CHAINMAIL

CHAINMAIL

CHAINMAIL is your forum...if you have any opinions, observations, secret knowledge or simply a godlike insight into metal, we’d love to hear from you. So, to become a force to be reckoned with in metal circles everywhere, send your letters to:

CHAINMAIL, CREEM Close-Ups, P.O. Box P-1064, Birmingham, Ml 48012

BASELESS ATTACK OF TRIUMVIRATE THREATENS STABILITY OF METAL ITSELF!

To: Jesse, Martin and Hal:

Where do you get off (and we do mean get off) calling Cinderella and Queensryche homosexuals? Put away your rosary beads, ’cause they’re not! We thought the whole point of your article was to rate the band’s albums, not to comment on how pudgy their lips are or whether or not they shop at transvestite boutiques. (Are you, by the way, advertising Hal’s favorite place to shop? Frederick’s of Hollywood?) We’ll bet he’s bought you some nice things there, eh Jesse? And hey! Hal and Jesse, you seem to be losing Martin. It’s obvious after reading the article that he’s truly infatuated with Geoff Tate. Better tighten the reins, guys.

The point is Cinderella and the Queensryche are truly happening bands. Being totally happening women ourselves, we cannot help but notice the God-like appearances of these rockers. However, this doesn’t affect the quality of their music. You “record-raters” are so lousy sizing up the bands’ appearance that you don’t even let the readers know just how great they sound. Cinderella and Queensryche have not produced anything less than intense. Our advice to you, next time you plan on rating a record: (1) Put a bag over your head so that you won’t be tempted to look at the pictures (this first step is especially beneficial to anyone who might be present), and (2) Remove the plastic wrap from the album (there is a free gift inside specially-marked Cinderella and Queensryche record jackets...an album!) Oh, don’t forget to plug in your stereo, ha!

Our condolences,

Christine of Battle Creek, Ml Currently in California with one of LA’s fallen angels, Christy.

P.S. To the Editor: Thank you for the articles and photos on Poison, Stryper and Dokken.

PLAUDITS TO TRIUMVIRATEWORSHIPPING REVIEWER!

What’s up, dudes? I’d just like to say Bravo! To Mark J. Norton on his reviews of Krokus and Accept. Because they both SUCK! I’ve never seen a bigger geek than Vale “Whatshisface,” and Mark Storace looks like he should be working at Tony’s Pizza.

I’m glad someone out there shares the same opinion that I do.

Thanks, Mark!

Patrick Shawn

Atlanta, GA

THRONG MEETS STRYPER IN TRUE-LIFE ADVENTURE

I’m writing in response to a letter in the October issue of your magazine. I have a few things to say to J.T. of New York. First of all, in my opinion, Stryper is one of the best bands in the world! They provide an inspirational side of heavy metal that is desperately needed. I love heavy metal. You can always find me thrashing away to something loud, but no concert has ever made me feel the way I did when I left Stryper. Stryper did two shows here in Atlanta and they were a welcome change. One invitation to talk with Stryper was extended to the audience but only about 10 of us waited. After the show, Oz Fox came out. We talked with him and he asked us to wait because the others were still in the shower. Tim, Michael and Robert soon joined us. They talked with us for about an hour. They were the nicest group of guys I’d ever met! They posed for photographs and signed autographs. Maybe New York didn’t welcome Stryper or treat them with the respect that they deserve! They have taken an awesome task upon themselves: To teach people that heavy metal doesn’t have to be Satanic to be good. I can still bang my head and feel good about it. Have you stopped to see what Stryper stands for, J.T.? Probably not. Stryper would not judge the way you do your job and unless you fully understand their message, don’t you dare criticize them! They’re great guys who do not deserve you badmouthing them. Just for the record, if you guys are reading this; hang in there! Come back soon, because Atlanta loves you!

A True Christian Rocker

Atlanta, GA

MORE REASONS WE’RE GREAT!

