the Zepplan isn’t)

And so is Terry Reid!

But what is Chubby Checker doing back? I thought he became a nun.

Not only did the young buxom pop star, Miss Jannis “Southern Comfort” Joplin bomb recently at an Ann Arbor concert, but she also reportedly lost her left boob somehwere in the vicinity of her dressing room. If you happen to see it around town, in the laundromat or the Chinese restaurant or something, please mail it back to Jannis. She misses it .

Was Fleetwood Mac original oldies but goodies medley really sincere?

And last, but certainly not least, it is rumored that Mick Jagger wants to tour the states as a single act. Brian Jones is so hungup legally and perhaps mentally that a Stones tour is out of'the question for quite a while, if ever. The Stones won’t replace the Blonde Bomber (as if they could) so chances are that if we see them at all, it wjlJJbe Mick going sold and considering the mans’ amazing talent it should be nothing short of incredible.' As a matter of fact, I had a bit all worked out for him and girlfriend Mary Ann

BIG BROTHER AND THE HOLDING COMPANY WITH JANIS JOPLIN

more on 11 ?

more MOUTH !

. Faithful:* Unfortunately we have laws in this country prohibiting such acts in public .j Oh fie on you cruel puritanical society! H^y Mick, you two can come over to my house and do it any old time.

Also watch for albino guitarist, Johnny Winters, Rolling Stones latest find. He has pink eyes. Far Out!

And now for those of you still reading this inspired effort (I never guaranteed it would be good did I?) lets get right down to it and switch our attention to our own beloved.

LOCUS FOCUS Oh Joy! Oh Rapture! Oh Polio! The second SRC album is out. And each and every one of you can have your very own copy by saving all your pennies and running down to your local record store where, if its not sold out, you will receive a package of creativity, superb musicianship, and dynamic power equal to that of a pregnant ant. The cover vaguely resembles a poor imitation of the last Beach Boys album. Unfortunately gang the record inside is not quite up to par with ? and the Mysterians earlier work. Scott’s talking is much better on this album than the last one. Who knows, maybe he’ll even sing on the next one. The music behind Scotts recital just plain stinks. It is hard to single out any one member of the group as the worst, however, Gary Q. is a cinch to win “Musician Most Likely to be Forgotten this Year)” with brother Glenn not trailing far behind as his fingers slip and slide over the keyboard, creating a simply disgusting mess. Why continue this? They only have one more album to go before Capital can get out of their contract with them and boy, Capital can’t wait! SRC has to finish their third album before Capital lets them out on tour again. Little do they know that this tour consists of 2 solid weeks engagements on the Staten Island Ferry plus all they can eat. Hey, who likes flounder boys? Only one more to go, thank god.

Ho Hum, for the 850th time it has been rumored that those perrenial choir boys themselves, the Rationals, are breaking up, This is a vicious, cruel statement. Obviously started by some misguided groupie just breaking in her first training bra. The Rats break up? Are you kidding, those guys are married to each other. Why split up now, just when there on the verge of getting it together. Getting what together? Like I said, Ho hum.

Is it true that Jerry Patlow knows but he just won’t tell,?

Amboy Dukes have decreased their membership to 4 after Steve and Rusty refused to take anymore crap from Ted “the,hack” Nugent. I can understand how they feel, that Ted can be a' domineering fellow, just ask Bob Hankins, his manager. “Teds just a beasf sometimes”! says Bob. I’ve heard the* new group will feature Ted (who else") playing at his usual distasteful, unmusical best as well as singing. What a man!The new group 'Will be called the Ted Nugent Bqne: GoodP Luck fellas, and rememB^r *7he tariiiry "'That plays5 .together, stays together.

Mike Quatro~, formerty - of the Lawrence Welkshow, is very ill. He is ^suffering under the /delusion thaervoces at once. Se you on visiting day, Mike. You always looked gbod in stripes anyway.

Dick Wagner really the mystery man? Two at the same time, you better believe it baby!

The MC5 continued to create their usual furor and havoc out west as they find things a little harder than they thought they’d be. They recently got involved in a huge police, drunk out fiasco, brawl of which all accounts have been somewhat confused and jumbled. Anyways, I heard Fred punched opejf; of them out. He gets Golden Gloves of the Month award, plus two free .. tickets to the 9th annual Policemans ball. Make it on home soon boys. Things are awfully dull around here without you. And keep your left up Fred!

The fabulous Pack (remember that??) went to Boston, but no one kndws if they got there or not as no words has been heard from them since. That’s nice, Boston happened about a year ago. You’re a little late. I boys.

Rumor has it that Ramblhi’ Gamblin’ man Bob Seger receives pis inspiration frQm Ramsey Lewis album of Beatle songs. I’ve also heard that he sleeps with a picture of Liberace under his pillow.

Does A2 really exist or is it just a figment of the imagination. And if it does, how does it? Stoney, the qhick, of Wilson Mower fame was recently seen at the ; top deck of the Roostertail groovin’ with Bob Hankin and Lou Russell. Question is, whom is with whom?

\ The Time,pow defunct, had their smash single of this summer,Time of the Reason, released at last by the \ Zombies who now have a national number one hit with it. How come our local groups have such a knack for timing and just general all around luck. I know* somebody’s saving us as a surprise when the critics begin screaming rock is dead! Remember, this is Take A Local Rock Band to Dinner Week!

Finally-dear readers, my last quip is dedicated to the Third Power who have unanimously copped the bad hairs of the year awards for the strange daring and exotic growths upon their heads.

And as the sun sinks slowly in the west, we bid a fond farewell to this masterpiece of muckery with the thought in mind that if we can’t laugh at ourselves who can we laugh at. Until the next time I can get it together, remember: If you see a blue banana, cheer him up!

Love

Mud