CHAINMAIL

CHAINMAIL

Hey, we sure appreciate all those letters you've been sending us! We appreciate 'em so much, in fact, that we're gonna print 'em so that everybody can share in your ofttimes poignant observations, interesting opinions and astonishing statements of fact. Send your letters to:

CHAINMAIL, CREEM’s Close-Ups P.O. Box P-1064 Birmingham, Ml 48012

BUT ED. LIKES PEOPLE WITH HIS NAME

I’m sick of you people praising Edward Van Halen. I think he plays guitar like an amateur. If you want to write about excellent guitarists, write about Ritchie Blackmore, not Edward Van Halen!!

Kerri Price

Purple City, IL

INTERESTING QUERY

Please answer me one question. Why do you never do articles on groups like Venom, Mercyful Fate, Slayer, etc.? Is it because they play Black Metal?

A Black Metal fan

Port Saint Lucie, FL (No—Ed.)

POINTLESS CRITICISM

I couldn't help noticing some glaring omissions in your CREEM Close-Up Issue (March 1985) on Metal Rock 'N' Roll.

One of the omissions was in the 1960s when you (I assume that it was an oversight!) forgot to include Led Zeppelin I and The Velvet Underground and Nico! Why? That’s all I want to know.

Now for the 1970s. Where in the hell is Led Zeppelin IV and the Who’s Who's Next? Plus, what in God's name is Kiss doing on the list? Are you insane?

Aside from these naive mistakes, this issue was good. Finally someone recognized the MC5's album, Kick Out The Jams, motherfuckers! It’s about time people finally recognize who the MC5 are and how good they are.

Keith Jones

Vancouver, BC, Canada

GIRLSCH00L?

Heavy Metal music lovers are a rare breed and that’s why I’m hoping you can help me. I'm going to be starting school at Longwood College in Virginia this fall. The thought of ending up with a roommate who loves wimp rock or country music makes me sick! I'm hoping, through this letter, to find another real metal maniac who is also planning to go to Longwood. If there’s any girl out there who’s gonna go to Longwood and really loves metal, please contact me.

Susan Jones

Brookneal, VA

NO FUNN, THIS FINN

Look! The only reason I bought this magazine, CREEM Close-Up (Metal Rock ’N’ Roll'.) is because of the pictures of Motley Crue and the singular pictures of Vince Neil!!!!!! And then I read the shit about Motley Crue vs. Yardbirds. We were very angry about what they said about the best group of all (Motley Crue). I don’t think you have the right to say what you said ’cause the Yardbirds stink very badly. They think they could beat the Crue but they could never, I mean never beat them. If they are so great why aren’t they so famous like the Beatles or something? This person Anastasia Finn is fucked up in the mind. You aren’t qualified to say anything if you think the Yardbirds are forever but Motley Crue never. (Not true at all because they are great.) I don’t see a story about another group you write about like this! They are doing what they like and want to do. So don’t write about them or say bad stuff about them.

Two concerned people that care about Motley Crue

Birmingham, Ml

PLEASE DON’T READ THIS LETTER

Let’s take a vote count here. How many people agree with me that Motley Crue’s music is really nothing but noise and the four punks in the group are really just undisciplined little brats that need the shit kicked out of them! Readers comment, please.

J.M.C.

Saginaw, Ml

KISS CONFUSIN’ EVERYBODY!

I recently bought the record Love Gun by Kiss. It’s an excellent record, however, the record label is screwed up! They printed the order of songs wrong, printed some songs on the wrong side, and underneath the masterpiece “Shock Me” they spelled Ace’s last name “Freeley” (instead of Frehley). I was curious if most of the Love Gun records are like this. I say “most” because everyone else I know who has the record doesn’t have that trouble.

Christeen Sixteen

Norwalk, CT

(What an unusual problem.—Ed.)

MRS. FINN FOR PRESIDENT!

I think CREEM is a great magazine!! I enjoy your articles and great pix. But, in your CREEM Close-Up’s 1985 March issue, I was deeply offended!!!