First, of all, I’d like to thank Peter Davis for his underground metal column. That’s one of the reasons why your magazine is the ultimate best metal mag! There is no other heavy metal magazine that I know of that supports the thrash bands. Second, I read the letter J.T. wrote in your October issue and I think ‘‘Christan rock” should en;f. Long live groups like: Venom, Exciter, Slayer, Cirith Ungol, Iron Maiden, Celtic Frost, Metallica, Judas Priest, Exodus, Ozzy, Possessed, King Diamond, Megadeth, Lizzy Borden, AC/DC and Dio. And most importantly, I have read stories about how Ratt and Motley Crue are recording their new albums and I think they suck! They shouldn’t do things like this, especially at a time like this, with the PMRC. No stations are playing heavy metal unless you’re lucky enough to receive that station in Chicago or KNAC in Long Beach. And less heavy metal on MTV. Imagine what kind of music Stryper would play if there weren’t born-again Christians! Black Metal! And they would be excellent! I heard about that night when they met with Motley Crue. That was funny. But I think both Stryper and Motley Crue should go to hell!

Mad Metal Raven

Reston, VI

COMPULSIVE BEING NEVER READS MAG,

STILL WRITES DAILY!

Well, I honestly have to say that you people (?) there at METAL have actually proved what BLATANT FOOLS THAT YOU REALLY ARE (NOT THAT YOU HAVE NOT DONE THAT IN THE PAST!!!!!!) BUT THIS IS THE CONCRETE PROOF!!!!!! After reading a friend’s copy of the October ’86 issue (I SURELY WOULD NOT WASTE GOOD MONEY TO BUY THIS SORT OF TRASH!!!!!!!), I was tempted to go collect every issue in the area that I could find and have a public burning!!!!!!! The ONLY reason that I didn’t was that it did have a very nice picture of Ronnie James Dio and Craig Goldie on the back cover!!!!! WHO HAS GRANTED THESE THREE IDIOTS, WHO HAVE THE AUDACITY TO CALL THEMSELVES “RECORD REVIEWERS,’’ PERMISSION TO SLANDER RONNIE JAMES DIO THE WAY THAT THEY DID IN THEIR SO CALLED REVIEW OF INTERMISSION????????? IT IS SUCH PERSONS AS THESE IMBECILES THAT REALLY GIVE THE PMRC REASON TO ATTACK ROCK ’N’ ROLL AND HEAVY METAL!!!! WHAT EXAMPLES OF MINDLESS OGRES ARE JESSE GRACE, MARTIN DIO & HAL JORDAN!!!!! I AM VERY GLAD THAT EVERYONE WHO IS A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE HARD ROCK/HEAVY METAL WORLD IS NOT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM LIKE THEM!!!!! It is really a miracle that you are not slapped in the face with a very large lawsuit because slander and blasphemy against a person’s character is against the law (I would not expect you to have the insight to know that, however!!!!!). It is really very hard to believe that any one of you are close friends with Ronnie, as you claim to be. Friends do not viciously attack each other as you do here. IT IS REALLY A PITY THAT ONE OF YOU HAS GONE SO FAR AS TO ACTUALLY CARRY THE HONORABLE NAME OF DIO BECAUSE YOU REALLY DO NOT DESERVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Intermission is an excellent album. The live cuts are engineered to show the intensity and magic of a live Dio performance. Angelo Arcuri is surely the most talented sound engineer in the business today!!!!!! As for the new song, “Time to Burn,” it’s a prime example of Ronnie’s talent not only as a singer but as a lyricist who writes with depth and emotion. It showcases the brilliant talent of new Dio guitarist, Craig Goldie who compliments the bands performance with his expertise. There are and have been no other bands in the genre of hard rock/heavy metal that equal Dio’s musical precision. Intermission is a great example of the fact that whether in studio or live, DIO ERUPTS WITH ALL THE SUBTLENESS OF A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION!!!!!!!

TURN TO PAGE 57

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5

Ronnie James Dio has been and will always remain a unique and multitalented individual. He has shown this time and time again throughout his successful career. His lyrics have meaning and deal with positive-minded topics. They are an inspiration not only for myself but his many other fans. RONNIE IS A VERY GENTLE, KIND AND LOVING MAN WHO DOES (NO MATTER WHAT YOU FOOLS AT METAL MAY THINK), HAVE FEELINGS!!!!!!!! He shows how much that he cares for his fans by taking the time to let them know it and producing the type of musical product that he knows that they will enjoy (not to mention a spectacular stage set with each tour!!!!!). Hear’N Aid was a gift and labor of love. Ronnie, Vivian Campbell and Jimmy Bain dared to do what no one else would do: put together a famine relief project with the top hard rock/heavy metal artists in the business to show the world that our music, performers and fans really DO GIVE A DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As far as his firing of Vivian Campbell goes, those things DO happen in the music business and often very quickly. Do you think that Ronnie is the ONLY person who has ever had to make this type of decision???? ACCORDING TO YOU MORONS AT METAL, HE IS SOME KIND OF DEMON BECAUSE HE MADE A BENEFICIAL DECISION DUE TO BUSINESS & PERSONAL DIFFERENCES WITH VIVIAN????? HOW VERY DENSE OF YOU TO EVEN DARE TO SPECULATE THAT THIS MAKES HIM, IN YOUR EYES, A REAL BASTARD!!!!! Business relationships more often than not have to be desolved for the benefit of all concerned.

