Is something wrong with television?

Yes. Each day it gets more like AM radio.

Do you hate it?

Sometimes, when there's nothing on. I hate it when it uses legally syntaxed platitudes to lie during the commercials and the evening news.

Also, I hate it when news film is speeded up to make people who were walking look like they were running.

Many people want to get rid of TV.

Certainly. The poor people who can no longer afford its consumer fantasy. The smart people who have better things to do. The middle class to whom tv has become a fun house mirror, casting its grotesque absurdities at them. The older people who it lied to once too often.

So someday we may live in a world without television?

Not as long as there are politicians to be re-elected. You know, the sad thing is that the tv set didn't do it.

If the current disgust with tv results in the return of vaudeville, the tv set will suffer the same dishonorable end as those who exploited it. That's not fair.

Then what good is a tv set?

I use my tv set five or six hours a week — none of that time is spent watching commercial tv. I'd use it more if video tape cassettes or tv records were available. My hi-fi system I use about 30 hours a week. Occasionally I use the Sony CF-550A on my desk to help me search out 'Oh What A Night' and 'Disco Lady'.

Expand your tv system. Buy a Sony Betafnax or an Advent Video Beam instead of a new car. Use the tv instead of serving it.

What can I do to help?

What else?

Connect a Sony video camera, Magnovox pong game, or Altair home computer to your tv set. Prices start at under one hundred dollars.

Is this going to be fun?

Is reading fun? After you learn how,, it's sometimes fun.

Is the rest of the column going to be like this?

If you didn't know about aspirin, you'd want someone to tell you, wouldn't you? Me, I'm part of the Excedrin generation. Excedrin, what a curious word, it twists off the end of my tortgue.

Why don't you ever write columns about something interesting?

The success of the tv set was greatly aided by the fact it only had one button.

I see that small advertisement in the comic books that says, 'Hypnotize with any tv set, instructions $3.00.' I think people don't need instructions, they just plug it in. But, the truth is, people must learn to read the instructions before .they plug in because some of these things...you know, you plug them in and you can't turn them off.

What about pocket calculators? Are they alright?

They're great. Yes. Calculators and digital clocks and watches are like new letters for the alphabet. You've got to know how to correctly use them to enjoy them, just like tv. Remember, no other electronics attracts like tv. No other electronics entertains as it de" bilitates.

Why are you making a big deal about this?

Well, sometimes things I see on tv scare me. If that's the way people think then we're in hot water.

We're too easily pacified with color tv, violence, and refined flour and sugar. That's when I realize that what has happened is serious. The illusion Is so compelling that nearly every food ifi the market h&s had sugar, corn syrup, or dextrose added to it. Saturday morning tv sells kids a mouthful of cavities as it prepares them ior further complications.

I know it tastes good, but it can kill \jou. I could do the same rap on new cars, patent tv medicines, and the other elixirs that make life worth living.

So why don't we just quietly sneak up on the tv set and unplug it?

Because the tv set is an extraordinary device. It is as important an invention as the printing press. As I said before, it's not the fault of the tv set that it's gotten shoddy usage. On a more theoretical level, the contemporary tv set is just one example of the hundred year development of electronic communications. Why is it that the more time we spend communicating, the less we have to say? It shouldn't be that way.

So Orwell was right?

Orwell had it backwards. He thought the tv set would watch you. He didn't realize it would be easier if you watched the tv set.

How is that Sony Betamax?

It seems to be okay. The tape is so inexpensive that it continues to be the big attraction, even when it's obvious the quality doesn't /match up to the UMatic cassette system as yet. Sony stays with a product and improves in a continuing process of updating electronics, so Betamax, if it doesn't run into competition from another tape configuration, will be the eight-track cartridge of tv recording. If you haye a good color tv, Betamax is the best tape system for you. I don't believe it has the stability necessary to be displayed on tv projectors.

Maybe I'll just go to the movies.