Offended by a pompous, egotistical, biased writer, whom I only pray isn’t on your regular staff! Her name, Mrs. Anastasia Finn...who wrote the article, “The Yardbirds vs. Motley Crue.” Her article consisted of one biased opinion after another. How could a great magazine like CREEM let “Mrs. Firin’’ get away with such propagandist innuendo? If I was her boss, she’d be fired!! If I was Motley Crue, whose name she slandered, I would sue her and hold her liable!! Then I’d go to her house and kick her ass for her! Your readers deserve objective writers, not opinionated ones. Don’t you agree? Who does Anastasia Finn think she is anyway? She says she is a mother who fears what Motley Crue stands for. She fears her kids being submitted to a group like them. But, perhaps she is more like them than she knows. Her kids don’t have to read trash and foul words rock stars said in an article, they can read the “trashy” language she used!! It would serve her right if she had to retract her profanity! I think Motley Crue deserves better!! I have listened to their music for over a year, and 18 months from now, I will still be listening to them. They have the image and the talent!!! Unlike Finn, I like lots of groups (I think the Yardbirds are OK). I’m not biased! So please CREEM, please refrain from printing articles by pompous, arrogant, obnoxious, egotistical bores!!

Megin Miller (We'll sure try.—Ed.)

NAME OF “JEEZ” TAKEN IN VAIN!

I just finished reading the March CREEM Close-Up Metal and I would just like to point out a few things from “The Book of HM Lists.”

#1—In the intro to that, Rick Johnson asks if anyone’s seen “the little shit that played Eddie from The Courtship Of Eddie's Father.’’ Well, I’ve seen him. A couple of years ago, there was some dumb TV special called Whatever Happened To... or something like that. Guess who was on? That’s right—“Eddie.” He came out on stage with green hair! Talk about punker twerps, jeez!

#2—Kickass mag’s editor knows what he talking about when he says who’s metal and who’s not. Metal gets bad PR when assholes like “Mutley Puke” go around saying how many women they’ve screwed with a bottle. What’s wrong Nikki, can’t you get it up?

#3—Robbin Crosby does not have a stupid looking haircut—I’ll bet John Mendelssohn does!

Well that’s all I have to say and I bet you guys probably won’t print this anyway.

Spacy

Cloud 9, NYC

WHAT’S THE MATTERHORN?

What does Marc Storace of Krokus think he is? “Bands like Motley Crue and Ratt have simple three chord mentality and nonsensical lyrics.” Krokus aren’t popular, they aren’t heavy metal, they aren’t anything. They’re a bunch of guys that threw together a couple of tunes.

Yeah, Storace is a “midnite maniac” out to take control of a bunch of fags. They aren’t ever “ready to rock” at the “Ballroom Blitz” on “Boys Nite Out”.

The Crue rules and Zeppelin is king. Krokus are a bunch of fags out to make a non-honest buck.

I hated their concert...it wasn’t good at all: Sammy Hagar was 100 percent better.

A Heavy Metal Rocker waiting to jam

Rockwood, PA {Really?—Ed.)

LETTER FROM AN OLD PERSON

This letter outta keep all those has-been ’60s acid queens out of this magazine: 1) The Yardbirds will never blow away Motley Crue in a million years! 2) I’ve been bangin my head to metal since I first saw Van Halen back in ’78! And if you think I’m gonna start listening to old dinosaur crap like the Stones, Y’birds, Beatles, etc., then you’re full of it. Oh, by the way Mrs. Finn, no way did old Beatle clones like the Yardbirds create metal; no, my dear, it took real blood and guts bands like Black Sabbath, Aerosmith and Zeppelin to do the job.

Metal Monster

Los Angeles, CA

LETTER WITH DETAILED CRITICISM OF GENE SIMMONS

I’m writing to inform other readers, if a chosen few don’t already know, how arrogant, conceited, paranoid, and in general, what a prick Gene Simmons really is.

On December 30, 1984, I had the privilege of obtaining a backstage pass and a possibility of meeting Kiss at their concert at the Auditorium. It was around 8:30 p.m. and the opening band Queensryche was well into their set when Mr. Simmons appeared by the backstage gate. Some fans outside the gate were struggling to catch a glimpse, get an autograph, or take a picture of the star. Everything seemed normal. Thinking it would be an honor to have a picture taken with a hero of mine of over 10 years, I stood next to him and my girlfriend started to take the picture. Out of nowhere, he produced a giant bag of Oreo cookies and blocked his face from her camera. Myself and all of the other backstage guests were puzzled by his reaction. He was very rude and discourteous to her and said some things I’d like to forget. I couldn’t believe what a foul mouth he had. A short while later, probably seeing the hurt expression on my face that my idol had been tarnished, a member of the road crew came up to me and explained that “Gene doesn’t like to have his picture taken without his makeup or wig on.” THAT’S RIGHT! GENE SIMMONS WEARS A WIG!! Some think it’s because of his haircut for that movie he was just in, but actually it’s because of his receding hairline. It’s receding so much that the only two things that the astronauts saw from the space shuttle was the Great Wall of China and Gene’s forehead!!

