MAIL

MAIL

DEPARTMRNTS

Please send letters to:

MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine

P.O. Box P-1064

Birmingham, Ml 48102

YOW!

This letter is in response to every reference I see in your magazine to the God-awful blandness of American radio today.

As I tune my northern Colorado FM radio dial this very moment, here's what I hear: KPKE, "Play the Game Tonight," Styx; KGBS, "Lady," Little River Band; KUAD, "Band on the Run"; "Juke Box Hero,' Foreigner; Q103, "Even the Nights Are Better," Hair Supply (Elton's fave band.)

Had enough?

The reason you're hearing the same old/new stuff on the radio today is really quite simple— THAT'S THE STUFF MOST PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR ON THE RADIO TODAY. PERIOD.

To be crassly realistic, Ed., here's the way it is in average America today: l)most people have never hegrd of a band like, say Squeeze; 2) most people in this country on/y want to hear the Styx/Journey/Foreigner/Kansas axis; 3)most people don't read and have never even heard of CREEM Magazine. (Sorry, Ed.)

Those are the cold, hard, true facts. If you don't believe me, just ask any typical American teenager or typical American young Adult (21-35 yrs.) (And I don't mean one you find two blocks from your office.)

Long live the Go-Go's.

Rob Magnuson, aka "Bob Simon"

96/KGBS Radio Greely, CO

(You must be a real "popular"guy. —Ed.) GREAT!

i am not pleased with anything—i do not find humor enjoying—i like your magazine—but that's another story—how would you like to help me take over the world—bring two friends along—please, no assholes like jagger or stewart—maybe d. roth maybe a. ant—maybe j. lydon—but definitely no j. kordosh or d. dimartino—i have spoken—i may go off the planet—write back to me please—that is all—i think—probably—but you never can tell—

i am signing off—farewell.

j. strummer is great

s. azzara/d.l.

staten island, new york

p.s. it is great to kill

schneider w/the kick

ABSOLUTE KROQ

Silly me, buying the September issue after I'd already bought the October. Seems I'm mildly hooked on your magazine, mainly two reasons: (1)1 have developed an obsession with Robert Christgau (how does he pronounce his last name, anyway?), and (b)I think about half of every issue is hysterical. Actually, the other half is usually unreadable, but when it consists of interviews of morons like David Lee Roth, how readable could it get? But I must have a better reason for writing...

Oh. Yes. The last two paragraphs of Mitchell Cohen's review of Rick James' Throwin'* Down sound like a scathing indictment of your mag, not to mention the usual tirade against AOR radio. What is Sly Stone up to these days? And When do we get a cover story of that master of rap, Grandmaster Flash? I admit that articles about Iron Maiden and Judas Priest serve a useful, if limited purpose—since I've never heard a song by any of those monolithic groups straight through, nor do I intend to, it's at least fun to read about how stupid they are. But being funny about hard rock doesn't seem quite enough these days. Can you really say you're doing anything about the sorry state of rock radio?

Everybody out here seems to be picking up on KROQ, but the truth is that they play songs in the same tight cycle as the "dinosaurs." Sure, you'll hear the Clash, Oingo Boingo, the Gang of Four and Tom Robinson, but unless you have a particular affection for "Should I Stay Or Should I Go," there's not much use in listening more than once a week. Why don't we get to hear some of Aretha Franklin's new album, supposedly her best in years? Playing "new wave" just isn't enough, damn it!

OK, enough ranting. After all, if I'm patient I can hear X and Talking Heads too. But I'll never hear Richard and Linda Thompson. Or the MC5. Which reminds me: how about a "where are they today" on that seminal band? You could do the Stooges too—I just started getting into Fun House last week. Does that make me regressive, or visionary? Just seems to me that indeed you may be America's only rock 'n' roll magazine, but groups like Van Halen and Rainbow just don't cut it as rock 'n' roll. I'm sorry. Actually, I think I just might mourn the passing of Joy Division (told you I was a little slow) and give up rock altogether. But I guess I'll still read your mag. Please, just one article on someone you never hear on the radio?

Long live Ian Curtis,

Ken Scott

Garden Grove, CA 92640 (Ian doesn't live here anymore. —Ed.)

THINK OF FREDDIEI

You know, if God wanted CREEM readers to hate Americans, he would have had Aldo Nova come from Detroit. By the way, any news when Loverboy is finally going to break up?

Spot

Denver, CO

P.S. God save the queen, because she ain't Martha Davis.

MAX FROST!!

Dear Mr. Christgau,

As a fan of the underground rock scene, I resent you putting down The Record by Fear and Wild In The Streets by the Circle Jerks because of the length of the records.

Considering the rapid speed that these bands play at a one minute song by, say, the Circle Jerks is actually the same length in content and lyrics as an average rock song (three min.) by say, AC/DC.

If Fear really wanted to bore rock fans with 10 minute guitar solos loke heavy metal bands do, then sure, they could put out 40 minute albums, but what's the point?

I mean, hell, I'd rather play my Group Sex album (Circle Jerks) which is only 13 minutes in length over and over for an hour than listen to some "guitar genius" with an ego big enough to fill a double album.

I agree with you on the Ramones, Stooges and the Sex Pistols. But let's face it, you're getting older now.

Ken Kissir (Age 16)

Portland, OR

P.S. FEAR is coming here on Sept. 18—I'M GOING!

(In your pants, undoubtedly. —Ed.)

VOLLEY, GIL!!

