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SILENT NIGHT, TROGLODYTE (OR CORPORATE METAL, YO MAMA)

The Doctor has decided: rock and roll needs a Ralph Nader to root out falsehoods in advertising, deceptive packaging and RAMPANT MISLEADING OF AMERICA'S YOUTH. What the Doctor is mewling about is the glut of records being released these days that are trying to cash in on the pop world's current infatuation with metal, while staying safe for democracy.

December 3, 1987
Dr. Rock

SILENT NIGHT, TROGLODYTE (OR CORPORATE METAL, YO MAMA)

Various Artists

DUDES

(SOUNDTRACK)

(MCA Records)

Virginia Wolf

PUSH

(Atlantic Records)

Skagarack

SKAGARACK

(MCA Records)

The Doctor has decided: rock and roll needs a Ralph Nader to root out falsehoods in advertising, deceptive packaging and RAMPANT MISLEADING OF AMERICA'S YOUTH. What the Doctor is mewling about is the glut of records being released these days that are trying to cash in on the pop world's current infatuation with metal, while staying safe for democracy. To do this, it may be necessary to institute a new criteria forjudging this stuff, like along with the sound and intelligibility, instituting something like an MQ, or a Metal Quotient. Y'know, something that measures velocity and crunch and whether you have to see the tailor after listening, so's he can take in your eardrums, 'cause they've been knocked all out of shape. Something to protect us all from the CORPORATE ABOMINATIONS masqueradingas metal. For my purposes, a scale from 0-10, with zero being Barry Manilow, and 10 being Led Zep quality.

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