'85 READERS POLL THE WINNERS THE READERS SPEAK! (Next Year They Fetch)

'85 READERS POLL THE WINNERS THE READERS SPEAK! (Next Year They Fetch)

FEATURES

You pesky readers!

The votes are in, and so are the checks. Thus, this year’s poll results.

How do we feel about it? With our hands, stupid! But we’d also like to point out to you many faithful readers that 1985 was a SIGNIFICANT TURNING POINT in the history of CREEM readers—and, therefore, ALL OF ROCK ITSELF! How so? Well, famed band of Irish descent U2 finally received the acclaim all of us at CREEM knew they so richly deserved! As the official Best Group of 1985, U2 can now be completely at ease when they act...when they act...well, you know, when they act “that way.”

Mucho applause to John Cougar Mellencamp for his great showing, ditto for Dire Straits and Bruce Springsteenwho, incidentally, had his Born In The USA. voted last year’s third best album! Next year we hope it wins! Stunning surprises include the incredibly strong showing of Heart-a band with girls in it-and the Smiths, two bands that really are alike in many ways. Mark Knopfler as Best Guitarist, while Eddie Van Halen is in fifth? Chalk it up to no new album, Eddiekins!

In all, we’re thrilled with this year’s poll results. It shows, once and for all, that CREEM’s unique editorial coverage is guaranteed to alienate every reader we’ve got! Doesn’t that count for something?

And if you’re wondering about those weird quotes scattered throughout the poll results, wonder no more-they’re actual quotes from you, our vastly loyal audience, who have stayed with us through thick and thin and don’t even care that we took all your ballots and made a papier-mache statue of Madonna in tribute to her enormous success! Or something!

TOP BAND OF 1985: 1. . Dire Straits . Motley Crue . Heart _ . Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band 6.R.E.M. 7. The smiths 8. John Cougar Mellencamp 9. Tears For Fears 10. Talking Heads

TOP ALBUM OF 1985: 1.ScarecrowScarecrowJohn Cougar Mellencamp (Riva) 2. Born In The U.S.A.-Bruce Springsteen (Columbia) 3. Theatre Of Pain-_ Motley Crue (Elektra) 4. H cart-Heart (Capitol) 5. Brothers In Arms-Dire Straits» (Warner Bros.) 6. Meat Is Murder-5 The Smiths (Sire) 7. Fables Of The. Reconstruction-R.E.M. (I.R.S.) 8. The Dream Of The Blue Turtles-Sting (A&M) 9. . Invasion Of Your Privacy-Ratt (Atlantic) 10. Like A Virgin-Madonna (Warner Bros.)

TOP SINGLE OF 1985. 1.Money For NothingDire Straits (W 11 nel Bros.) 2. Small TownJohn Cougar Mellencamp (Riva) 3. Smokin' In The Boys RoomMotlev C1 ue (Elekti a) 4. N eveiHeart (Capitol) 5. Sun City-Artists United Against Apartheid (Manhattan) 6. Home Sweet HomeMotley Crue (Elektra) 7. How Soon Is NowThe Smiths (Sire) 8. Lay It Down-Ratt (Atlantic) 9. Don’t You (Forget About Me)-Simple Minds (A&M) 10. Lonely Oll NightJohn Cougar Mellencamp (Riva)

“Have you ever noticed that Jim Kerr has no eyebrows?”

BEST MALE SINGER: 1. Bruce Springsteen 2. John Cougar lVIvHencunm 3. Robert, Plant 4. Vince Neil 5. . Bono 6. Morrissey 7. Sting 8. Paul Young” 9. Bryan Adams 10. Prinw

BEST FEMALE SINGER: 1. Ann Wilson 2. Madonna 3. Pat Benatar » 4 . Ti na '1‘ u l" n er 5. Annie Lennox 6. Kate Bush 7 I. Chrissie Hyndo 8. Stevie Nicks 9. Sade 7 10. Aretha Franklin

HES" DRUMMER: 1. Phil Collins 2 . Tommy Lee 3.Kenny Amnoll 4. Max Weinberg“ 5 . Tony Thompson 6.Larry Mullen, Jr. 7. Neal Pearl 8. Roger 'l‘aylm‘ 9 . Slow-"art (inwland 10.Grit Cam“

BEST PRODUCER: 1. Nile Rodgers 2. Ron Novison 3. Ted 'I‘emploman’ 4. Tom Worman 5. Mutt: Lange 6. John Cougar Mollom'amp 7. Brian Em) ' 8. Arthur Baker 9. . Prince 10. Jimmy Page

BE ST G‘UITARIST: 1.Mark Knopfler 2.Jeff Beck 3.Jimmy Page 4. The Edge 5. Eddie Van Halen ' 6. Peter Buck ‘ 7. Yngwie Malmsteen 8. Mick Mars 9. Andy Taylor 10. Stevie Ray Vaughan

“Do you realize how hard it is to pick the most pathetic band?”