I still give METAL the benefit of the doubt and look with each issue to see if your attitude has changed (OBVIOUSLY, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!!!!!!). For a magazine that usually prints aboveaverage photographs, you should hire people that know how to write and not demean people continuously, that would be to your advantage and probably increase your sales by 100 percent. PERHAPS, ONE DAY, YOU WILL LEARN THE TRUE MEANING OF HUMOR HAS NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH BEING INSULTING, DEGRADING AND OBNOXIOUS!!!!!!!! MAY THE MAGIC AND TALENT OF RONNIE JAMES DIO REMAIN FOREVER STRONG!!!!! RONNIE, JIMMY, CRAIG, CLAUDE AND VINNY...YOU’LL ALWAYS BE NUMBER ONE IN MY HEART AND SOUL... YOU’RE ALL MY “RAINBOW IN THE DARK”!!!!!!!!!!!

IN DIO WE ROCK!!!!!!

(A DIO ROCK’N ROLL CHILD

AND PROUD OF IT!!:!!!!!)

Rose A. Gordon

Falls Church, VI

DIO: TALENTLESS BUFFOON OR SHORT GUY?

Dear Rose Gordon:

Ronnie James Dio is a squat, no-talent, phallicless turdball! You, my dear lovesick beaver, lack the gray matter to fathom the farrago pile of sludge entertainment CREEM and METAL provide for the hungry headbangers. No! You’d rather express your lewd attraction and support this mawkish bruise than to admit you’re oblivious to the magazine’s style that is a cut (a small slice actually) above Tiger Beat\ I suppose the next time you have a titty-attack you’ll reveal that you have lusty desires for that greasy anthropoid bongo-boy, David Lee Roth! Or do your (yuk) tastebuds melt for that reptillian sodom god, Gene Simmons? I don’t wanna know! I don’t need to know! I know I speak for thousands when I ask if in the future you feel the need to voice your opinions to exclude your (yuk) personal views.

Sincerely,

Arlene (Aggie in Tears) Calienes

Brooklyn, N.Y.

P.S. I hope this is one of those rare issues you buy. Face it, Rose, he’s a bloody dewlap! If he worships the devil I’m not surprised. Oh, and Rose: Ronnie James Dio dreams of having a voice half as good as Klaus Meine! He’s probably working on the incantation right now. Heh-Heh!

AGREES WITH METAL’S OWN BILL HOLDSHIP!

I’m writing this letter in reply to Ida Langsam’s review of the Judas Priest/Dokken concert in your Oct. issue. I get the impression from the tone of Ms. Langsam’s article that she seems to feel that the bands are in competition. I thought they were on stage for the same reason: to kick ass!

Ms. Langsam is, of course, entitled to her own opinion, but her criticism of the Dokken half of the concert seemed rather petty.

First, there was her continual harping on their stage clothes, terming them dull and lackluster. While Dokken may not be as fashionable as Ratt or Motley Crue, they’re nowhere near the “James Taylor stretched out, faded blue T-shirt and baggy jeans” look. / happen to think they look really sexy!

Second, her criticism that the band seemed totally lost onstage. If they weren’t getting a soundcheck there would have been no opportunity for them to become familiar with the stage or correct malfunctioning equipment. As for her complaints about lack of set, design and atmosphere—there’s no room or time for an elaborate set, and the atmosphere is going to be spent presenting their songs in the best possible manner. Besides, with Don Dokken’s voice, George Lynch’s guitar playing and the solid rhythm section of Jeff Pilson and Mick Brown, plus the strong songwriting ability of this quartet, everything else is just icing on the cake!

Rose Riker

Sioux City, IA

DURAN DURAN WAS ALREADY TAKEN!

I need to settle an argument with a person of little knowledge about Motley Crue. We would like you to briefly explain how they (Motley Crue) came about getting the name for the group. Please write and tell us. Thank you.

S.B. & M.N.

So. Roxana, IL E