HOME: The emerald-tiled swimming pools of Les Paul's mind.

AGE: Still needs help dressing.

PROFESSION: Composing soundtracks for such unproduced but much-awaited screenplays as I Am Johnny's Small Intestine, A Bucket Of Bologna and The Poltergeist Of Flannel Fiord.

HOBBIES: Bottlenecking in the back seat; playing every bingo benefit and Saturday Night social from Dublin to Des Moines; perfecting Cheetah Chrome's mating call; helping his Stratocaster adjust to a different hotel room every night.

LAST BOOK READ: Seven Wacky Accents FromDeiroit's Lower East Side by Tyrone "Hot Foot" Jaroszewicz. *

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Focusing both eyes on a tangible object after a show.

QUOTE: "I'm a Pisces—I like my women tall and cool with a twist of lime."

PROFILE: As a young lad in Eire, Rory first realized his calling in life when he inadvertently drummed out "Peggy Sue" on the back of his brother's head ; leaving his happy home, he set out in search of life, which showed up in the form of a shapely Strat with a hot pick-up. The lad was smitten and the sordid affair eventually gained worldwide recognition as throngs of youthful voyeurs traveled miles nightly to witness the onstage surrender of molten metal to human flesh. Rory never returned home, and his mother's plaintive cries still echo among the hills of County Cork ... "Fix your brother's head!"

BEER: Boy Howdy!