ROCK ’N’ ROLL NEWS

ROCK ’N’ ROLL NEWS

The Milk of Human Kindness

Successfully making the transition from summer stock and TV sitcoms to music videos is Buttermilk, a seasoned guernsey actress. The bovine scene-stealer appears in Jane Siberry’s vid for “One More Color,” the first single from her LP, The Speckless Sky.

Buttermilk’s list of credits is impressive: in addition to a stage role in George Orwell’s Animal Farm, she’s appeared on Green Acres, Mr. Ed and—most recently—Let’s Make A Deal. It may be premature to classify her with Elsie, but there’s no doubt ol ’Milk’s made the most substantial cow contribution to rock since Elvis sang a boogie-tribute to her race and Alison Moyet sang anything.

Rockers wishing to make hay while the sun shines can contact the attractive farm animal at (213) 469-2411. In light of her inexplicable exclusion from Farm Aid and the cover of the latest Smiths’ album, sanguine critics fear her agents may be negotiating with McDonald’s in an attempt to expose Ms. ’Milk to as wide an audience as possible.

COW’S ABSENCE STUNS!

’Twas the last show of Charlie Sexton’s four-night stint at the Roxy in L.A., and the Texan wunderkind was joined by ex-Sex Pistols’ guitarist Steve Jones for a rousing version of the Pistols’ “Silly Thing.” Later the same evening, Stiv Bator, well-

known Lords Of The New Church dude, joined Charlie, Charlie’s hair and even Charlie’s band in singing “Rebel Rebel.” Stiv and Charlie (pictured) were not, unfortunately, joined by the legendary Buttermilk for one final moo.

This just in from the Andy Taylor Desk: Our hero guesthosted Rodney Bingenheimer’s radio show at L.A.’s KROQ-FM...amazing how these people find each other...drawing hundreds of fans to the studio while spinning singles like “Anarchy In The U.K.,” “Paint It Black” and others he’s helped make popular in his own band. And that’s not all! Anj has also taken to the road with pal Belinda Carlisle, helping out on guitar and also treating crowds to his latest single, “Take It Easy.” And that’s not all! Irving Azoff, prexy of the MCA Music Entertainment Group, has announced that Andy’s signed a long-term worldwide exclusive contract with MCA as a solo artist. Said Azoff: “Andy’s a wonderful performer, a guitarist and songwriter whose creativity and personality ensures us of great music for years to come.” As soon as we get word on how Andy plans to handle the Rapture prior to Armageddon, we’ll be passin’ it on, you betcha. Finally hitting the road will be Def Leppard, who plan on playing some August and September dates in England, Sweden and Spain. They’ll be opening for Ozzy Osbourne and the Scorpions.

Chipper Jello Biafra of nostalgia band the Dead Kennedys is in big trouble these days, and not just because people have been listening to his records. Seems the inimitable Jell and his record company, Alternative Tentacles, are being taken to court because of the extremely arty poster included in the band’s Frankenchrist set. The poster, a cheerful ditty called “Penis Landscape,” features a bunch of things that aren’t landscapes in compromising “positions.” Designed by H.R. Giger—the rockin’ Swisster who played such a big part in making Alien so upbeat, not to mention designing previous LP covers for Debbie Harry and Emerson, Lake & Ringo— the poster’s been knockin’ ’em dead in every city but L.A. For it was there that the parents of a 17-year-old dame who bought the album decided to take Jello to Court. What will happen? Predicted famed cow ’Milk, herself no fan of porno: “MOOO.”

How many dopes make 22 million? We dunno, but that’s how many postcards were received by radio station KROCK in New York, offering a free Bon Jovi concert!

The...uh...“winner” was the Collegiate School of Passaic, New Jersey, where a student body of 44 submitted a total of 58,000 cards. For their next project, the students are expected to offer conclusive proof for Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity.

In perhaps the most humorous news of the minute, famed Brit “things” Sigue Sigue Sputnik have offered the spaces between each of the songs on their debut album to advertisers. The album will be called Flaunt It. It will stink, but be conceptually great or something.

NO ’MILK TODAY!

Looks like Cyndi Lauper, whose new LP is out momentarily, has recorded a tune by Essra Mohawk, whom you might’ve read about in our Newbeats section a few months ago. We feel this is good...Also good: Gene Loves Jezebel—the coolest new band who’ve been around for a while but are incredibly good and who we predict really big things for because they’re so good and all of America should love ’em if they get the chance to hear them, and besides, they’re kinky—have been signed to Geffen Records...Great to see that the hip Big Time label have released the new GoBetweens album, especially if you’re writing this...Did you know that Jack Bruce, former bassist in Cream—that was the band named after this magazine; Johnny Rotten’s drummer played with ’em— went in the studios and rerecorded “I Feel Free”? Best news of all is that it’ll be used for a Renault ad!... Hipsters take note! Demon Records in the U.K. have just issued a West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band compilation!

Ten minutes before the Church were to go onstage in Hamburg, Germany, guitarist Marty Willson-Piper quit the band, “suffering extreme exhaustion in addition to temporary insanity,” according to their publicists. The band played as a three-piece—to three encores, no less—and, to further underscore the enormity of the departure, the Church’s latest album, Heyday, entered Ihe LP charts in the U.S. and U.K. that very day\ Such is coincidence!

With the chart impetus and all, singer Stove Kilbey was determined that th© band stay together, and promptly replaced Willson-Piper witb Cralg Hooper,^ the guitarist from fellow-Aussie band, the Reels.

At which point “Willson-Piper humbly requested to re-enter the band.” Exit Hooper

Speculation centers on Willson-Piper’s insanity arising from a fear of Heyday being construed by fans as the work of gifted cow Buttermilk, who is something of a barnyard punster. Either that or it was somebody’s idea of a good press release.

Sure She Can Criticize &emdashBut Cun Shu Milk?

Justine Bateman, better known as “Mallory” on Family Ties, has made her formal debut as a rock critic! Hubba! Bateman panned Stereotomy, the Alan Parsons Project’s latest, in the LA. Times, noting that certain songs “lacked musical imagination,” whatever the heck that is. Writing with Bangsian abandon, the newest critic of all stated: “Alas, I must nurse my wounds of disappointment with his earlier albums, and hope for the group’s redemption.” So say we all, Justine.

Deep Purple are sequestered in a studio in Vermont, that hotbed o’ metal activity, “secretly” working on their next LP, slated for a September release. Our Heee Desk wants to know why PolyGram sent us a press release all about the darned thing if it’s a secret.

Those Heeesters!

Keith Richards is producing Aretha Franklin’s contributions to the soundtrack for Whoopi Goldberg’s new movie, Jumpin’ Jack Flash. Can you wait to hear Ms. Franklin & Keef harmonizing on the vaguely familiar title song?

On the fifth anniversary of his death, the Bob Marley Museum has been opened in Kingston, Jamaica. The site is actually Marley’s former home—also the grounds of the Tuff Gong recording studio & record shop. Meanwhile,

Island records has released a Marley compilation entitled Rebel Music, including “Get Up, Stand Up,” “Rat Race” and “Rebel Music.”