Now if Gene wanted his privacy, he should not have been parading around where he could be seen, but that has nothing to do with the point I’m about to make. When someone becomes a “star,” he gives up certain luxuries like privacy for the money and fame, and becomes the property of the public. The public is the stars’ livelihood. Without us fans, they would never get to be stars. We made them stars but we can also make the stars fall!! It’s the little guys that make them big!!

Mike Budisz

(a disgusted fan)

Milwaukee, Wl

PADRES LOSE IN FIVE!

We are DAMN proud of RATT!

All of San Diego, CA (Good for you.—Ed.)

LETTER WE DIDN’T BOTHER TO READ

I would like to thank Sylvie Simmons for writing such a fine article on Y&T (CREEM Close-Up, January, 1985). It retained my interest from beginning to end; however, that is not the reason why I am writing this letter.

There was an article (in the same issue) titled “Rating the New Guitar Heroes” (written by Rick Johnson). In the article, there was no mention about guitarist extraordinaire Dave Meniketti: Dave Meniketti is one of the best guitarists in rock ’n’ roll today. I’m very surprised to see that such a fine musician was overlooked. I’ve listened to Y&T on vinyl and I have had the privilege of watching them perform live and without a doubt Y&T are one of the best rock 'n' roll groups in music today.

I hope such a careless error will never happen again.

Long Live Rock ’n’ Roll Long Live Y&T James Cerniglia Deer Park, NY

BACKIN’ BLACKIE!

Q: What does W.A.S.P. stand for?

A: Who the fuck cares!!!

“THE OTHERS”

Yakima, WA

LETTER FROM JEB BRANIN!

I figured I better point out a few problems with your latest Metal Rock 'N' Roll before someone with more brains and less tact did so.

First of all, Doc Sex. I want you to know that you ruined Twisted Sister’s image. How? By giving them a B + in sex appeal. The last thing in the world Sister wants is to be sexy.

Second. You gave the Godz 10th best album in the ’70s because of one song? Come on. Metal in the ’70s wasn’t that bad. Plus you entered two B.O.C. albums in the top ten. What a joke. What about Deep Purple, Montrose, B.T.O., Judas Priest...

Third. You let a mother of—what was it, two kids—who’s been married 28 years and is a doctor of sociology write an article on Motley Crue? Of course she’s gonna hate them! That's what Motley Crue is all about! They want people like her to hate them. If she liked them Nikki Sixx would probably kill himself.

Lastly. How can you say Dee Snider has one of the stupidest hair cuts? That's impossible. His hair has never been cut\

Jeb Branin Orem, UT

(Thanks for your thoughts on those troublesome issues.—Ed.)

LETTER FROM GODLESS COMMUNIST

I just want to say that the girls in Madam X have more balls than Ratt, Motley Crue, Twisted Sister and Quiet Riot put together.Wake up, America! Not all women can rock, but these two can, and I’m damn proud that they’re Americans, and so am I.

Michael

Los Angeles, CA

LETTER BE’0 HO SHIP HAD MAILED FROM TEXAS

This letter is just to say that Dokken rules. Just Another Dokken Letter,

Plano, TX

(Be 'o! Ed. tires of your obsession with Don and the guys.—Ed.)

REAL METAL DEFINED

I hope now that Deep Purple is back and doing very well, you'll start featuring not only them but other groups from the old school, like the Firm, Black Sabbath, Whitesnake, Dio, Ozzy and Alcatrazz— not the endless wheel of noise that's been around like Van Halen. They're not a rock group, they’re a video group. Open up a whole new generation to real metal and let the people come taste the band and burn with Deep Purple.

Mark A. O’Neill Stamford, CT (Right on, my man!—Ed.)