Like, oh mi god! Like, your magazine isn't total to the max. It's like, Mr. Buffo! The Clash is totally bitchin' group with totally bitchin' songs and shows. But, well, you never even write anything decent about them. Van Halen, Journey, etc. are grody to the max, for sure. Barf me out. Gag me with a spoon!

So please write more about the Clash, so I can have something decent to read when I'm having my toenails done. I'm sure! Totally to the max. Really bitchin'!

Really Bitchin'

Valley Veleuti Valley High

San Fernando Valley, CA P.S. Like, it figures you guys come from Michigan. Grody to the max!

HOMAWK!

Now that Joe Strummer has a Mohawk you better not refer to it whenever you have an article or picture of the Clash like you did when he had his teeth fixed. OR ELSE!!!

Rocking the Casbah Joe Tuczak Mt. Clemens, MI P.S. Know your Rights!!!

P.P.S. Elmo Rules!!!

I HATE...PURPLE!!

If you're going to print two pictures and four (at least) mentions of the Anti-Nowhere League in two issues, you could at least print an article on them.

Incidentally, Iman Lababedi writes like such a twerp, he could probably get a job at NME.

Believe it or not, I actually like Robert Christgau!

Yers, Mine & Hours,

Walter Lilly

Croton-On-Hudson, NY P.S. By the way, the Five Royales had the first hit of "Dedicated To The One I Love."

P P.S. How about a special on the Archies? P.P.P.S. Bring back Simon Frith!!!

(He'd drown. —Ed.)

ALPOAS DEITY!

Robert Plant is sure starting to look a lot like Johnny Cash.

Sincerely,

Persephone Longeueial

San Diego, CA

'S NO IVORY!!

Thanx CREEM! Your September issue just saved my new carpet! My baby daughter just threw up all over the cover.

B. Darned

Scotch Plain, NJ

P.S. True!

LIST OF BOOK!!

1. David Lindley is not a woman.

2. New wave music now controls more minds than cocaine or LSD combined.

3. The only listenable heavy metaller is Sammy Hagar. (Heavy metal is also a dead music.)

4. The Pretenders have not fallen. They only lost two members, and that won't stop Chrissie Hynde.

5. Canadian people hate CREEM magazine.

6. A Flock of Seagulls is a group. So is Bow Wow Wow.

7. Ray Davies is too good lookin' for Chrissie Hynde to keep to herself.

8. Pat Benatar is short.

9. Brooke Shields has ovaries.

10. British Invasion music is better than American and Canadian music combined.

11. The Ramones used to be good. (Split Endz used to be bad.)

12. Superman is my hero.

13. Sting can "sting" me anytime he wants.

14. Ian Hunter feels no animosity toward Ric Ocasek. (And vice versa.)

15. Wendy O. Williams put? out to Hare Krishna members and anyone who looks like David Lee Roth.

16. Me and Pete Farndon both wear hoop earrings in our left ears!

Kimi-2

Redding, CA

One Bloody Big Pretenders Fan!

P.S. England & New Wave Forever!

P.P.S. I only listen to the Dead Kennedys when I feel rebellious.

P.P.P.S. CREEM is the only good rock mag. (Now that I've built up your ego, do an article on Chrissie Hynde, huh?)

PLANT THIS!!

Basically, your magazine sucks. I would, however, like to commend one of your writers, Susan Whitall, for her absolutely charming article on Robert Plant—the sole hope of the dying breed of rock 'n' rollers.

Led Zeppelin will forever be the ultimate rock 'n' roll band, despite criticism from REO-type fans and punk masochists. I am content, however, that the surviving members of the immortal band have decided to "go to their own corners" and let Zeppelin live on by itself. I respect the emotions Robert, John Paul, and Jimmy must have felt—and are feeling—over the death of John Bonham. It would be downright selfish for their fans to expect them to go on being Led Zeppelin as if nothing had happened. I can still spin my cherished Zep LPs and rejoice at every new effort of the talented alumni. Oh thank you Robert, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Rae Cline

Sanford, MI

P.S. What the hell was such a classy article doing in a sleazeball mag like yours anyway? Plant sharing the cover with Roxy Music and Squeeze???? How disgusting!!!

THE BLACKMOLE!!

Ya know, I spent a loooong time trying to figure out the right way to begin this letter so that you "PUNKS" would get it thru your thick skulls that it's just an ignorant phase you're going through. (But then I said forget it, nothin' gets thru your thick skulls. Not even a ray of light can penetrate the BLACK HOLE). Geeez, it's embarrassing to the rest of us to think you delirious, homo-type, soft-headed kiddies of today are a part of this generation. I'm a kid myself, but even I can't understand where ydu went wrong and/or wound up in the "Twilight Zone." What brain disorder could be so severe as to cause one to do such a drastic thing as listen to Punk Rock? (Scientists are searchin' for an answer). Maybe 'twas a terrible childhood memory. Well, anyway, I hope you open your eyes and see what you look like. (I won't spoil the surprise.)

You're Welcome,

signed,

Unsigned

Bay City, MI

P.S. ROBERT PLANT—I LOVE your teeth!! Thanks for cornin' back.

P.P.S. MICK, KEITH, CHARLIE, BILL AND RONNIE—Keep up the good work, guys. And Happy Belated Anniversary. Love ya's.

P.P.P.S. Oh yeah, let me not forget CREEM—nice job on ALMOST succeeding to keep David Lee Roth out of the mag for a month. At least you're trying!!

(As, in your own way, are you. — Ed.) W