MOST PATHETICz’ 1. Madonna“ 2. David Lee Roth 3. Prince -4.PMRC 5. Vince Neil 6. Motley Crue 7. Wham! 8. Boy George 9. W.A.S.P. 10. Bruce Springsteen-

RIPOFF OF THE YEAR: 1. Madonna' 2. Concert Prices 3. Rating Records 4. LP Prices 5. Live Aid 6.MTV 7. Prince 8.CREEM 9. N0 CREEM fm 3 month: 10. Heavy Metal

BEST KEYBOARD PLAYER: 1. Howard Jones 2. Nick Rhodes 3. Roy Bittan4. Jan Hammer 5. Jon Lord 6. Geddy Lee 7. Greg Hawkes 8. Eddie Van Halen 9. Paul Schaffer 10. Jools Holland

BEST BASSIST: 1.John Taylor 2. Nikki Sixx 3. Geddy Lee 4. Sting 5. Mike Mills 6. Adam Clayton 7. Tina *Weymouth 8. Gene Simmons 9. Toby Myers 10. Mark Andes

BEST NEW GROUP: 1. The Hooters 2.A-Ha 3. ’til Tuesday 4. Lone Justice 5. Katrina & TheWaves" 6. Power Station 7. The Firm 8.Scritti Politti 9.Mr. Mister 10. Jesus & Mary Chain 10. Dream Academv (tie)

WORST GROUP: 1. Motley Crue 2. Wham! 3.‘Dead Or Alive 4. Twisted Sister 5. Arcadia 6. Duran Duran 7. Starship’ 8. W.A.S.P. 9. Tears For'Fears 10. Ratt

ALBUM COVER OF THE YEAR:

1. Scarecrow—

John Cougar MeWencahvp (R\va)

2. Theatre Of Pain—

Motiey Crue (Elektra) . 7

3. Heart—Heart (Capitol)

4. Little Creatures—

Talking Heads

(Sire)

ft o. Born In The U.S.Av—

Bruce Springsteen &:

The E Street Band

(Columbia)

(V. Around The'World In

Day—Prince & The

. Revolution

(Warner Bros.)

7. Brothers In Arms-^

Dire Straits .

H (Warner Bros,)

8. Invasion Of Your Privacy—Ratt

. (Atlantic)

9. Meat Is Murder— :

The Smiths

H (Sire)

H TO. Fables Of The 7

“If only there was a ‘Quote Of The Year’ category...the prize would go to the evertruthful Nina Blackwood, who actually said: ‘You’re watching MTV. I’m Nina Blackwood and we’ve got Simple Minds!”’

“The two guys in Tears For Fears are the ugliest, most pompous people—yet they make good music.

What gives?”

“My mom thinks Bohby Blotzer is cute!’ “Can’t you people ever be serious about anything?”

“This survey is stupid, which makes my answers look stupid, which they probabiy are anyway.”

ROCK CRITIC OF THE YEAR:

1. John Mendelssohn 2. J. Kordosh

3. Bill Holdship

4. Dave DiMartino:

5. Robert Christgau

6. Rick Johnson

7. Edouard Dauphin 8. Dave Marsh

9. Lisa Robinson

10. Richard Riegel.

10. Sylvie Simmons (tie)

VIDEO OF THE YEAR:

1. Money For NothingDire Straits

2. Take On Me-A-Ha 3. Never—Heart

4. Small Town—

John Cougar Melibhcamp :

5. Sun City—Artists United Against Apartheid

6. Home Sweet Home— ., Motley Crue

7. Smokin’ In The Boys Roofn—Motley Crue'

8. Lonely OP Night— John Cougar Mellehcam[

9. Boys Of Summer—

Don Henley 10 What About love

PHOTOGRAPHER OF THE YEAR:

1. Lynn Goldsmith 2. Mark-Weiss

3. Neil Zlozower

4. Ross Marino

5. Neal Preston 6. Bob Alford

7. Ebet Roberts

8. Robert Matheu

9. Laura Levine 10. Ross Halfin

SEX OBJECT OF THE YEAR:

1. Madonna 2. Bruce Springsteen

3. Nancy Wilson

4. Don Johnson 5. Tina Turner

6. Vince Neil

7. John Cougar Mellencamp

8. David Lee Roth