BRITMETAL: Dunkirk In Vain!

BRITMETAL: Dunkirk In Vain!

Sylvie Simmons

Princesses with Nazis for daddies, Prime Ministers in Malaysia saying “Hello Singapore,” Adam Ant losing his hair, George Michael bursting into constant tears, the decline of western civilization itself. But how little it all means when METAL is here to bring you the news that flared trousers are making a comeback! Or so that radar of fashionable Britain, The Face tells us. And comforting news, no doubt, for Ratt’s singer Stephen Pearcy. The little rodent’s pants, so I’m assured by my investigative journalist pals at British metalmag Kerrang, are especially made by a seamstress with a secret pocket in the crotch so’s he can stuff several pairs of socks down it and present himself as the Bulge you all know and love.

No such little troubles for John Sykes of Whitesnake. Our golden boy—who we re told has been “wowing the youngsters during an American tour, but now the British beefcake is heading home, Yankgoodness!’’—posed topless

for the Sun newspaper, pouting, windswept, and his jeans fly provocatively, nay

boldly, undone, proving what the Sun says: “The 26-year-old bachelor guitarist is the sort of slim-hipped hunk female pop fans would love to make music with.

But not female pop stars. Chrh Hynde has just given birth to Jii Kerr's baby—dad was there for delivery—a so-far nameless girl weighing 7 pounds and 11 ounces, about the same weight as the stuffed pocket in the front of Stephen Pearcy^ pants, and considerably heavier than tWpttle girl Pat Benatar unleashed on th^vorld a little earlier. Though probably not as^^^^H any baby Lita Ford and Tony lornmE would create! No, there’s no imminent IM tie banging of tiny heads yet, but there] is word that the two great guitar players stars intend to tie the knot! Which is just

what Iron Maiden guitarist Dave Murray has done. Which is just what Tjirlschool’s Kim McAuiifffe and Hanoi Rocks’s Mike Monroe haven’t done. Is their love on—uh—the Rocks? Will Kim find solace in religion like Tina Turner? So completely devout is the lady that she says she’s going to give up rock ’n’ roll at 50 to become a Buddhist teacher. Meanwhile there’s a few years left to go, and her recent gig in Birmingham (home of Ozzy) gave David Bowie the chance to croon with her onstage and declare: “Standing next to her is the hottest place in the universe, singing is like a kiss.” Not Gene imons. An American cable TV company fjkned the T.T. concert for posterity and cash, and Bowie’ll pop up on the big screen too—f^s got a part in the new Muppets movie, Labyrinth.

Dio-sized pop idOi David Cassidy turned up in Munich to see Tina s show and was delighted, No 7 mag relates, when a horde of teens came up toask for his autograph. Until they parted notebooks in hand, with the words. Act sank you, sank you Mr. Bryan Adams,” the tour’s opening act. Oops...

No such mistaken identity in Australia, where Twisted Sister and Spandau Ballet were sharing a hotel recently. According to a report in the Sun, Dee and the boys threatened to beat up the Brits—“Let’s get the wimpy rockers!” the battle-cry resounds through the Antipodes; kangaroos quake on their large feet; corks hide under their hats in fearall because T.S. were peeved, says the paper, that fans surrounding the hotel refused to take their autographs, waiting instead for the Spands to appear.

FEATURES

Over here, heavy rockers rarely put in a public appearance—endless parties, and rarely does anyone heavier than PhW Collins turn up for the free booze JtfhMW would we be without Noddy Holder. Lemmy, and the tireles^Mill Lynott? So we all appreciate tbe effort made by Roger Taylor of Queen, and Rick Per* fitt of Status Quo. who rubbed elbows •nan Christopher Reeve at . / for the premiere of the British mov|, Morons From Outer Space The ast of Queen have been busy digging out an old song for a Greenpeace benefit album—put together by George Harrison and a Japanese record company—which will include Howard Jones, Eurythmics, Nik Kershaw and Madness. There’s a place for everyone...

Like a sturgeon...Fab record of the month is the Lords Of The New Church’s version of Madonna’s “Like A Virgin.’’ real gritan-the-bellybutton stuff. The cover pictures the picturesque Stlv Bator in black fishnet tights. And fab news of the month, more exciting than Michael Jackson's body-search at London Airport the other week, is that Motley Crue plan a World Tour early summer after Theater Of Pain is released!

Maritllon are in Berlin, working on their third album ..the Tygers Of Pan Tang have completed a new LP—if only they had a label to release the HHBBHlneck’s finished his first solo ^ve years, Get Workin’...Saxon ^^^Deen in Germany recording a new Proum, which looks like coming out on EMI, despite a court injunction from their old label Carrere...There’s a double live Hawkwind album just released, Space Ritual Vol II, recorded a mere l^years ago at the Sundown in South Londonjn® all previously-unreleased material...Huw Lloyd Langton has taken time out from Hawkwind to tour with his sideline group—including an ex-Pretty Things drummer—and release an album, Night Air...Scorpions drummer Herman Ranbal is putting out a re-done version ^■Hs^olo album, Nip In The Bud, ^^HRitled Herman The German. The H^ingle features Don Dokken on locals.

AC/DC’s Brian Johnson’s doing a solo album as well, but he’s not leaving his singing spot with the band, despite scurrilous rumors to the contrary. AC/DC’s album is nearly ready and they’re planning a World Tour to follow.

How could somebody be so right? And so wrong? Two quotes from John Taylor of Power Station, nee Duran Duran, in Melody Maker: 1) “I could release a record of farts and it would sell.” 2) “(“Some Like It Hot” sounds like) a funky Led Zeppelin’s the closest thing I can think of.”

Led Zeppelin bassist and keyboardist John Paul Jones did the soundtrack to the much-slagged movie Scream For Help, and the album’s just come out. It features arrangements and production by Jones, and guest appearances by Jimmy Page, Jon Anderson and Madeleine Bell. Those old 'uns just keep going. Unlike youngish one Mark Stanway, keyboard player in Robin George’s Dangerous Music band. The poor chap’s had to drop out of their tour after contracting pleurisy; Alan Nelson’s standing in.

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Doctors have just removed a 6-inch metal pin from Del Leppard drummer Rick Allen’s arm, and he’s trying out a new drumkit. "He’s being realistic,” colleague Joe Elliott told journalist Dante Bonutto. "If he can’t do it, he can’t, but he’s definitely gonna try...With the technology available today, I don’t see why he can’t play snare drum with his left foot, say, and if he can do that and maybe have tom tom fills already recorded on a trigger, then the kit would look exactly the same.” Otherwise, he reckons, the only difference will be, "He’ll have to wear a shirt now, whereas before he’d always go bare-topped.”

And finally, a snippet from the London Evening Standard on the trials and tribulations of drummer Cozy Powell. The first rehearsal with new colleagues Keith Emerson and Greg Lake fell flatter than Stephen Pearcy's sockless stage pants; Cozy forgot to bring his drumsticks.!